The Libertine (2004)

John Malkovich: Charles II

Quotes 

• King Charles II : I thought about putting you in the tower. I even considered putting your head on a spike. But I decided on something worse. I'm going to ignore you. I will no longer encourage any hope in my breast for you. I am condemning you to be you for the rest of your life.

• King Charles II : Your father spirited me out of England when my life was at stake, so I looked after him and after you.

  Rochester : You put me in the Tower.

  King Charles II : And I let you out. The time has come for you to pay your dues. People listen to you, Johnny. If you took your seat in the Lords, you could make great speeches that would influence events. Anyone can oppose, it's fun to be against things, but there comes a time when you have to start being for things as well.

• King Charles II : The most advanced scientific instrument in western Europe. It cost £60,000. It tells the time in every corner of the globe. Understand? That is achievement. The man who did that was not continually pissed for the last three years.

• King Charles II : I handed you a chance to show your shining talent and what do you give me in return? A pornographic representation of a royal court where the men only deal in buggery and the women's sole object of interest is the dildo!

  Rochester : A monument to your reign!

• King Charles II : Johnny, you finally did something for me.

  Rochester : I didn't do it for you, I did it for me.

• King Charles II : When did I banish him?

  Royal Advisor : Three months ago.

  King Charles II : For how long?

  Royal Advisor : A year.

  King Charles II : Bring him back. Now.

• King Charles II : Elizabeth had her Shakespeare. You could be mine.

• King Charles II : Give me a major work of literature and I'll give you 500 guineas.

  Rochester : When would you like it? Friday?

• King Charles II : I can't get money out of Louis unless I dissolve Parliament, and I can't get money out of Parliament unless I fight Louis.

  Rochester : Well, choose.

  King Charles II : I need money from both of them.

• King Charles II : I'm being pissed on from half-a-dozen directions at once and it don't accord with my majestic dignity.

• King Charles II : I could've ignored your poem, Johnny, but I made a fuss about it for a reason; I won't hide anything from you. The country's on the brink, people are still reeling from the fire, the plague, the Catholics are plotting, the Dutch are a bunch of bastards and the French are ten times worse and there's no money. I can only get funds by calling into Parliament or plotting against them, and I don't want to lock antlers with them head on the way my father did.