4/10
Not waving but drowning
13 September 2017
I really wanted to like this movie, from which sprung one of my favourite TV series I loved as a kid in the 60's, but in the end, rather like "M.A.S.H" or "Alice", I find I much prefer the small-screen version.

To me, it just looks like it scoops up three or four plot ideas which might have played out better in individual TV episodes, with the main one I suppose being the submarine's race to fire a missile into a lightning storm which naturally is threatening the world.

Along the way there are clichéd situations a-plenty, like the underwater encounter with a rubbery-looking giant squid, which scene for some reason gets near-repeated close to the end when an equally inanimate giant octopus wraps the sub in a death grip, there's a renegade if lugubrious suicide-bomber on board, a mutiny on the Seaview and an undercover traitor trying to sabotage the rescue mission.

Some of the scenes are unintentionally funny, like when the crew gets thrown from their tables while eating in the canteen as the ship dives to literally the bottom of the sea, reminding me of the guy trying to shave himself in "Airplane" as the plane prepares to crash-land, dinky Barbara Eden runs onto the waterlogged deck in heels and fighting crew- members make-up like best-buddies seconds after knocking seven bells out of each other but maybe the daftest of them all is the religious argument put forward by the bomber to justify his actions. The model work of the submarines, ocean and sea monsters don't exactly convince, while the interior work makes the film feel very studio-bound.

The acting isn't the best either, Walter Pidgeon is no Gregory Peck, who might have made a difference, as Admiral Nelson (seriously!), Peter Lorre looks ill and pained throughout while Joan Fontaine isn't stretched either as a visiting psychologist studying the crew's behaviour. The best you can say about pop star Frankie Avalon's lame performance is that he doesn't sing at any point.

Producer / director Allen's talents reaped greater rewards on television where characterisation and plot depth aren't often important. Here, however, his fortunes take a dive in a film which I'd have to say in the end was sub-standard.
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