Club Dread (2004)
2/10
Boorish and obnoxious; not clever, and not funny
12 May 2024
I remember very well when this came out. I remember it partly because I worked at a video store at the time, and partly because in glaring contrast to Broken Lizard's smash hit 'Super Troopers' of 2001, no one talked about 'Club Dread'; it came and went with barely any notice. I've not seen 'Super Troopers' in about twenty years and I wonder if it still holds up; what about a slasher comedy that was effectively dead on arrival? The good news is that we get our answer pretty quickly, and for those who are apt to duck out fast from a bad movie, you can do so right away. The bad news is that whether you duck out or are the sort of viewer who are committed to sitting through a flick no matter how awful it is, any amount of time spent with this muck is too much. The "dread" of the title belongs to the audience who has unknowingly entered into one hundred minutes of insipid putrescence.

As a slasher comedy this naturally plays liberally with tropes of the root genre, and moreover, the intended parody energy is on full blast. We're given an island populated by obnoxious college co-eds (staff and guests alike), checking off all the boxes for them to be thoroughly unlikable, and we actively look forward to seeing these characters meet the reaper. This is all well and good, but there is a risk that comes with that territory, for there must be balance between the bluster that is being skewered and the cleverness that provides the humor. This, sorrily, is where 'Club Dread' fails, and it fails spectacularly - not riding the line between awful, unfunny puerility and witty spoof, but falling almost completely on the side of awful, unfunny puerility. We're greeted with cheap, tawdry, tiresome juvenile jokes and gags about sex and anatomy, and dashes of homophobia, ableism, and fatphobia. We get the stale, boorish dialogue of frat boys, dull stoner comedy, and female characters who are either included purely to be objectified, and treated as veritable sex toys, or practically not written at all. Do note considerable gratuitous nudity, and for good measure add some exhausting bluster and raucousness for their own sake.

Despite relying heavily on tropes there are some good ideas in the story itself; granted, this does not apply to the reveal of the killer or their motive, and the simple fact of the matter is that this is longer than it should have been. Surprisingly, there are very small tinges, sparsely scattered here and there, of the sharp ingenuity necessary to earn a laugh, and that actually is what happens. In general I don't particularly like the characters, and the scene writing is an incredibly mixed bag, but I guess the cast do their job, and some actors come off better than others - though emphatically, not those who adopt a cartoonish, exaggerated accent. Those operating behind the scenes made suitable contributions, and 'Club Dread' is duly well made according to the standards of the early 2000s. Yet none of this matters so much if a title built first and foremost for comedy fails to elicit the desired reaction. While there are a few additional points where the film comes close to earning a laugh, the number of times when it truly does so can easily be counted, and it is: four. Four laughs total over the course of one hundred minutes, and I'm unsure if two of those really count.

I suppose strictly speaking there are worse ways you could spend your time, but that really isn't saying much. As it is I think it's possible I'm being too kind in my assessment, and THAT, on the other hand, is saying a lot. I don't know who I would recommend this to, because no one I know - or would want to know - is going to enjoy this any more than I did. Check it out if you want, I just don't know why you would. 'Club Dread' is a dud, and you're better off not bothering with it in the first place.
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