Pinocchio's Christmas (1980 TV Movie)
1/10
This Movie Made Me Experience Physical Pain
20 November 2019
Warning: Spoilers
You know, I was going to write an entire review of this movie because it has given me stress-related nightmares ever since I watched it for the first time one year ago. I want to compare it to other Rankin and Bass stop motion Christmas movies, but you really can't. This was just a bad movie, and I sincerely apologize to those of you who enjoy it because of nostalgia or for whatever reason you might love it. This is a movie targeted towards younger audiences, so I obviously wasn't expecting perfection, but this movie is just lazy and frankly it was unnecessary.

The scene where Pinocchio dreams about teaching toys to dance basically highlights the flaws of the rest of the movie. The song is about as pleasing as metal forks scraping against porcelain dishes for two agonizing minutes. In fact, I would have preferred it. Pinocchio repeats these lyrics over and over and over and over and over and over and over again: "Dancin' Let's go dancin' Dancin' Let's go dancin' Dancin' dancin' dancin' dancin'"

I'm not entirely convinced this song wasn't written in one of hell's mea lockers. It literally gave me a headache. There's no charm, there's no joy, there's no nothing. It's just gearing and it feels like it's never going to end. The rest of the movie isn't any different.
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