I think the title says enough. However, a 20-word-long review can't possibly be a good one, can it? Therefore, I'll elaborate on it a little. There are few things I hate more than reality television. American reality television, to be exact. Not entertaining shows with a great cast like Storage Wars, but rubbish like Toddlers and Tiaras, a show that single-handedly destroyed my faith in humanity. What in the name of all that's holy, are mothers thinking, that they dress their 5-year-old daughters up like street-walking prostitutes for the entertainment of simple-minded grown-ups, most of which are probably paedophiles? It beggars belief that people can enjoy such a thing. I thought the bottom of ridiculous television had been reached. I thought the bar couldn't be lowered any further. But, apparently, it can.
I'll come back on that faith in humanity again; all the bits and pieces that were left after destruction, have been pulverised by Here Comes Honey Boo Boo, the reality-television profit machine's newest instalment of dreadful monstrosities. At the centre of this show is a typical, obese, white family. Now, most people on shows like this have an IQ of approximately 0,037, or the equivalent of a mentally handicapped cat that's been repeatedly hit on its head with a hammer. Those people are rocket scientists compared to the people on this show. It's monkey- watching at its worst. It's schadenfreude in its largest, most painful form. Speaking of schadenfreude, it surprises me that the obese, half- witted lunatics across the pond haven't come up with a separate word for it, considering their life revolves around that very concept. Then again, in all fairness, they don't even have a separate word for it in Japan, where every single game show is about schadenfreude.
Still, my point stands. One day, someone must have walked into a boardroom at the TLC office and said 'Okay, let's make a show about a random white family that can't even spell the word 'clever'.' The boss must have said: 'Yes, what a good idea!' Considering the cast of the average reality show, they probably asked how stupid the family is, to which aforementioned person said: 'Comparing them to mud-rolling pigs would be offensive; pigs are much smarter, have a much healthier diet and are cleaner too.' And whoever is responsible for producing shows, must have said: 'Yes, that's perfect! Let's start filming now!' What makes this worse, is the fact that TLC stands for 'The Learning Channel', which means that in some way, this show should enrich your life and make you a wiser, more knowledgeable person. Half a year ago, I happened to sit near a television that was displaying this show. I'm still mourning the death of several of my brain cells to this day. If aliens were to invade our planet, they'd come across this show and conclude that no intelligent life exists on our planet. Maybe that sounds positive, but it says something about our society. The American society, mostly. By now, you might have realised we should cancel this show. If needed, we should simply wipe out the entire TLC channel. That's very sad for people who want to see spoilt women spend ridiculous amounts of money on a single day known as the 'wedding day', which, according to many grown men, is justified to compensate for the years of terror coming afterwards, like Eid before Ramadan, except the suffering is longer. Either way, they'll have to make that sacrifice to get this show off air as quickly as possible.
So, to sum it all up in two sentences: this is the worst show I've ever had the inhumanly cruel misfortune of witnessing with any one of my five senses. I'd rather be dragged naked through a 50-mile trail of broken glass in the burning sun, then glance at this vomit-provoking pool of American misery for any longer than two seconds. Have a nice day.
Rating: 1 out of 10 . billion.
I'll come back on that faith in humanity again; all the bits and pieces that were left after destruction, have been pulverised by Here Comes Honey Boo Boo, the reality-television profit machine's newest instalment of dreadful monstrosities. At the centre of this show is a typical, obese, white family. Now, most people on shows like this have an IQ of approximately 0,037, or the equivalent of a mentally handicapped cat that's been repeatedly hit on its head with a hammer. Those people are rocket scientists compared to the people on this show. It's monkey- watching at its worst. It's schadenfreude in its largest, most painful form. Speaking of schadenfreude, it surprises me that the obese, half- witted lunatics across the pond haven't come up with a separate word for it, considering their life revolves around that very concept. Then again, in all fairness, they don't even have a separate word for it in Japan, where every single game show is about schadenfreude.
Still, my point stands. One day, someone must have walked into a boardroom at the TLC office and said 'Okay, let's make a show about a random white family that can't even spell the word 'clever'.' The boss must have said: 'Yes, what a good idea!' Considering the cast of the average reality show, they probably asked how stupid the family is, to which aforementioned person said: 'Comparing them to mud-rolling pigs would be offensive; pigs are much smarter, have a much healthier diet and are cleaner too.' And whoever is responsible for producing shows, must have said: 'Yes, that's perfect! Let's start filming now!' What makes this worse, is the fact that TLC stands for 'The Learning Channel', which means that in some way, this show should enrich your life and make you a wiser, more knowledgeable person. Half a year ago, I happened to sit near a television that was displaying this show. I'm still mourning the death of several of my brain cells to this day. If aliens were to invade our planet, they'd come across this show and conclude that no intelligent life exists on our planet. Maybe that sounds positive, but it says something about our society. The American society, mostly. By now, you might have realised we should cancel this show. If needed, we should simply wipe out the entire TLC channel. That's very sad for people who want to see spoilt women spend ridiculous amounts of money on a single day known as the 'wedding day', which, according to many grown men, is justified to compensate for the years of terror coming afterwards, like Eid before Ramadan, except the suffering is longer. Either way, they'll have to make that sacrifice to get this show off air as quickly as possible.
So, to sum it all up in two sentences: this is the worst show I've ever had the inhumanly cruel misfortune of witnessing with any one of my five senses. I'd rather be dragged naked through a 50-mile trail of broken glass in the burning sun, then glance at this vomit-provoking pool of American misery for any longer than two seconds. Have a nice day.
Rating: 1 out of 10 . billion.