disneywizard Review of The Road

The Road (III) (2011)

All filler, no killer. Creeping a film along does not a creepy film make.

[1/10 · 14 August 2015]

A top-drawer script can be ruined by a poor director but no amount of top-drawer direction can improve a rotten script - I want my one-hundred-and-ten minutes back from this schmutz used to cover the porn hidden under the socks. This epic-fail is almost better than I could create in a weekend with some teenagers, an outline and a handy-cam with broken steady-shot because if it were well trimmed and tightly cut there would only be enough story to fill a quarter-hour. The plot is… is a decorated rogue cop who…, who…, oh yeah, there's no plot. The open-caption narrative subtitling in English throughout distracts even native Tagalog viewers, because the subtitling delivers the lines better than the actors. Schizophrenic hallucination transference (I must assume,) and the supernatural aren't enough undelivered explanation to fill the Kaybiang Tunnel sized plot-holes in this intentionally confusing yawner best screened in a theater for an air-conditioned nap. It's too easy to fall asleep trying to watch this pablum schlok, but there is no plot to miss should you do, it put the focus-puller to sleep over and over again. Low budget is no excuse for not employing a competent continuity script-girl, but apparently the fuzzy forms which vanish and re-appear among scene cuts and frame edges is. A tip to the viewer resulting from four frustrated attempts at genuinely trying to stay awake and stick with it - I was finally able watch it through to the credits, in fast forward. In FF you'll miss no story because the dialog is built into the open-captions, you'll not miss the easily forgettable laboriously long-drawn-out score and much of the film will return to normal speed. Here's a tip for Yam Laranas - Minutes do not manufacture mystery. Creeping a film along does not a creepy film make. If you're stuck with a thin script of kiddie-pool-shallow characters which is stretched several minutes between lines by vacuously empty repetitive images, don't liberally sprinkle your all-filler/no-killer film with over-crank and slow-motion to substitute for genuine tension or thrilling excitement. We want the killer, not the filler!