'Brain Twisters.'
What a stellar cast of actors they've assembled for this gem.
Written and directed by Jerry Sangiullano. His poor wife, Dianne, is the producer. Meaning, she had to finance her husband's pet project. All class, guy. (I wonder if she got a return on her investment?)
The budget for this movie is so cheap they wanted to use the song "Born to Be Wild" in the opening scene but had to settle for this inferior version done by a midday TV band.
A country club, polo wearing, unknown is driving his new sports car out in the woods and strikes down what looks like Cameron Diaz.
We're then transported to a 'Pocket Ninjas' virtual reality world as Dr Nobody presses buttons and subjects "Yvonne" to 8-bit Japanese manga eye torture.
What's this called again? 'Brain Twisters.' Well, start brain twisting, or something as nothing's doing to report.
Due to a weight issue, some plump teddy bear girl hangs herself. Why? I haven't the slightest. I guess a poltergeist was responsible?
I don't know what to report other than Dr Nobody looking a little Neil Diamond-ish at certain angles. And he's our main actor. Get a load of his vocals. He's about as excited to be in this movie as I am about watching it.
Listen to him execute his lines with such droll enthusiasm. It's like a slur meets a stutter in slow motion. (I've heard this same monotone in the movie 'Planes, Trains & Automobiles.')
This insecure kid, the one crossed between Justin Timberlake and Ryan Phillippe, is instructed by a pinball machine to commit suicide, so he jumps out a window face first. (It's not like he was six stories up. I doubt one would fatally expire from that distance he jumped from.)
No one's showing any enthusiasm about being in this movie. It's like they get up at 3pm, arrived on set two hours later and look forward to knocking off at 5pm.
This scene with the pickled head in brine shows some promise. Look at the expression on the kid's face in the bottle. (It's like he died from watching the worst movie in history - 'After Last Season.'
Come on everyone - look alive! Show some spirit. Can they be any slower? You did want to be in this movie, didn't you? The head in the bottle looked more excited than anyone else!
If I'm following correctly, I think Dr Nobody is trying to emulate Colonel Cochran's robot program and controlling test subject's thoughts.
A court order battle ensues over the decapitated head like a tennis match. Where they're going with this probably won't have any bearing on the outcome.
Dr Nobody hooks a prostitute up to a Commodore 64 and runs DOS floppy disc programs on her like she's a lab rat and then implants a Silver Shamrock chip in her brain and reprograms her to kill for him. (She's a human version of IG-11.)
The pinball noises cause the microchipped test subject to flip her lid, or the script.
This movie's slower than a ten-speed bike in the slowest gear.
The pinball noise influences the test subject to assassinate two Halloween party goers for no reason.
Dr Nobody hits on a flaming hot bird in a night club - she's a 9 - then glasses a bouncer with about as much gusto as an octogenarian.
"Rats aren't people," Exclaims Dr Nobody. I beg your pardon! Yes, they are, sir!
I think because how stiff everybody is in this movie it leads me to believe they're all by-products of the Silver Shamrock factory and are under order from a higher source.
No one makes an effort in this movie. Get a load of this scene. "I want to apologize for throwing that macaroni at you." Um, it was spaghetti, lady, not macaroni. Oh brother!
My pulse just skipped a beat. By the end of this movie, I'll probably be code blue. This movie is placing me in great jeopardy concerning my health. For some reason I'm a high-risk candidate susceptible to stupidity. Wonder what that is?
This movie's the embodiment of catastrophe. And all that it wants for Christmas is an apocalypse and global meltdown.
My brain's stupid.
A professor at a college, who speaks slower than gear one, covertly works for a computer game company who experiment on human test rats to develop virtual reality games which possesses the player's brain and corrupts them into becoming killing machines if they clock the game and save the princess.
I died on this day in November of 2022 of natural movie causes.
BLLG AKA McGree.
1975-2022.
RIP.
Written and directed by Jerry Sangiullano. His poor wife, Dianne, is the producer. Meaning, she had to finance her husband's pet project. All class, guy. (I wonder if she got a return on her investment?)
The budget for this movie is so cheap they wanted to use the song "Born to Be Wild" in the opening scene but had to settle for this inferior version done by a midday TV band.
A country club, polo wearing, unknown is driving his new sports car out in the woods and strikes down what looks like Cameron Diaz.
We're then transported to a 'Pocket Ninjas' virtual reality world as Dr Nobody presses buttons and subjects "Yvonne" to 8-bit Japanese manga eye torture.
What's this called again? 'Brain Twisters.' Well, start brain twisting, or something as nothing's doing to report.
Due to a weight issue, some plump teddy bear girl hangs herself. Why? I haven't the slightest. I guess a poltergeist was responsible?
I don't know what to report other than Dr Nobody looking a little Neil Diamond-ish at certain angles. And he's our main actor. Get a load of his vocals. He's about as excited to be in this movie as I am about watching it.
Listen to him execute his lines with such droll enthusiasm. It's like a slur meets a stutter in slow motion. (I've heard this same monotone in the movie 'Planes, Trains & Automobiles.')
This insecure kid, the one crossed between Justin Timberlake and Ryan Phillippe, is instructed by a pinball machine to commit suicide, so he jumps out a window face first. (It's not like he was six stories up. I doubt one would fatally expire from that distance he jumped from.)
No one's showing any enthusiasm about being in this movie. It's like they get up at 3pm, arrived on set two hours later and look forward to knocking off at 5pm.
This scene with the pickled head in brine shows some promise. Look at the expression on the kid's face in the bottle. (It's like he died from watching the worst movie in history - 'After Last Season.'
Come on everyone - look alive! Show some spirit. Can they be any slower? You did want to be in this movie, didn't you? The head in the bottle looked more excited than anyone else!
If I'm following correctly, I think Dr Nobody is trying to emulate Colonel Cochran's robot program and controlling test subject's thoughts.
A court order battle ensues over the decapitated head like a tennis match. Where they're going with this probably won't have any bearing on the outcome.
Dr Nobody hooks a prostitute up to a Commodore 64 and runs DOS floppy disc programs on her like she's a lab rat and then implants a Silver Shamrock chip in her brain and reprograms her to kill for him. (She's a human version of IG-11.)
The pinball noises cause the microchipped test subject to flip her lid, or the script.
This movie's slower than a ten-speed bike in the slowest gear.
The pinball noise influences the test subject to assassinate two Halloween party goers for no reason.
Dr Nobody hits on a flaming hot bird in a night club - she's a 9 - then glasses a bouncer with about as much gusto as an octogenarian.
"Rats aren't people," Exclaims Dr Nobody. I beg your pardon! Yes, they are, sir!
I think because how stiff everybody is in this movie it leads me to believe they're all by-products of the Silver Shamrock factory and are under order from a higher source.
No one makes an effort in this movie. Get a load of this scene. "I want to apologize for throwing that macaroni at you." Um, it was spaghetti, lady, not macaroni. Oh brother!
My pulse just skipped a beat. By the end of this movie, I'll probably be code blue. This movie is placing me in great jeopardy concerning my health. For some reason I'm a high-risk candidate susceptible to stupidity. Wonder what that is?
This movie's the embodiment of catastrophe. And all that it wants for Christmas is an apocalypse and global meltdown.
My brain's stupid.
A professor at a college, who speaks slower than gear one, covertly works for a computer game company who experiment on human test rats to develop virtual reality games which possesses the player's brain and corrupts them into becoming killing machines if they clock the game and save the princess.
I died on this day in November of 2022 of natural movie causes.
BLLG AKA McGree.
1975-2022.
RIP.