When Mr. Hansen comes to Hong Kong, he is attacked in moments by ninjas, as often happens. Please understand that I have never been to Hong Kong and I base this thought on the fact that I have watched ten Godrey Ho movies in two days. But anyways, Hansen as a briefcase filled with diamonds handcuffed to his wrist and the ninjas just slice it off, killing him.
Back in their ninja base - or lair - Mr. X laughs about their big win and offers wine for all his ninja friends. They're sure he's poisoned it, but he drinks some himself, so they figure it's safe. Nope. Only Allan - yes, Allan the ninja - doesn't drink. He steals the briefcase and runs, ending up at the birthday party for his girlfriend Rose.
This is where Godfrey tempts the gods of music copyright law, using not just one but two different versions of "Happy Birthday" back when you had to pay for it. More on music later, but suffice to say that Godfrey Ho feels the same way about copyright law as Negativland. Or maybe he just doesn't care at all. Definitely, actually.
Mr. X calls the cops on Allan and he gets arrested. Near immediately, his brother Ken makes a move on Rose, which I think is worse than poisoning your ninja brothers. Allan spends years in jail and gets out with revenge on the brain. Also, obviously, everything in this part of the story is from a completely different already-made movie.
Meet our other hero: Rex (Stuart Smith). He's in a hotel room working out when his girl - and surprise Mr. Hansen's daughter - Tina (Christine O'Hara) end up making love in a way that feels voyeuristic to me, the viewer, in a way that does not make me comfortable. Who says things like, "It's not fair. You're so fit and strong." while getting made love to?
They're in Hong Kong to find the real killer and cross over with Allan but never actually meet because they're in two different movies. Allan is really in Chester Wong's The Outlaw (his Queen Bee's Revenge had already been remixed by Ho as Ninja: American Warrior).
What they do, however, is capture one of the ninjas that attacks them and spend an inordinate amount of time studying a guide on acupuncture and stabbing him with multiple needles - after waterboarding him and using a cigarette lighter on his balls - to get the answers they need. Oh yeah. They're Americans.
According to some sources, this isn't Godfrey Ho - he used the name Tommy Cheng - but really Cheng Kei-Ying, who was once an actor. It feels just like the typical Ho movie if not more mean spirited in all the best of ways. I mean, when else will you see the heroine put rocks in her purse and beat the stuffing out of the final boss? Or one that ends with the hero taking away the villain's ability to ever be a ninja again, which causes him to commit seppuku as blood sprays everywhere?
Now, to the music.
Ninja In Action has some great selections, including "The Sun Always Shines On TV" by a-ha, "Cuba Libre (remix)" by Modern Rocketry, Dirty Harry soundtrack by Lalo Schifrin, Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan soundtrack by James Horner and "Love's Gonna Get You" by Freeez.
According to nts.live, Modern Rocketry was "a hi-nrg disco band featuring Ken Kessie, active from 1983 to 1988. They're not very well known - in fact they're downright obscure - but what little fame they enjoyed was probably due to their 1985 release, best described as the gayest disco song ever. "Homosexuality," with its b-side of 'Thank God For Men," followed in the well-trodden footsteps of Patrick Cowley's "Menergy" and Boystown Gang's "Cruising In The Streets" with massive gay audience appeal. A hit in gay clubland, it's not uncommon to hear it nowadays."
Hear it in a ninja movie.
Back in their ninja base - or lair - Mr. X laughs about their big win and offers wine for all his ninja friends. They're sure he's poisoned it, but he drinks some himself, so they figure it's safe. Nope. Only Allan - yes, Allan the ninja - doesn't drink. He steals the briefcase and runs, ending up at the birthday party for his girlfriend Rose.
This is where Godfrey tempts the gods of music copyright law, using not just one but two different versions of "Happy Birthday" back when you had to pay for it. More on music later, but suffice to say that Godfrey Ho feels the same way about copyright law as Negativland. Or maybe he just doesn't care at all. Definitely, actually.
Mr. X calls the cops on Allan and he gets arrested. Near immediately, his brother Ken makes a move on Rose, which I think is worse than poisoning your ninja brothers. Allan spends years in jail and gets out with revenge on the brain. Also, obviously, everything in this part of the story is from a completely different already-made movie.
Meet our other hero: Rex (Stuart Smith). He's in a hotel room working out when his girl - and surprise Mr. Hansen's daughter - Tina (Christine O'Hara) end up making love in a way that feels voyeuristic to me, the viewer, in a way that does not make me comfortable. Who says things like, "It's not fair. You're so fit and strong." while getting made love to?
They're in Hong Kong to find the real killer and cross over with Allan but never actually meet because they're in two different movies. Allan is really in Chester Wong's The Outlaw (his Queen Bee's Revenge had already been remixed by Ho as Ninja: American Warrior).
What they do, however, is capture one of the ninjas that attacks them and spend an inordinate amount of time studying a guide on acupuncture and stabbing him with multiple needles - after waterboarding him and using a cigarette lighter on his balls - to get the answers they need. Oh yeah. They're Americans.
According to some sources, this isn't Godfrey Ho - he used the name Tommy Cheng - but really Cheng Kei-Ying, who was once an actor. It feels just like the typical Ho movie if not more mean spirited in all the best of ways. I mean, when else will you see the heroine put rocks in her purse and beat the stuffing out of the final boss? Or one that ends with the hero taking away the villain's ability to ever be a ninja again, which causes him to commit seppuku as blood sprays everywhere?
Now, to the music.
Ninja In Action has some great selections, including "The Sun Always Shines On TV" by a-ha, "Cuba Libre (remix)" by Modern Rocketry, Dirty Harry soundtrack by Lalo Schifrin, Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan soundtrack by James Horner and "Love's Gonna Get You" by Freeez.
According to nts.live, Modern Rocketry was "a hi-nrg disco band featuring Ken Kessie, active from 1983 to 1988. They're not very well known - in fact they're downright obscure - but what little fame they enjoyed was probably due to their 1985 release, best described as the gayest disco song ever. "Homosexuality," with its b-side of 'Thank God For Men," followed in the well-trodden footsteps of Patrick Cowley's "Menergy" and Boystown Gang's "Cruising In The Streets" with massive gay audience appeal. A hit in gay clubland, it's not uncommon to hear it nowadays."
Hear it in a ninja movie.
