6/10
A poke in the eye with a golden stick
11 March 2014
David and Jaqueline Siegel, the central figures of "The Queen of Versailles" approach levels of Shakespearean tragedy in this documentary that follows them from the heights of excess to the ugly realities of having no money. Viewers will no doubt be polarized by the Siegels. While we may feel empathy for their plight, we will probably feel some joy at their dilemma and eventual destruction.

Director Lauren Greenfield pulls off an astonishing stunt here by simply allowing the principals involved be themselves. Jackie Siegel is the entitled "queen" of a repulsive parody of that famous other Versailles over there in France. This astonishing Floridian mess would have been the largest single-family home in America. Jackie the Spendthrift becomes increasingly infuriating to the viewer as the proverbial you-know-what hits the financial fan. Thirty years junior to her husband David, she holds court over too many nannies, too many children, a million dollars worth per year of low-cut garments and ugly eBay-bound handbags, and too many dogs (including two dead ones, one of which is stuffed and on display in a glass case, and the other spending eternity as a bizarre drape on the grand piano) which merrily defecate all over a tacky, kitschy, and filthy mansion stuffed with anything and everything. Jackie thrusts her gigantic breasts at anyone who moves and coos at her aging hubby, obviously using sex and her trophy wife status to manipulate him. He, in turn, becomes fairly disenchanted with her by the end of the film, hiding in a trash infested room staring at a big screen TV while attempting to figure out how to save his disastrously gone-awry time share empire. By now, we all know David Siegel lost his shorts in the market implosion of 2008, but that doesn't faze Jackie and her breasts. She continues to compulsively shop and finally admit she has too many kids. She had them because nannies were easily available and so her mothering duties were non-existent. One comes away from this train wreck of excess and greed feeling sorry for the children of privilege who haven't a clue about the real world.

Filled with jaw-dropping scenes of a clueless Jackie attempting to cope with the vanishing money and joining the 99%, the most telling scene here is Jackie, her breasts, and her kids having to suffer the indignity of commercial flight versus their usual private jet. The kids "want to know why ALL of these other people are on their plane". Jackie rents a car and asks a stunned counter-person the name of the driver she'll have. The guy at the counter finally tells her there is no driver. Has her husband's money and the privilege it buys blinded her to the realities faced by the 99% on a daily basis, or is this a staged moment by Jackie, who wants a reality show. If she doesn't know that no driver will be supplied, she's truly delusional inside that golden bubble. If she does know that no driver will be supplied, she's disingenuous and smug, acting for the camera. You decide.

And what of the shoddy grandeur of the so-called "Versailles"? It appears now and then as the film reaches it depressing end. At the last, it's a rotting hulk brightened only by the nightly Disney fireworks from the nearby Magic Kingdom. A true metaphor for the downfall of the Siegels, their colossal waste of money on absolute trash, and most appalling, their continuation of drawing plots to get back what they threw away. Unfortunately for the neighbors, the Siegels aren't gone. The documentary ends with no resolution. However,at this time, through David's shady business acumen, they have bounced back financially enough to try and finish the house. Naturally, Jackie hopes to have a reality TV series. Hopefully she'll be able to hire a full-time poop scooper before the cameras roll.
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