7/10
Adventure, but not adventure that makes sense
18 September 2014
The boy-hero is a brat. He is American and imagines this entitles him to royal treatment. He is somewhat contemptuous of anything different. He sees the words only through his own eyes, only through his desires. He is selfish.

His father is a work-aholic Panda researcher who repeatedly forgets that his son exists.

The mother is an airhead.

The movie is filmed in China, in places far more beautiful that you would have imagine existed, turquoise lakes, mist-shrouded mountains, gorges. The differentness of China in every respect is just so juicy including the livestock.

I have no idea how they pulled of the special effects without killing someone, falling from creaking wooden bridges, falling over cliffs, being swept downstream in torrents, riding a runaway horse cart... They never let you get your breath before some other calamity overtook our heroes.

Most of the dialogue is in Chinese without subtitles, though sometimes the young female translator gives you a bowdlerised version. You get sense of what they are saying from the tone of voice.

Much of the fun comes from the dialogue between the translator and Ryan. They have such different world views, they are constantly misunderstanding each other. He talks about "bull" and she assumed he had switched the topic to livestock.

Certain things did not make sense. How could a weaning baby panda stay alive for many days without any food? How could Ryan Slater manage to carry the bear mile upon mile. It was half as big as he was. Surely he would have to rest every 10 feet or so especially when climbing. Maybe it was just a stuffed toy. What are the odds a watch battery would be the same as one needed for a tracking collar? What are the odds you could remove a watch battery without tools?
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