"Torn between old camaraderie and recent tensions, three ex-soldiers reunite to explore a deadly cave but soon discover terror beyond all expectations." This is what drew me into watching "Cave" on Netflix. Were I reading this on the back of a DVD box, I'd have just wasted my money. While this isn't what initially angered me about the movie, it was the final straw. What do I mean? I mean that the blurb makes it sound like it's a psychological thriller, a monster movie, or a ghost story. It is none of those things. If you're looking for a monster movie or a psychological thriller, this is not a movie you want to see.
So, let's take a small journey with me to that straw. We'll start with the characters. None of them have a personality. There's the boyfriend who is basically a jerk who wants to sleep with his girlfriend constantly, there's the ex boyfriend whom we know very little about other than he used to date the girlfriend... and the girlfriend who is basically the token moron of the film. I don't remember their names, because it's difficult to remember them, when they don't even act like people with distinct personalities.
The acting itself doesn't really feel like they're acting either. This is likely because they're dubbed, but a lot of the physical actions don't look like realistic representations of people either. I'll get into that a bit more after the spoiler tag.
***Spoilers. Spoilers. Spoilers. Spoilers. Spoilers. Spoilers. Spoilers.*** The entire movie is set-up for the part near the end where... gasp and shock... The ex boyfriend kills the boyfriend so he can be with his ex girlfriend. It's boring. It's predictable. It's forgivable, provided you have 1. Good acting. 2. Solid story. This has neither. They get trapped in the cave, nobody reacts with any sort of panic or survival instinct. Just an all around "meh". They find a tent slashed up with a sleeping bag full of blood and the boyfriend and girlfriend have minor concern about it which is easily swept away by the ex boyfriend. The boyfriend and girlfriend decide to have sex in front of her ex. The boyfriend and ex boyfriend have a very poorly choreographed "headlock fight" by an outhouse, which isn't believable in the slightest. They hint that one of them might have claustrophobia, but nothing is made of it beyond some passing comments of "just relax and keep breathing"... with two of the actors looking bored and impatient with the whole situation. Later, the boyfriend begins drowning and while he doesn't panic, he also doesn't move to look for the surface, and just kind of makes little mouth moving gestures of "I need to breathe", which isn't realistic at all. They spot a drowned driver and you hear a lot of "muffled screaming" under the water from the girlfriend, which makes no sense since she didn't freak out about the sleeping bag covered in blood. The point I turned the movie off was when the boyfriend reaches the surface, takes his breath, says something to the ex boyfriend, and when he turns around... ex boyfriend dunks him under water and then tries choking him at the same time. Boyfriend comes up for air again and immediately asks, "what are you doing?". Uh, lessee, he packed your air, which you ran out of, and now he's trying to push you under the water. You have to be dense not to realize what he's doing. Even worse? He doesn't even fight back. Just accepts his fate.
I guess I would too, to get out of a movie written so terribly. I turned it off at that point. It became too much to bare.
So, let's take a small journey with me to that straw. We'll start with the characters. None of them have a personality. There's the boyfriend who is basically a jerk who wants to sleep with his girlfriend constantly, there's the ex boyfriend whom we know very little about other than he used to date the girlfriend... and the girlfriend who is basically the token moron of the film. I don't remember their names, because it's difficult to remember them, when they don't even act like people with distinct personalities.
The acting itself doesn't really feel like they're acting either. This is likely because they're dubbed, but a lot of the physical actions don't look like realistic representations of people either. I'll get into that a bit more after the spoiler tag.
***Spoilers. Spoilers. Spoilers. Spoilers. Spoilers. Spoilers. Spoilers.*** The entire movie is set-up for the part near the end where... gasp and shock... The ex boyfriend kills the boyfriend so he can be with his ex girlfriend. It's boring. It's predictable. It's forgivable, provided you have 1. Good acting. 2. Solid story. This has neither. They get trapped in the cave, nobody reacts with any sort of panic or survival instinct. Just an all around "meh". They find a tent slashed up with a sleeping bag full of blood and the boyfriend and girlfriend have minor concern about it which is easily swept away by the ex boyfriend. The boyfriend and girlfriend decide to have sex in front of her ex. The boyfriend and ex boyfriend have a very poorly choreographed "headlock fight" by an outhouse, which isn't believable in the slightest. They hint that one of them might have claustrophobia, but nothing is made of it beyond some passing comments of "just relax and keep breathing"... with two of the actors looking bored and impatient with the whole situation. Later, the boyfriend begins drowning and while he doesn't panic, he also doesn't move to look for the surface, and just kind of makes little mouth moving gestures of "I need to breathe", which isn't realistic at all. They spot a drowned driver and you hear a lot of "muffled screaming" under the water from the girlfriend, which makes no sense since she didn't freak out about the sleeping bag covered in blood. The point I turned the movie off was when the boyfriend reaches the surface, takes his breath, says something to the ex boyfriend, and when he turns around... ex boyfriend dunks him under water and then tries choking him at the same time. Boyfriend comes up for air again and immediately asks, "what are you doing?". Uh, lessee, he packed your air, which you ran out of, and now he's trying to push you under the water. You have to be dense not to realize what he's doing. Even worse? He doesn't even fight back. Just accepts his fate.
I guess I would too, to get out of a movie written so terribly. I turned it off at that point. It became too much to bare.