The opening score has an 'Empire Strikes Back,' with a pinch of the 'Exorcist,' about it.
Inspector Gadget arrives at the Myers house as leaves fall on this house but not across the road.
With no search warrant, Gadget and Rick Astley, enter the premise under the impression that nothing occurred here a day ago.
They're just a couple of busybodies who are not dressed like cops.
A pillow fight ensues as Bull Hurley's mother steps out of the shadows and smacks David Caruso around.
Like Castlevania 2, some dirt bag is placing Dracula's bones around town so Gadget and Astley seek the services of former psychic turned slob - Crazy Fat Ethel.
She sits around contemplating the proposal while sniffing dead baby bibs - say that three times fast - and fantasizes about dead children. Which is perverse in itself.
Looks like Ten Ton Tess is the star of this movie?
Matlock, dressed like Columbo, and Ethel Mormon waste 20-minutes of this film in a lobby trying to showcase archaic acting skills, learnt from the 40's, which doesn't gel with this late 80's/early 90's production. It's like they're trying to outdo each other and thinking their importance is better and more important than the storyline, which this movie lacks. Neither is funny and it's pathetic watching and hearing their lines fall flat. (They both must have been stars from some robotic 'McHale's Navy-type' baloney from back in the day?)
If this is trying to be humorous, with light comedy, I'm not laughing.
I think what they were going for, with this lame attempt, was something similar to 'The Return of The Living Dead' and that kind of slapstick dumb humor?
Trapped inside a morgue, a handful of unfunny actors, try their best to be funny as three dead zombie children, and an Iron Maiden record cover beast, trounce around the place mixing comedy & horror, which hasn't sat well with me from day one.
The problem with this crap is that everybody has been miscast. Why would the lead actress resemble John Candy in drag?
It's like there's some missing link in this crap as there's no storyline. Did they forget to film a certain scene at the start, which confuses the viewer as a result? It's a muddled mess. One has to decipher for themselves what the weak storyline is. Did I read the play right that there's some Japanese link about a voodoo ritual and um, a gambling Asian man who done his entire children's trust fund in one fell swoop at the sportsbook in Vegas? And now the children are back from the grave as a consequence of their father's action and seek compensation? Um.
At the end some big poodle morphs into a giant and it looks like my dead Nana.
After blowing the giant dog's head off with a pipe bomb everyone breathes hard like they've reached orgasm that they've killed a mammoth dog and it's satisfying.
Talk about a big boss.
I'll give this movie 2/10.
1 point for the comfortable inviting start which set the mood. But unfortunately, after that scene it went off the rail and the rest of the movie was camped inside this one building which stifled what could have been.
2 points for the big dog which was different but short-lived. It had potential but didn't really do anything. (Same as the Iron Maiden 'House' monster that just stood there and achieved little.)
It's unusual that back in the 80's this movie worked but today, in 2022, it doesn't.
Inspector Gadget arrives at the Myers house as leaves fall on this house but not across the road.
With no search warrant, Gadget and Rick Astley, enter the premise under the impression that nothing occurred here a day ago.
They're just a couple of busybodies who are not dressed like cops.
A pillow fight ensues as Bull Hurley's mother steps out of the shadows and smacks David Caruso around.
Like Castlevania 2, some dirt bag is placing Dracula's bones around town so Gadget and Astley seek the services of former psychic turned slob - Crazy Fat Ethel.
She sits around contemplating the proposal while sniffing dead baby bibs - say that three times fast - and fantasizes about dead children. Which is perverse in itself.
Looks like Ten Ton Tess is the star of this movie?
Matlock, dressed like Columbo, and Ethel Mormon waste 20-minutes of this film in a lobby trying to showcase archaic acting skills, learnt from the 40's, which doesn't gel with this late 80's/early 90's production. It's like they're trying to outdo each other and thinking their importance is better and more important than the storyline, which this movie lacks. Neither is funny and it's pathetic watching and hearing their lines fall flat. (They both must have been stars from some robotic 'McHale's Navy-type' baloney from back in the day?)
If this is trying to be humorous, with light comedy, I'm not laughing.
I think what they were going for, with this lame attempt, was something similar to 'The Return of The Living Dead' and that kind of slapstick dumb humor?
Trapped inside a morgue, a handful of unfunny actors, try their best to be funny as three dead zombie children, and an Iron Maiden record cover beast, trounce around the place mixing comedy & horror, which hasn't sat well with me from day one.
The problem with this crap is that everybody has been miscast. Why would the lead actress resemble John Candy in drag?
It's like there's some missing link in this crap as there's no storyline. Did they forget to film a certain scene at the start, which confuses the viewer as a result? It's a muddled mess. One has to decipher for themselves what the weak storyline is. Did I read the play right that there's some Japanese link about a voodoo ritual and um, a gambling Asian man who done his entire children's trust fund in one fell swoop at the sportsbook in Vegas? And now the children are back from the grave as a consequence of their father's action and seek compensation? Um.
At the end some big poodle morphs into a giant and it looks like my dead Nana.
After blowing the giant dog's head off with a pipe bomb everyone breathes hard like they've reached orgasm that they've killed a mammoth dog and it's satisfying.
Talk about a big boss.
I'll give this movie 2/10.
1 point for the comfortable inviting start which set the mood. But unfortunately, after that scene it went off the rail and the rest of the movie was camped inside this one building which stifled what could have been.
2 points for the big dog which was different but short-lived. It had potential but didn't really do anything. (Same as the Iron Maiden 'House' monster that just stood there and achieved little.)
It's unusual that back in the 80's this movie worked but today, in 2022, it doesn't.