3/10
Beginners Is Right!
15 June 2014
Warning: Spoilers
I didn't exactly hold high expectations for this, and I admit I watched it solely for David Bowie. But any hopes or expectations I held were speedily dashed.

What the hell WAS this farrago? A British "West Side Story", with much less compelling music. Instead of Jets vs. Sharks, it was Teds, neo-fascists and greedy developers vs. just about the entire rest of society. In 1958,the year of the story, I was 12 years old, on the verge of becoming a "teenager", this mysteriously powerful being lauded by the film as a kind of godlike figure. But the glamorization of such nasty people and the romanticism of violence, improbable situations is SO unlikely and hard to swallow. I was a kid, as I said, but I really doubt that people sat around in cafés in narcoleptic trances snapping their fingers, or at least not for long periods of time. This fictional romanticism of parasites on society is my major hate on "West Side Story" itself. And the music was godawful, except for Bowie's contributions.

As for the actors: Patsy Kensit was charming enough in a thankless role, Eddie O'Connell basically disappeared into the scenery and didn't have the chops to carry the part, James Fox was delicious as always, and Bowie had about ten minutes total screen time, including a fairly dumb musical number, only tolerable because it was him and because he's a really good dancer who wore one of the best suits I've ever seen. A sad waste of his talents: I find him to be a very engaging actor and a lot better than people give him credit for.

All in all, an unpleasant, improbable piece of silliness, reducing the Notting Hill riots to choreographed posing. Avoid.
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