Wonder Bar (1934)
1/10
Hi-de Hi-de Hi-de NO!
18 October 2021
Warning: Spoilers
First - please understand that I was lucky enough to have grown-up in NYC in the early 1970s when Theater 80 St. Mark's in the East Village screened a different double-bill of movies from the 1930s/1940s every day of the week! They were usually thematically related, even if somewhat tenuously: "Dinner at Eight" and "The Women"; "Dark Victory" and "All About Eve". And, of course, the unforgettable Busby Berkeley musicals, but "Wonder Bar" was never on the programme.

Unlike the Berkeley greats (all of which I own on DVD), there is not one memorable song (one need only think of "Shuffle Off to Buffalo", "Shanghai Lil", "We're in the Money" memorably sung in Pig-Latin by Ginger Rogers, and so many others).

The two big Berkeley numbers are short on his usual extravagances (which reached their psychedelic height in "The Gang's All Here") - while there is one brief trademark overhead kaleidoscopic moment, the use of mirrors and special effects dominate more than the choreography or those mind-boggling Art Deco sets or some visual gimmick like dozens of chorines built into harps. And a morose Dolores del Rio is no Ruby Keeler!

There is not one even vaguely likeable character, except perhaps for an underused Dick Powell. The pathetic, middle-aged stereotypical American couples used for comic relief are disgusting and unwatchable. Every character is involved with infidelity, grand theft, murder, abetting criminals, mental and physical cruelty (the whip-cracking in the "Gaucho Dance" is pure sadomasochism), or some other major character flaw which has no place in a Depression Era escapist musical. It is simply devoid of humour.

And then we have Jolson, perhaps the most annoying presence to ever be put on celluloid. Bug-eyed and flapping his arms like a diseased bird, cracking bad jokes at everyone, it is impossible to think he was such a big star. His very personal style of crooning is literally unlistenable.

What passes for plot includes Jolson abetting a murderess (after whom he lusts) by disposing of the body of her lover who's jilter her by placing the corpse in the back seat of the car of a financially-ruined investor who clearly states he intends to commit suicide from his first moment onscreen. Initially, there is concern over his condition until it becomes all too easy to let him drive off a cliff with a body in the back seat to hide the crime. Jolson doesn't even get the girl; he goes home alone.

Now it's time for the elephant in the nightclub: "Goin' to Heaven on a Mule".

This is obviously the reason Warner Bros. Deleted this title from its Warner Classics DVD-R series, and makes a case for destroying all existing prints of this abomination.

No, it doesn't even stand as an "historical curiosity" and no amount of advance commentary (i.e. Making excuses for the depiction of slavery added to broadcasts and DVDs of "Gone with the Wind") can justify Jolson's hideously grotesque make-up, performance, or the song itself, ALL of which are filled with the most heinous racial stereotypes. When he gets to "heaven" he is treated to fried chicken and watermelon, and gets to roll some dice.

I can't believe I am writing this sentence, but a giant watermelon splits into sections (redolent of the bananas in "The Lady in the Tutti-Frutti Hat" in "The Gang's All Here") revealing a jiggling tap-dancer.

Did I mention he's in blackface? Did I mention that the entire cast of dancers and extras (including small children) are in shoe-polish blackface with clown-like white lips?

How can anyone watch this in the 21st century?

With nothing to balance the unrelenting crudeness of this movie - not one memorable or entertaining moment to offset its myriad flaws - there is simply no reason for it to exist.

It needs to be, in the very least, locked-up in a vault and shown strictly for historical purposes, or simply destroyed.
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