1/10
Could this be the holy grail of bad "movies"?
28 September 2014
Warning: Spoilers
I am hoping IMDb incorporates negative numbers for ratings because we had our share of really terrible films this year: "Bad Neighbors" and "This is Where I Leave" jump to the front of the list, but this film along with "The Wolf of Wall Street", "American Hustle", and "The Hurt Locker" deserve their own special section, and a rating of one is just much more than they should get.

Where do we begin with this cinematic disaster? For starters, a big budget doesn't guarantee quality or talent. Ed Wood did wonders with nothing. At least he had imagination, and there have been a series of films throughout the last thirty years that have taken hand held cameras and used the talents of their writers and actors to give us some worthy entertainment. What is so sad is to see the waste of resources in films like these. Because that's the obvious part here: There was money to burn, and if anyone got burned it was us because we were led to think there was something worth watching somewhere inside this mess.

First, we have a bunch of utterly talentless people "acting" in front of the camera. There is no way anyone in the audience can believe these people are even playing stupid. They look as lost as the audience because we can't figure out what is going on. If lots of special effects, mostly relegated to flashes of light, and plenty of creaking noises and crashing furniture is supposed to create an atmosphere of doom and darkness, we get hints of it, but after a while it is completely neutered by the abysmal performance and direction. Once in a while we see this furry thing from hell (and we're there, not the characters) jump around, supposedly to frighten us because it is not a regular cat, and he's coming back get them (not soon enough, mind you).

Second, there are some gorgeous sets in here, and I wonder how many of them truly are sets, or it might have been some old, run down mansion that they just decided to use for sets or background. It does look spooky, and sadly, it only makes everything else about the terrible film, sub-zero performances, and missing script look even worse than they are, and they're terrible.

Third, there is nothing wrong with dropping a few curses around, but when every sentence has one, I begin to wonder if the "writers" are even capable of thinking beyond concepts or simple monosyllables. As far as I understood, these people belong to the upper crust of society, and they're so foul mouthed, I was wondering exactly what they're supposed to represent. This is one of the worst problems in the film. No one is worth saving. I was hoping the maid would slash their throats in the first five minutes because if there was any filth here is all of the rich kids who stupidly do everything they can to become targets of "BECKET"!!! All we are given are drug addicts, spoiled brats, foul mouthed sluts, drunks, mentally impaired friends, and who knows what else they were trying to portray. This is a problem since there is no villain we can make any sense of, and there is no one who earns a bit of our support. The first thing they do is mistreat the lawyer and the maid.

In addition to the lack of any talent, comparisons arise from the start. "The Orphanage" pops into mind immediately, and such amazing film becomes even better because the themes of family, destruction, and angry spirits are supposed to be buried somewhere in this horrible collection of wasted resources. Then we have "The Others" and their wonderful portrayal of lost souls, and we can continue with the list of predecessors such "The Legend of Hell House", "The Haunting", and even mini seconds of "The Exorcist", "Alien", and other films that honor the genre.

Unfortunately, this is not the case here, just a frivolous attempt from a group of "performers, film makers, and producers" who found a way to finance a free vacation to some exotic location and left us, feeling cheated, angry, and in worse shape than BECKET!!! Remember, Becket came back and won the battle... just remember. We will up that one and just walk away and leave stranded next time you try to pull another one of these sad projects.
4 out of 16 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink

Recently Viewed