A "Payless" DVD brings you 'Alien Intruder,' which I bought in a goodwill store for only $1:50. (What's that saying?)
It's got what looks like that guy who sang Ghostbusters in it and some other star called Maxwell Caulfield from that classic movie he was famous for. Yeah, you know the one? That one.
What have we got here? What looks like Bill Paxton going berserk with a virtual laser gun in a Lowe's warehouse factory.
They're playing some skirmish-type paintball game and running around like 7th graders having fun.
Michael Myers, from 'Halloween 5-Ply,' goes up in flames.
What, are we on the set of 'Creepozoids' again?
A childish voice informs the viewer, "You're getting warmer, Doc." "Red hot, Doc." "Where'd you learn to shoot, Doc? They ought to give you your money back." These lines are delivered right out of that 'Pocket Ninjas' garbage I watched the other night.
Move over 'Aliens' because 'Alien Intruder' has arrived!
How my movie collection loves to punish me.
Apparently, it's the year 2022 and we're on New Alcatraz assembling a special forces team - of criminals - to participate in a hot op mission on another planet to retrieve a Playboy Bunny. That's it apparently?
The "Bishop" in this gem is a Positronic Androi Model 4. (Can't wait to lay eyes on that thing.)
I bet that back in the 80's this VHS would have been one of those $1 for a week rentals.
Movie steals 'Aliens' cryogenic sleeping pods. Also steals its race against the clock countdown at the end as well. Tries to emulate its corridors & chambers. It's a poor man's 'Aliens.'
A space movie that's set in the wild west then skips to some 50's bikers vandalizing a convenience store in the country? I need a compass to help me navigate my way out of this one and that pink spaceship looks like a wavy piece of bacon suspended in time.
This "Sci-fi" movie makes you use all four portions of your brain and the 'Star Wars Halloween Special' has some competition whether it likes it, or not.
Look, this movie has already taken hold of me and infected my thinking - we only have three pieces of brain, not four. I've been exposed as stupid and uneducated now. My mind's been corrupted by 'Alien Intruder's' Playboy Bunny, as she appears out of nowhere for no reason and turns everyone against each other. (We're probably born with four portions of brain but after you become a victim of 'Alien Intruder' you get stripped of a quarter.)
A lame joke will have you NOT laughing in this movie, trust me. I got a joke to tell too, movie, try this on for size! How many country & western singers does it take to change a lightbulb? Eleven! One to change the lightbulb and ten to sing about how great the old one was.
I bet all parties involved in 'Blade Runner' were extremely envious of this movie's success and direction. If Only all scientific space movies were like this.
Hoss Cartwright has a showdown with Mad Dog Hodder.
The baddy from Linda Blair's 'Savage Streets' shows up and he's still like, "I'm gonna get ya, Brenda." He's set on fire and ejected into the air like a catapult projectile while on fire. This scene probably warrants the whole point I'll award this movie.
The movie's so directionless that the Ghostbusters singer starts crying and turns to the bottle.
The cojoined pink bacon rasher spaceship in this looks like two hotdogs that have been sitting in a rotisserie for a week.
My eyes ain't as sharp as they used to be so I have to ask - is that Tommy Wiseau?
And I'm guessing the budget on this would have bought a crate of Cracker Jack mix?
Hoss goes to war with the Ghostbusters singer over Pat Benatar and Tommy Wiseau starts singing, "I'm in love with the other woman." Is this going to go very long? I got other things to do. There's a bad case of cobwebs under the laundry cupboard that need tending to. I don't want them expanding any further and creating a franchise.
One can only pray that this movie self-destructs in 3-minutes.
Wait a minute! Wasn't there an evil Samantha in 'Bewitched?' Is that her and not Benatar?
The pink block of bacon is blown to bits at the end and I didn't see any frigging Panasonic Androi Model 4 character in this movie anywhere.
It's got what looks like that guy who sang Ghostbusters in it and some other star called Maxwell Caulfield from that classic movie he was famous for. Yeah, you know the one? That one.
What have we got here? What looks like Bill Paxton going berserk with a virtual laser gun in a Lowe's warehouse factory.
They're playing some skirmish-type paintball game and running around like 7th graders having fun.
Michael Myers, from 'Halloween 5-Ply,' goes up in flames.
What, are we on the set of 'Creepozoids' again?
A childish voice informs the viewer, "You're getting warmer, Doc." "Red hot, Doc." "Where'd you learn to shoot, Doc? They ought to give you your money back." These lines are delivered right out of that 'Pocket Ninjas' garbage I watched the other night.
Move over 'Aliens' because 'Alien Intruder' has arrived!
How my movie collection loves to punish me.
Apparently, it's the year 2022 and we're on New Alcatraz assembling a special forces team - of criminals - to participate in a hot op mission on another planet to retrieve a Playboy Bunny. That's it apparently?
The "Bishop" in this gem is a Positronic Androi Model 4. (Can't wait to lay eyes on that thing.)
I bet that back in the 80's this VHS would have been one of those $1 for a week rentals.
Movie steals 'Aliens' cryogenic sleeping pods. Also steals its race against the clock countdown at the end as well. Tries to emulate its corridors & chambers. It's a poor man's 'Aliens.'
A space movie that's set in the wild west then skips to some 50's bikers vandalizing a convenience store in the country? I need a compass to help me navigate my way out of this one and that pink spaceship looks like a wavy piece of bacon suspended in time.
This "Sci-fi" movie makes you use all four portions of your brain and the 'Star Wars Halloween Special' has some competition whether it likes it, or not.
Look, this movie has already taken hold of me and infected my thinking - we only have three pieces of brain, not four. I've been exposed as stupid and uneducated now. My mind's been corrupted by 'Alien Intruder's' Playboy Bunny, as she appears out of nowhere for no reason and turns everyone against each other. (We're probably born with four portions of brain but after you become a victim of 'Alien Intruder' you get stripped of a quarter.)
A lame joke will have you NOT laughing in this movie, trust me. I got a joke to tell too, movie, try this on for size! How many country & western singers does it take to change a lightbulb? Eleven! One to change the lightbulb and ten to sing about how great the old one was.
I bet all parties involved in 'Blade Runner' were extremely envious of this movie's success and direction. If Only all scientific space movies were like this.
Hoss Cartwright has a showdown with Mad Dog Hodder.
The baddy from Linda Blair's 'Savage Streets' shows up and he's still like, "I'm gonna get ya, Brenda." He's set on fire and ejected into the air like a catapult projectile while on fire. This scene probably warrants the whole point I'll award this movie.
The movie's so directionless that the Ghostbusters singer starts crying and turns to the bottle.
The cojoined pink bacon rasher spaceship in this looks like two hotdogs that have been sitting in a rotisserie for a week.
My eyes ain't as sharp as they used to be so I have to ask - is that Tommy Wiseau?
And I'm guessing the budget on this would have bought a crate of Cracker Jack mix?
Hoss goes to war with the Ghostbusters singer over Pat Benatar and Tommy Wiseau starts singing, "I'm in love with the other woman." Is this going to go very long? I got other things to do. There's a bad case of cobwebs under the laundry cupboard that need tending to. I don't want them expanding any further and creating a franchise.
One can only pray that this movie self-destructs in 3-minutes.
Wait a minute! Wasn't there an evil Samantha in 'Bewitched?' Is that her and not Benatar?
The pink block of bacon is blown to bits at the end and I didn't see any frigging Panasonic Androi Model 4 character in this movie anywhere.