tadpole-596-918256 Review of No One Lives

No One Lives (2012)

This flick only made $72,140 in U.S. movie theaters . . .

[7/10 · 9 June 2013]

. . . even though it comes from the same genius behind MIDNIGHT MEAT TRAIN, Ryuhei Kitamura. Toss in the eye candy factor with the well-endowed America Olivo, and it's hard to see why the 53 movie houses taking a chance on this film did not fill up and then some. With a running time of 86 minutes, 10.42 seconds, it is not as if NO ONE LIVES is some $100 cell phone camera cheapie in which the end credits start after 69 minutes (at a REAL SLOW CRAWL to pad out the running time), and audience members are shouting "I want my money back" at the screen because the flick has quit mid-story due to the fact that the "filmmakers" ran out of time and funding before they could get the last four or five climactic scenes recorded on their cell phones. While the title of NO ONE LIVES is a clear misnomer, as this feature comes up a murder-suicide SHORT of truth-in-advertising, at least a few people are killed, with a clipboard proving as effective as meat processing equipment, metal ball bats, and, of course, this being America, guns.