Satins and Spurs (1954 TV Movie)
3/10
The greatest show off on earth.
6 June 2020
Warning: Spoilers
The tide has caught up to Betty Hutton with this TV musical that featured one of the worst musical books I've ever encountered either on stage or the small screen. It is a modern-day version of both "Annie Get Your Gun" and "Calamity Jane", yet without the charm or hummable songs, and Betty chews up the scenery so much, you wonder if she had to go off stage to have the Heimlich maneuver. She's a rodeo star in New York who wants to perform at Madison Square Garden, and find complications in a romance with the handsome Kevin McCarthy who was completely out of his element in a musical comedy. It's "The Invasion of the Broadway musical comedy star Snatchers" for him, and a complete calamity for Betty. McCarthy is out to get pictures of hunting to put on the cover of life, but unfortunately, nothing can breathe life into this headache inducing show.

For one thing, no sooner do they finish one song then they have a teeny tiny bit of dialogue and go on to the next one. The songs by Ray Evans and Jay Livingston seemed to be a repeat of Irving Berlin's score for "Annie Get Your Gun" which they already had tried to copy in "Calamity Jane". In fact, Hutton's duet with McCarthy is "Anything You Can Do" meets "I Can do Without You", and frankly I could have done without most of the songs. Betty is raucous one minute, and then trying to emulate Judy Garland in heart-wrenching ballads the next, and it seems that she has trouble sustaining her characterization which in the script practically isn't there anyway. Guy Raymond succeeds the best vocally, but unfortunately, he doesn't really get all that much to do.

It would be interesting to see how much better this was in color, but apparently, 90% of the TV audience (or more) only saw it in black and white. The ensemble tries their best in the dance numbers, but to go from a country and western song to a rock and roll number to a ballet to a military march seems jarring. The kinescope prints are very light and have no detail. This is overwhelmed with too many ideas being rushed at its audience, and it just screams disaster.

Even lesser-known movie musicals of the big screen of the same year ("The Girl Rush", "Ain't Misbehavin'", "Bring Your Smile Along") could be easily forgotten because there were so many of them, but this was overly promoted, and because of that, it has become a legendary failure. I think I'd rather see an Encores production of Broadway flop "Ankles Away" than have to endure this again. Hutton's closing speech to the audience begging for love is really sad, and the overly enthusiastic applause from the audience makes me wonder who stood out on the street to drag people in.
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