5/10
NO ONE IS COMPLETELY LOST
24 April 2019
Warning: Spoilers
In order to help blur the debate: "Vampires, good or evil?" We now add this film to the mix. Introducing bad Bible plot points, Dracula descends from Abel (who BTW was childless) and is an agent of God. When his love is killed, Dracula renounces God and becomes The Dark Prince, forced to live forever with his tortured soul. This information is given to us prior to the credits with cartoon narration and English subscripts.

The film moves 100 years later (1453+100 years) when everyone in the world speaks modern English and subscripts are no longer needed. Xena, er ah Alina (Kelly Wenham) and her plucky side kick sister Esme (Holly Earl) run into Lucian (Ben Robson) a Robin Hood type of guy who steals their box with a wooden walking stick known as "The Light Bringer." They are trying to deliver this item to Van Helsing (Jon Voight) to be used to kill Dracula and perhaps help Voight with his accent that left much to be desired. What was that? German? Slav? The walking stick (originally used to kill Abel) activates when touched by the blood of a Cain descendent and turns into a powerful killing scythe with a compass in the stock (seriously)...good work Red Ryder the Almighty.

Now in order to be like other successful films, we have a Wrath(Vasilescu Valentin) that looks like the Witch King from LOTR. The party of rescuers are aided by a huge ax wielding viking (Richard Ashton). Sorry, no elves.

The film felt like something Asylum would try if they had a budget. At times it felt like they wanted to make the definitive Dracula epic and at other times I though they were going for B grade cheese. The sets were certainly better than Asylum, but still had that manufactured look to them. The fighting choreography was noticeably bad, especially Jon Voight who I generally like in films.

Oh yes. This is also a love story as Alina resembles Dracula's lost love.

Recommend as a low end rental. Not bad if you want a campy film.

Parental Guide: No f-bombs. Sex and nudity (Kelly Wenham, Biljana Misic, + others)
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