1/10
Michael Bay's checklist to make bad movies
24 June 2023
1. Every movie must be 3hrs long, keep adding secondary characters until you get there.

2. Have a pointless love interest with no chemistry.

3. Have fight scenes pop up out of nowhere just to show off special effects.

4. Pay a famous actor to do what amounts to an extended cameo, no matter how forced.

5. Introduce stereotypical, secondary characters that were popular in the 80's, the cute kid and the comedic relief, black guy

6. Have heroic deaths, where each hero gets to give a speech as they die in the arms of their best friend. Play epic music just in case we don't understand the moment.

7. Even after 3hrs, leave the audience confused about the plot and behavior of main characters. What was up w/Optimus Prime was he a redeemed bad guy or a restored good guy, why the mood swings?

8. Have the main villain who was indestructible at the start of the movie, badly lose the last fight of the movie.

I felt bad for Laura Haddock, she could have served a purpose other then 'love interest' had they combined her role with Hopkins, and dropped Hopkins. This would have shortened the movie by 30 minutes (oh yeah, rule #1). But instead they gave her a trite role, 'the scholar who was the ONLY one who could FIND the artifact only to hand it over to Wahlberg the ONLY one who could USE it)
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