I really tried to like this movie. Lord knows I tried. After all, it was broadcast free on a local TV station and the cost of admission was zero. So I endured the animated intro that was completely disjointed from the rest of the film that followed.
I suffered through the obvious clichés of downcast misfits and insufferable moppets who were predictably going to somehow unite and overcome the mean over the top enemy coach. I resisted vomiting with the overdone insinuated affair of the teacher and the sheriff.
I held back severe diarrhea after seeing one too many scenes of the typical "misfits who will win" cliché overweight kid who had visions of ninjas and so forth as he tried to protect the goal. And despite the much expected screwed up drunken dad, and all the soon to be healed by sports parent/kid relationships, I hung in there.
But then when they got to the scene of these insufferable misfit moppets, and soon to be heroes attempting to mow the "big green", with sped up film, only to be followed by the scene of the ever lovable kids and whacked-out parents having a sweet sugar-coated love fest in the mud and rain in slow motion for added effect. That's when I lost it.
It was as if someone had induced diabetes by pouring a 2 pound bag of sugar coated doggie diamonds down my throat. Or more accurately, goat poop. Yes, to add to the whole predictable Disney over-sweetened saccharin sickness of this film, there's a goat mascot... just in case the rest of the film didn't put you in a coma.
Anyway, if you haven't seen this movie, thank God.
I suffered through the obvious clichés of downcast misfits and insufferable moppets who were predictably going to somehow unite and overcome the mean over the top enemy coach. I resisted vomiting with the overdone insinuated affair of the teacher and the sheriff.
I held back severe diarrhea after seeing one too many scenes of the typical "misfits who will win" cliché overweight kid who had visions of ninjas and so forth as he tried to protect the goal. And despite the much expected screwed up drunken dad, and all the soon to be healed by sports parent/kid relationships, I hung in there.
But then when they got to the scene of these insufferable misfit moppets, and soon to be heroes attempting to mow the "big green", with sped up film, only to be followed by the scene of the ever lovable kids and whacked-out parents having a sweet sugar-coated love fest in the mud and rain in slow motion for added effect. That's when I lost it.
It was as if someone had induced diabetes by pouring a 2 pound bag of sugar coated doggie diamonds down my throat. Or more accurately, goat poop. Yes, to add to the whole predictable Disney over-sweetened saccharin sickness of this film, there's a goat mascot... just in case the rest of the film didn't put you in a coma.
Anyway, if you haven't seen this movie, thank God.