weezeralfalfa Review of Any Old Port!

Any Old Port! (1932)

Beauty and the beast; then Stan and the beast, in the ring

[8/10 · 3 November 2018]

One look at Walter Long in his 50s, and you know who the main villain is going to be. He was scary to look at and listen to, especially in his tough guy mode. Here, he is the villain in 2 contexts .1)Trying to force a young woman(Julie Bishop), who has been acting as his charwoman, probably among other things, into marriage. By her actions, it's clear this is the last thing in the world she would wish to do. Thus, the first 10 min. are mainly devoted to L&H trying to prevent this marriage. Actually, Julie does strike Walter when he tries to kiss her, and she's faster. When he goes outside for a few minutes, she gathers her things, and prepares to leave, but he blocks her way. He locks her in a closet until the parson arrives. When the latter does arrive, Walter tries to unlock the closet. But, Stan grabs the key from him, Ollie joins him, and we begin a game of keep away. This goes on for several minutes, sometimes with them running across the dining table. At one point, they have Walter pinned by the neck between the end leaves of an expandable dining table, but, somehow, he gets loose, and follows them to the kitchen. While Ollie and Walter are chasing, Stan removes the similar key from the back door, and manages to sneak this in as the key they are contesting for. While Walter and Ollie continue to spar, Stan sneaks away and opens the closet. Julie shoots out and out the front door, and we see no more of her.........The second role in which Walter is the chief villain has him in the boxing ring, fighting Stan, if you can imagine that. Of course, Stan cries when he learns who his opponent is. Actually, the fight promoter assumed that Ollie would be in the ring. But, Ollie declared that he was the manager, and Stan the fighter. Actually, Walter's manager is a bigger villain than he, since he loaded Walter's right glove with a number of large bolts. This will comeback to haunt him in a very unexpected way, when Stan manages to pull off his glove, and lose his own glove at the same time. Stan winds up with Walter's glove. When Walter senses this, he starts running around the ring, with Stan chasing him.: quite a comical sight. So, how did Stan avoid being slugged before he acquired Walter's glove? I was very surprised not to see Stan on the canvas at least once. Mainly, he held onto Walter, as he was being swung around, making Walter dizzy. Eventually, Walter would try to pull the loaded grove off Stan. But, it came off too suddenly, and Walter knocked himself out. The ref raised Stan's right arm up. signaling he was the victor. But, when he let go, the glove came down on his head, and he was stretched out on the canvas too. And when Walter's manager told a policeman that Stan used a loaded glove, Stan also accidentally knocked the cop out. He should be in big trouble, but the film ends here.......Unfortunately, Ollie bet on Stan to lose. Thus, they lost most of the money the fight promoter gave them. Now they were back to being broke. See it at YouTube