awesomedude256 Review of Kaena: The Prophecy

Kaena: The Prophecy (2003)

I only got 15 minutes in before I couldn't take it anymore

[1/10 · 21 December 2014]

It's like James Cameron did enough peyote to kill a herd of healthy elephants, re-wrote the plot of "Avatar", printed it out, ate the pages, and crapped them out, and the result was this movie. There was no elaborating on how anything happened, or what was going on, and I was more confused than a walrus that fell asleep in Antarctica and somehow woke up in a bathtub in the middle of Mexico city missing a kidney and a one of of his gonads. I couldn't make it past 15 minutes of this movie. The animation was dry and wooden, much like Ron Jeremy's phallus. This movie is the sole reason why me and my entire bloodline are now binge- drinking alcoholics. Anytime I want to kill an erection in 15 seconds or less, I think about watching this movie. To anyone considering watching this movie, I recommend taking a cast iron skillet, and savagely beat yourself with it for an hour and a half, and it would be preferable to 15 minutes of this atrocious nightmare of a film.