I won't waste too much time with this one. If you've had the misfortune to watch the recent movie "The Green Knight" then be prepared for more of the same pseudo art-house nonsense here.
Coming from "visionary" director Robert Eggers (if you ask me, he's had one too many "visions") this is a dull, tedious slog. Now, as my title suggests, it seems inconceivable (yes I do know what that word means!) that putting vikings and a tale of vengeance together could be such a dud, but here it is.
The Northman manages to take a story that should easily fit in the old 90 minute movie bracket and pad it out to nearly two and a quarter hours. The padding comes in the form of trippy daydreams/hallucinations by the main character as he suffers to satisfy his vengeance. Yeah, you'll want to skip those if you can.
I've only given this as many points as I have because at least there was a small twist in the story, albeit a blindingly obvious one to do with the "hero's" mother. That, and the ending which...lets just say it isn't surprising given the story. That lack of surprise ending will still leave you with that sinking feeling. A feeling that you've just wasted two hours of your life on what amounts to an episode of Vikings that was discarded in the writer's room.
SUMMARY: Going to Iceland (the store) is less tedious and frustrating than going to Iceland (the place) in this movie. Too much "visionary" and not enough "entertaining" in this one. Skip it, watch Vikings again, or Conan, or 13th Warrior or Outlander (2008). All are much, much more fun.
Coming from "visionary" director Robert Eggers (if you ask me, he's had one too many "visions") this is a dull, tedious slog. Now, as my title suggests, it seems inconceivable (yes I do know what that word means!) that putting vikings and a tale of vengeance together could be such a dud, but here it is.
The Northman manages to take a story that should easily fit in the old 90 minute movie bracket and pad it out to nearly two and a quarter hours. The padding comes in the form of trippy daydreams/hallucinations by the main character as he suffers to satisfy his vengeance. Yeah, you'll want to skip those if you can.
I've only given this as many points as I have because at least there was a small twist in the story, albeit a blindingly obvious one to do with the "hero's" mother. That, and the ending which...lets just say it isn't surprising given the story. That lack of surprise ending will still leave you with that sinking feeling. A feeling that you've just wasted two hours of your life on what amounts to an episode of Vikings that was discarded in the writer's room.
SUMMARY: Going to Iceland (the store) is less tedious and frustrating than going to Iceland (the place) in this movie. Too much "visionary" and not enough "entertaining" in this one. Skip it, watch Vikings again, or Conan, or 13th Warrior or Outlander (2008). All are much, much more fun.