...no one else will. It's a bizarre film that is disjointed and never comes together. Entirely separate scenes that have nothing to do with each other. And it shows! First, two hit men have to kill a guy for stealing some documents. The hitmen fire their guns, and the intended victim jogs away and for some unknown reason, the hitmen just give up and don't follow him.
He ends up at a church, where he tells one of the monks that he is innocent. The monk goes to visit the guy's girlfriend, but first we have to see a 15-minute scene of a couple dancing. Then a singer does a song for another few minutes. NOTHING to do with the plot. So the monk tells this lady a story about how he became a monk. Via flashback, we learn that the monk used to be a debaucherous, drunken womanizer, and he went on a trip with 5 friends. They got lost and ended up in a castle. They found food and wine and gorged themselves, then danced like drunken fools for 15 minutes of screen time. Then Christopher Lee shows up. He is the master of the castle and he offers the group all his riches if they help him find a mysterious woman on the castle grounds and bury her. They see some women stuck in cobwebs and find secret tunnels. They leave the castle in the morning. Seriously. That was it.
He ends up at a church, where he tells one of the monks that he is innocent. The monk goes to visit the guy's girlfriend, but first we have to see a 15-minute scene of a couple dancing. Then a singer does a song for another few minutes. NOTHING to do with the plot. So the monk tells this lady a story about how he became a monk. Via flashback, we learn that the monk used to be a debaucherous, drunken womanizer, and he went on a trip with 5 friends. They got lost and ended up in a castle. They found food and wine and gorged themselves, then danced like drunken fools for 15 minutes of screen time. Then Christopher Lee shows up. He is the master of the castle and he offers the group all his riches if they help him find a mysterious woman on the castle grounds and bury her. They see some women stuck in cobwebs and find secret tunnels. They leave the castle in the morning. Seriously. That was it.