Cerberus (2005 TV Movie)
2/10
So, so bad
10 February 2015
This is a really, really terrible Sci Fi Channel movie, a film that's bad even by their diabolical standards. Marketed as some kind of cheapie monster horror, instead this turns out to be a low-rent action adventure (think Indiana Jones with ghoulies) filmed on the cheap in Romania and without a single redeeming value to recommend it.

The film's worthless plot sees an evil North Korean general (aren't they all?) hunting down the fabled sword of Attila the Hun, which will grant all manner of special powers. Unfortunately, Cerberus (the three-headed dog that guards the gates to Hell in Greek mythology) is on the loose, munching his way through various non-entities low down on the cast list.

CERBERUS is a complete failure as a film. 95% of the scenes take place in almost total pitch blackness, so that you can't see the true horror of the dodgy CGI effects. The acting sucks, there are no recognisable cast members, and the script is equally diabolical with no interesting scenes or people and no recognisable beginning, middle or end. Needless to say, I hated this with a vengeance.
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