The Big Green (1995)
4/10
weak Disney fare
11 September 2016
Elma, Texas is a small struggling town. Anna Montgomery (Olivia d'Abo) is the new teacher from England. Sheriff Tom Palmer (Steve Guttenberg) is taken with the beautiful newcomer. The kids are bitter and defeated. Anna gets them to play soccer. They are soundly defeated by the reining champs Knights coached by ruthless Jay Huffer. Kate Douglas and Juan Morales are the team's best players. Kate's father is a drunk. Juan is new and his mother is actually an illegal immigrant.

This is weak even for a formulaic Disney family movie. It fails for several reasons. It's not funny. Guttenberg is still trying to be his devil-may-care rascal character but he's finally finished. He's no longer funny. The kids should be the central characters anyways, but they're not. On top of that, the kids playing Kate and Juan are not the most charismatic. The soccer is boring and predictable. There is nothing good although there is nothing offensive either.
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