3/10
A new dimension to 'phoning it in'
1 June 2023
In recent years, we're seeing more and more of what is generally referred to as 'geezer teasers'. Stars who are very much past their prime can be hired for one or two days to get the most rudimentary shots, then everyone else finishes the movie using voice-overs and unconvincing body doubles. Nicolas Cage, Bruce Willis and John Travolta are repeat offenders, but Seagal certainly takes the cake (in more ways than one). "Sniper Special Ops" is another one of his bizarre cut-and-paste movies.

I've got to say this movie almost feels like outsider art. For obvious reasons I wasn't really paying attention anymore by the end, but I'm pretty sure Seagal is never in the same shot with any other actor. He's almost like a plug-in effect, they just use whatever footage they have of his face and splice it in randomly without any rhyme or reason. It feels like how Ed Wood 'shot around' Bela Lugosi in "Plan 9 From Outer Space". When I can comfortably make that comparison, your movie may not be very good.

Seagal sits on a chair for most of his screentime here, waiting to be rescued by actors with a much smaller paycheck. Tim Abell is the actual main actor and he's pretty good, but it's tough to get past the obvious bait and switch operation. Hell, the box even boasts an appearence by 'Van Dam'! A minor character is played by an actor named Rob Van Dam, so why not cater to the all-important demographic of confused people at truck stops. It's all rather shameless, even to writer/director Fred Olen Ray's questionable standards.

Most of the movie is rather boring, but it does give us some delightful cheesy moments. Seagal shoots his sniper rifle is the laziest possible way, completely impervious to any recoil. At one point he has to drag away some dude and can't be bothered to do that. Instead, this guy is clearly on some kind of wire. Seagal is absolutely huge, how much effort would this take? The best moment comes near the end though, in the only scene where Seagal takes of his sunglasses (not a joke). It's the saddest attempt at a cool moment I've ever seen in a movie, though I am very relieved it did not lead to a sex scene. "Sniper Special Ops" is the worst Seagal movie I've ever seen, which almost feels like an endorsement.
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