Review of The Dead

The Dead (2010)
1/10
Glad I didn't waste my money on this!
6 December 2012
Warning: Spoilers
I saw this movie on sale in a shop, thought it intriguing but didn't buy it because I had other DVD purchases to make that day, but I decided to watch it on a well known film-watching site sometime later. I wish I hadn't bothered. It seems puzzling that quite a lot of people actually LIKE this movie on the message board!

I'm glad raters have so far given this 5.8 though (currently) which is a true reflection of how bad this film really is. I watched this film literally last night with some friends and we all have patience with zombie films, as that's our favourite horror sub-genre. But this was sadly one of the worst zombie movies I've ever seen. And I've seen a lot! Even Zombie Lake was better than this and that's saying something!

The movie started off well and mysteriously, but things went badly after the plane crash. I think it was a major mistake to not give the hero Murphy any fellow survivors to travel with and talk to for a quarter of the film.

And even when he meets the African soldier NEITHER of them asks the obvious question 'WHO ARE YOU?'. So we don't even know their names until 3/4 of the way through. This bothered me as you obviously need to know your travelling partner's name in order to warn them quickly of impending attacks. 'Hey random white guy watch out a zombie's going to attack you' obviously takes too long and won't work! Not only that but the film had a really tedious plot pattern of - drive along, stop for some reason, zombies attack, escape, drive along, stop for some reason, zombies attack, escape, repeat 10 more times - for most of the movie. There was NO tension in any of the attacks as you could see them coming each time.

It's the sort of film you can do something else whilst it's on and just look up occasionally. It severely tests the patience and doesn't entertain AT ALL. Slow zombie movies (SZM - as in the zombies move slowly not the pacing) are so old-school and passé. Don't get me wrong I like classics 'SZM', but 'FZM' (fast zombie movies) are were it's at nowadays I'm afraid. There's no threat, no menace, characters only die through stupidity, tiredness, lack of ammo, being crept up on or overwhelming odds. Fast zombie films like 28 Days Later really up the horror of zombie attacks because you literally have to run for your life. This film you can just dodge them easily with minimal effort. The only 'slow zombie movies' which work are Shaun of the Dead and Zombie Flesh Eaters and the original Night of the Living Dead (of course), and that's only because of the skill of their talented directors in building tension and menace. The Ford Brothers just don't cut it sadly.

In the end I actually felt guilty for urging us all to watch this for the novelty of an African-set Zombie film as it was so long and tedious and none of us deserved to have to go through the boredom of having to watch it. 1h45 felt like 3hrs. Indeed, one of my friends even started wrapping Christmas presents halfway through it was going that badly!

If you're planning on watching this film then don't bother. Watch an entertaining zombie film like Shaun of the Dead, Zombieland, (REC), Dead Snow, 28 Weeks Later, Dawn of the Dead (the remake) or Zombie Flesh Eaters. DO NOT WATCH THIS FOR ENTERTAINMENT. You'll be disappointed. When the only positives I could come up with for this film are novelty value (and thus my 1 point score) and realistic CGI blood splatters you know this movie should just return to the grave - and stay there!
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