The Avengers (2012)
6/10
Overstimulated, yet Underwhelmed
4 May 2012
Warning: Spoilers
Ugh! "Avengers" wore me out. Lets begin with this spoilfest review. The character I was most looking forward to being fleshed out was Hawkeye, who starts out as a zombie.... Loki has a good entrance, but his alien-buddies are never fleshed out, named, or given any character development whatsoever. Apparently, their "advance warfare" includes just really-drunken aerial driving. Thor was a pure letdown. He had no swagger, wasn't boisterous, and his costume changed without rhyme or reason. PLUS, he just *poof* appeared, and this killed the beautiful and tragic unrequited love ending of "THOR". PLUS, PLUS, he didn't even try to find Jane, or even pound her with a hailstorm or anything! Maria Hill was just annoying eye-candy whose stunning visage countered her lack of plot-points. And Captain America was lackluster. Black Widow was okay. Hulk was funny, but it was kind of creepy how he went after Black Widow. He spends half the movie telling everyone not to bring out the bad guy, then he kind of reveals in the movies silliest moment that, oh, golly gee, I can do this anytime I want to. And Pepper Potts as a daisy-duke wearing penthouse babe? I don't think so. The worst continuity of the series fell on Iron Man. At the end of "The Incredible Hulk", it was setup where Tony Stark was forming the Avengers, then we find out in "The Avengers" that he wouldn't even be accepted? No Odin, No Jane, No tender flashback scene for Cap's love-interest... I felt the movie really could have benefited from some roller-coaster ride, instead of all peaks. I was surprised to see "Jenny Agutter" listed in the credits, apparently she was an unnamed council-member who was so poorly lit she didn't stand out. The best part was Agent Coulson who died (wtf?). And who was the rogue pilot who took it upon himself to nuke New York? No hints at future teammates.... No real philosophic underpinnings like X-Men had... It was kind of just DisneyWorld on Crack, but it was fun to see on opening night....
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