2/10
I tried to like it but...
14 April 2020
I'll watch absolutely anything with motorcycles in it, and they always suck badly. Easy Rider, the all-time classic motorcycle movie, was terrible in very way. Even big-budget biker movies like "Hell Ride" are laughably bad. The best thing I can say about this lowest of low budget movies is we can't smell the actors. Some of them even appear to be decomposing on screen. And I use the term "actors" loosely, because there's not a bit of real acting in the entire movie. Most of the characters seem to have been cast for their oddball appearances because they struggle to deliver their lines with any more conviction than you'd see in an elementary school production. And the special effects are below kindergarten level. For "authenticity" they even throw in some "real" outlaw bikers in full gang colors, who look about as intimidating as a group of middle school cheerleaders. Girl cheerleaders.

I got one real laugh out of this cinematic abortion, when one of Marie LeVoux's partially made-up skeleton minions couldn't help but look right at the camera. And it didn't even take away from the movie.

Not even the ailing Mickey Jones (RIP), who makes a pointless cameo, could make a dent in how bad this thing is.
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