3/10
Hell hath no fu(r)ry like a cat pushed aside like hellkitty litter.
10 July 2022
Warning: Spoilers
Life ain't a chocolate malt with a cherry on top. Life is rough for hormonal teenagers. If it ain't the parents giving grief, it's the kids pushing you around until you get frazzled and yell something drastic like, "Look heeere," or "get bent!"

Joyce is a good girl. She's got enough class to fill a school. But her dear old dad is quick to lay down the law and he's occasionally slap happy. Mom, on the other hand is a bit more "psychological." That's the dad's word, not mine. The truth is that they both have their sensitive sides. Dad's is just a little stiffer.

When Joyce enters a new school, she encounters Connie and her Hellcats. Think the Pink Ladies from Grease (1978) only more switchblades. Right away, Connie gives Joyce the slacker test. I mean, the slacks test. You see wearing slacks is against the rules, but Joyce doesn't know that. If it sounds underwhelming, that's only because it is.

Cool cat Connie has got the school in the palm of her ...paw. She has so much sway over the other girls that they laugh at her mediocre jokes.

"Take your seats, students." "Where would you like us to take 'em teach?" !! Zing!!

You might as well call her Con Corleone. Because she's bossy. But unlike the Godfather, Connie may not make it past sweet sixteen.

These cats have claws and this is illustrated most dramatically by the angsty Dolly. She's got a glare and a brooding face that could burn a hole through a hot rod. When Connie suggests to Joyce that she could be her new number 2, it pleases Dolly none too much. Sure enough, Connie takes a long fall down a short staircase and it's more than a little likely that it was the jealous jezzacat, Dollface who did the assassinating.

Similar to The Violent Years (1956), Hellcats is about the SINsationalism of teenage girls gone haywire. But in The Violent Years, the girls pack heat and won't go down without a fight. The Hellcats aren't any tamer but they are more vulnerable.

"The joint's jumpin'," says Connie to her boy toy as they enter a house party. Jumpin' indeed! The house is hopping, the hunks are horny, the guys are grabby and the boys are bad. What I mean is that when the lights go out, the boys start gleefully molesting the girls as if it's just a gag. Still, the impression of sexual assault is pretty strong. I suppose we can brush it off as archaic antics and give the tired refrain, "it was a different time."

Not all the guys are predatory though. There's Joyce's new squeeze Mike and he's a semi-square soda jerk ...or is he a Diner dud ...or a malt-maker? I don't know what they called his profession back in the 50s, but he's a charming chap. He's got the hots for the Hellcat heroine and she thinks he's just swell.

Step inside the teenage terror dome. Just don't get fixed like a flunkie.
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