This movie is a total joke! There is only one scene where there is anything resembling a vampire and not a single person gets bit in the whole movie, except his wife in a dream... most of the movie is just guys talking at a table and telling each other long boring jokes I've already heard a hundred times before. The even tell the same joke twice all the way through! The. Same. Long. Joke. All. The. Way. Through. The scene where the bat flies out of the box of bananas (yes you read that correctly) is funny simply because it is so bad but that doesn't happen until like 45 minutes in and then it's just more talking for the rest of the movie. The sound and lighting quality is terrible so you can't really make out what they're supposed to be saying which is probably good because everything we did understand was just terrible and stupid anyway. We expected it to be awful like this guy's other movies but this isn't even awful in a fun way where you can laugh at it, it is just mind numbing it's so boring and pointless. Scenes where people walk for several minutes pointlessly. A scene where the wife and daughter go to the door, but the door is locked, so they have to walk around to another door... why? Just to get this movie long enough to qualify as being a movie? Last of all is Frank D'Angelo who is responsible for writing and directing and making this garbage, his acting is even worse than all the other mistakes in this. 1 out of 10 and I would gladly give it zero or even a negative number if that was an option. One of the worst things we have ever seen.
Review of Sicilian Vampire
Sicilian Vampire
(2015)
An Actual Real Review - With Very Tiny Spoilers
12 December 2018
Warning: Spoilers