So many things were wrong with this movie it's hard to know where to begin.
First, the plot itself makes less than no sense. Basically this reporter chick decides she needs to cover the disappearance of an American backpacker in Poland because "no one else cares". OK, so that's stupid thing number one because, FYI, if you ever disappear in Poland, I can promise you the State Department and the Polish government are going to look for you. But no, Carmen the fearless investigative journalist, is convinced that the missing guy is one of a long line of tourist who have mysteriously disappeared in some obscure Polish village.
So Carmen, super genius that she is, decides she's going to go check it out, even though her boss told her to drop it and assigned her to do a story about honeybees dying off in Oregon. Well,there's another super dumb plot point since the death of bee colonies actually is a real story, just not in the eyes of Carmen apparently.
Next you're supposed to believe that Carmen, not only convinces an intern to accompany her to Poland and lie to their boss about it, but also tricks her photographer boyfriend into coming along without giving him a heads up about what she's doing. Of course, no one from Carmen's company figures out that she and the world's stupidest intern are hopping on planes to Poland, not Oregon. Yeah right, that's super believable...
Naturally, about five minutes after they get to this obscure village things start going south. The boyfriend figures out he's been tricked by Carmen, whose master plan was to write such an amazing story about some random missing backpacker that her boss will forgive her for lying to him, bailing on her real assignment, and misusing company resources.
And how does Carmen plan to bust this whole mystery wide open? Why by ignoring all the adults in the village in favor of pressing the first pre-teen girl she sees for info about what happened to the backpacker because that makes soo much sense! Lucky for Carmen, even though they are in some super rural village in Poland all the kid's magically speak enough English to communicate with her.
Alright, so when everything starts to fall apart there's this whole thing with a perma-fog, a creepy statue in the fog that bleeds and curses people who look at it, as well as a bunch of religious dudes wandering around the village in full regalia looking menacing as they order everyone around. In addition to all that there's a shed in the middle of the forest that's actually an entrance to an underground mausoleum/shrine, a bunch of hackneyed religious symbolism, a whole lot of cheesy rituals, and the obligatory chase scenes in which the three Americans run around trying to escape the angry, seemingly backwards villagers.
Basically, about half-way through this movie you're hoping everyone dies because you just want the whole thing to end. Anywho, to make a long, dumb, boring story somewhat shorter, the villagers are only killing people who get a look at the statue because it turns them into satanic monsters. So, as is so often the case, the evil villagers turn out to be the good guys, protecting the world from damnation one cursed tourist at a time. Though, honestly, even if she hadn't have been possessed by the devil, killing Carmen would have been a service to humanity.
Equally as bad as the absurd and thoroughly unoriginal story line, was the dialog. I'm not sure how they finished filming this without someone screaming "Stop! No one talks like that!". Seriously, this movie had some of the most unnatural sounding dialog I've heard in a long time. For example, there was no way you were forgetting the characters' names because they repeated them in virtually every single line. Yep, nothing says "natural" like being alone with your girlfriend, but still starting each sentence with her name like she would forget who you were talking to if you didn't.
Another major problem were the costume. To say they were cheesy really doesn't begin to do justice to the poor choices whoever dressed the actors made. Half the villagers looked as though they escaped from a Dungeons and Dragons convention, while the other half looked Amish.
I sincerely cannot think of one charitable thing to say about this film. Personally, as a Polish American, I was appalled that they had to drag the country of my ancestors into this disasterpiece. This wasn't even bad enough to be funny, it was just bad all the way around.
First, the plot itself makes less than no sense. Basically this reporter chick decides she needs to cover the disappearance of an American backpacker in Poland because "no one else cares". OK, so that's stupid thing number one because, FYI, if you ever disappear in Poland, I can promise you the State Department and the Polish government are going to look for you. But no, Carmen the fearless investigative journalist, is convinced that the missing guy is one of a long line of tourist who have mysteriously disappeared in some obscure Polish village.
So Carmen, super genius that she is, decides she's going to go check it out, even though her boss told her to drop it and assigned her to do a story about honeybees dying off in Oregon. Well,there's another super dumb plot point since the death of bee colonies actually is a real story, just not in the eyes of Carmen apparently.
Next you're supposed to believe that Carmen, not only convinces an intern to accompany her to Poland and lie to their boss about it, but also tricks her photographer boyfriend into coming along without giving him a heads up about what she's doing. Of course, no one from Carmen's company figures out that she and the world's stupidest intern are hopping on planes to Poland, not Oregon. Yeah right, that's super believable...
Naturally, about five minutes after they get to this obscure village things start going south. The boyfriend figures out he's been tricked by Carmen, whose master plan was to write such an amazing story about some random missing backpacker that her boss will forgive her for lying to him, bailing on her real assignment, and misusing company resources.
And how does Carmen plan to bust this whole mystery wide open? Why by ignoring all the adults in the village in favor of pressing the first pre-teen girl she sees for info about what happened to the backpacker because that makes soo much sense! Lucky for Carmen, even though they are in some super rural village in Poland all the kid's magically speak enough English to communicate with her.
Alright, so when everything starts to fall apart there's this whole thing with a perma-fog, a creepy statue in the fog that bleeds and curses people who look at it, as well as a bunch of religious dudes wandering around the village in full regalia looking menacing as they order everyone around. In addition to all that there's a shed in the middle of the forest that's actually an entrance to an underground mausoleum/shrine, a bunch of hackneyed religious symbolism, a whole lot of cheesy rituals, and the obligatory chase scenes in which the three Americans run around trying to escape the angry, seemingly backwards villagers.
Basically, about half-way through this movie you're hoping everyone dies because you just want the whole thing to end. Anywho, to make a long, dumb, boring story somewhat shorter, the villagers are only killing people who get a look at the statue because it turns them into satanic monsters. So, as is so often the case, the evil villagers turn out to be the good guys, protecting the world from damnation one cursed tourist at a time. Though, honestly, even if she hadn't have been possessed by the devil, killing Carmen would have been a service to humanity.
Equally as bad as the absurd and thoroughly unoriginal story line, was the dialog. I'm not sure how they finished filming this without someone screaming "Stop! No one talks like that!". Seriously, this movie had some of the most unnatural sounding dialog I've heard in a long time. For example, there was no way you were forgetting the characters' names because they repeated them in virtually every single line. Yep, nothing says "natural" like being alone with your girlfriend, but still starting each sentence with her name like she would forget who you were talking to if you didn't.
Another major problem were the costume. To say they were cheesy really doesn't begin to do justice to the poor choices whoever dressed the actors made. Half the villagers looked as though they escaped from a Dungeons and Dragons convention, while the other half looked Amish.
I sincerely cannot think of one charitable thing to say about this film. Personally, as a Polish American, I was appalled that they had to drag the country of my ancestors into this disasterpiece. This wasn't even bad enough to be funny, it was just bad all the way around.