5/10
Disappointingly uneven & unfunny; potential unrealized
29 August 2022
While filmmaker Armen Evrensel doesn't have a lot of experience under their belt, this is no specific indicator of quality. There's a solid small cast assembled here, the production design and art direction immediately impress, and the practical effects and post-production visual effects look terrific. Above all, the premise seems primed to serve up a delightful farce. It's regrettable, then, that that 'Space milkshake' immediately comes across as having especial difficulty as it tries to find the right tone or stick the landing with its humor. The screenplay too often reaches for very low-hanging fruit: the declination of Captain Anton to put on pants, or his overly abrasive and confrontational personality; the verbal abuse and micromanagement of new crew member Jimmy; very tired, uninspired, and/or sometimes juvenile dialogue and scene writing. The movie also works overtime to build its mystery and a vague air of suspense, but without giving much direction to that element of the storytelling - until, at almost exactly the halfway point, the exposition dump is so overloaded as to threaten our suspension of disbelief. Meanwhile, I've had a hard time getting a firm shake on the performances: sometimes the acting seems exactly on-point, while at other times it seems either overdone or underwhelming; the characters, scene writing, and dialogue that inform the actors' portrayals tend to vary in the same pattern, and I don't know how much of the variance in the performances is a result of the direction, or of the writing.

This is a very mixed bag.

There are good ideas here; it could have been a well-constructed sci-fi comedy romp. Instead it sadly feels too much like Evrensel threw ideas at a wall, and rather than judiciously picking and choosing or organizing he just slapped them all in. As a result the narrative and scene writing becomes specious, and spread too thin, and humor just kind of falls flat. 'Space milkshake' looks and sounds good on a fundamental level, including elements like costume design, hair and makeup work, and set design, and also music and sound effects. Unfortunately, I don't know how much these matter when the feature is so uneven and imbalanced in its storytelling that it fails to provide a meaningful spark of entertainment. I don't actively dislike it, but I also can't quite bring myself to say that I like it; in failing to elicit any major reaction at all, the picture becomes a bit boring. And is there anything worse for a movie to be?

I love the concept, the cast is splendid, and the contributions of those behind the scenes are commendable. Yet the narrative feels overfull, the pacing is rushed, and few if any story beats are approached with particularly mindful care. For as much potential as one may discern as the title begins, the quality of the finished product is scattershot, and it's never truly funny as it could have been. Incredibly, it seems like it's only in the last 15 minutes that the picture is really firing on all cylinders; I suppose it's worth something that it at least ends strong. Honestly, I'm pretty disappointed: 'Space milkshake' could have been a joyful farce, but what we get is just kind of overall bland, with only fleeting tinges of the value we should have gotten all along.

There are far worse ways to spend your time; it's passable, and most recommendable if you're a big fan of someone in the cast. I very much wish I could say that I like it more than I do, yet I'd rather hate a movie than be altogether nonplussed by it, and 'Space milkshake' very much struggles to deliver on its promise. Worth checking out if you come across it, but keep your expectations in check. Best of luck to Evrensel in the future.
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