The Seventh Day (I) (2021)
4/10
Exorcist buddy film for the ages, ages 10 and younger.....
1 July 2021
Warning: Spoilers
R. L. Stine's Goosebumps with foul language.

Boy plays with ouiga board, summons denizen of hell, boy becomes possessed, kills family, is locked up.

Catholic church sends wearied master exorcist and his trainee-assistant to gather facts of the case and visit boy in jail.

Demon/boy turns invisible in interrogation room, cops rush room and are summarily disemboweled. Demon/boy reappears, runs amok in police station, killing several while lights strobe earily.

Boy's personality remerges with amnesia of his violent acts while exorcists briefly confront their own insecurities and fears before launching into the obligatory, stilted, overwrought, possessed kid restrained on a bed scene.

Pseudo religious mumb-jumbo nonsensicals are spoken.

Boy then manifests badly processed "demon voice" utterances and the battle begins, over the boy's soul and the trainee exocist's ever dominant spanish accent.

My money was on the accent.

What began as an exorcism, morphs into a badly scripted training session with the exocist/instructor gruffly offering encouraging phrases like, "it's up to YOU to fight this, what are you waiting for?", "Finish it, Daniel. You're almost there. You're DOING IT!"

And finish it he does. But not on the boy, ON HIS EXORCIST INSTRUCTOR!!! DUH DUH DUMMMMMM!!!

You could have easily missed the clues to this reveal if you naturally dozed off while watching.(it happens)

But it just keeps on going.....and going.....until the most anticlimactic, predictable showdown scene you've viewed in a while.

After vanquishing the spawn of hell, our trainee hero returns to his middle management exorcist supervisor and is given the files of all the other "trainees" his mentor surely infected with his demotosis (I made that up, it sounded better than demonitis) so that he can ostensibly exorcize those poor souls as well.

Our hero slides into his trusty exor-mobile, furtively glancing into the rearview mirror as if to portend a possible sequel?

Pray that it doesn't.
23 out of 26 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink

Recently Viewed