The Victim (2011)
1/10
Excellent contender for the worst movie I've ever seen
4 March 2012
I felt more obligated to write this review to negate the extremely overinflated reviews here than to exact my own personal revenge against this catastrophe of a "movie".

I only noticed one truthful review, hidden amongst the pack of fans who gave offensively high numbers of stars, and really, for a small independent movie, it's to be expected. But, even in allegiance to a favourite actor, I can't imagine the willpower it must have taken for them to type out their drivel.

Okay, so now actually onto the movie.

I've seen my fair share of exploitation movies; some good, some bad. What Biehn has managed to do is create the absolute worst, and I don't mean that it's incredibly graphic - it lacks any sort of gritty impact or violence. Well, it has plenty of sex, that has to be something, right? Nope. Instead of creating an homage to grindhouse, I like to think that he has invented a sub-genre called outhouse.

Lousy direction, ridiculous writing, sloppy editing, a laughable soundtrack, a cast that has the combined acting versatility of a single plank of wood, and no story. Packed full of moody driving sequences with conversation reminiscent of old people talking about the day's weather. Now, I have to emphasise that the writing is really, really bad; it violates our intelligence. Nevermind that The Victim was filmed in under two weeks, it was probably written in under half an hour.

Ryan Honey playing the corrupt cop was just painful to watch, easily the worst combination of casting and acting I've had to put up with. Danielle Harris was only marginally better, but still utterly useless. I really don't know what was up with Biehn, who just raised his voice when he was angry, or his wife's inane ramblings.

If you've ever seen the TV series Lost, then I'm sure you'll have hated those Kate centric episodes with her terrible flashbacks. If you watch The Victim, then you'll be treated with flashbacks a hundred times more redundant and boring. I was with two friends at this screening and every time a flashback popped up we couldn't help but let out suicidal groans.

I went to this screening with an open mind, but I had checked the reviews on this site beforehand and, well, they were very easy to see through. Save yourself from becoming a victim to this travesty - I am not exaggerating in the slightest. Thankfully, it hasn't had a wide release as of the time of writing this review, but it will probably be torn to pieces when some delusional distributer puts out there.

Avoid.
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