Hellboy II: The Golden Army (2008)

Seth MacFarlane: Johann

Photos 

Quotes 

• Tom Manning : What's going on? What's going on?

  Hellboy : I quit.

  [gives Manning his belt and weapon] 

  Tom Manning : What? Are you serious?

  Liz Sherman : Looks that way doesn't it?

  [gives Manning her belt and weapon] 

  Tom Manning : What's wrong with you? You can't all just quit.

  Abe Sapien : [gives Manning his belt and weapons]  Watch us.

  [pats Manning on the cheek and walks past him] 

  Hellboy : [comes back]  On second thought...

  [pulls out the Samaritan] 

  Hellboy : I think I'll keep this!

  [walks away] 

  Tom Manning : Come on. Come on! Johann, they can't do this. Stop them.

  Johann Krauss : Dr. Manning, suck my ectoplasmic schwanzstucker!

• Johann Krauss : Nice baby.

  Baby : I'm not a baby. I'm a tumor.

• Johann Krauss : [after thrashing Hellboy]  There we are. Your temper, it makes you sloppy. Try to control it, Agent Hellboy. Before it controls you.

  [Johann "walks" away, singing in German] 

  Hellboy : Glass-hole.

• Hellboy : Eh, Mr. Kraut, sir?

  Johann Krauss : Krauss, agent. There's a double s.

  Hellboy : SS. Right, right.

• Johann Krauss : You say I'm not human, but on the contrary, I understand your pain all too well. You see, a long time ago, I lost the woman I love, and that was, in fact, the cause of my present misfortune. I will tell you about it someday. But for now, the tactical advantage is ours! Consider this: the Prince lacks the crown piece. And without it, his Army poses no threat to us.

  Liz Sherman : So, we have clearance then?

  Johann Krauss : Agent Sherman... Liz... screw ze clearance! Ve vill *take* that plane!

• Johann Krauss : You have one fatal flaw.

  Hellboy : Oh, I wanna hear this.

  Johann Krauss : No, you don't. You can't take criticism.

  Hellboy : Try me.

  Johann Krauss : [pokes Hellboy]  Can't... take it.

  Hellboy : [yells]  What's my flaw?

  Johann Krauss : Your temper! It gets the best of you. Makes you weak, makes you vulnera...

  [Hellboy punches him] 

• Princess Nuala : [with the others in the meat-locker]  To wage his war, my brother needs this.

  [holding the crown piece and cylinder] 

  Princess Nuala : The final piece of the crown of BethMora and this map to the location of the Golden Army chamber.

  Johann Krauss : The Golden Army. The harbingers of death, the unstoppable tide...

  Hellboy : [under his breath]  Howdy Doody.

  Johann Krauss : Your Highness, if you hand the crown piece over to us...

  Princess Nuala : No. Where it goes, I go. My father died to uphold the truce with your world. We must honor his noble intentions.

  Abe Sapien : The lady is in dire danger.

  Johann Krauss : I take is your are vouching for her, Agent Sapien?

  Abe Sapien : Most emphatically, yes.

  Johann Krauss : Even so... I am sorry, but we simply cannot assume such responsibility on our own.

  Hellboy : [getting in Johann's face]  Lady just lost her father, what more do you want?

  Johann Krauss : You may not care, but there are procedures, rules, and little handbooks that...

  Hellboy : She's coming with us. You got that, gasbag?

  Johann Krauss : [offended]  What-what did you call me?

  Prince Nuada : [from behind the group]  You! You will pay for what happened to my friend down there.

  Hellboy : [turning to face him, sarcastically]  Yeah, right. You take checks?

  Prince Nuada : [enraged]  Demon. Born from a womb of shadows, sent to destroy their world and you still believe you belong?

  Hellboy : Are we going to talk all night? Because I'm really sleepy.

• Hellboy : Hey, gasbag! Stop talking now!

  Johann Krauss : Or what? Are you threatening me? Because I think I can take you.

  [silence] 

  Hellboy : Excuse me?

  Johann Krauss : You heard me.

• Johann Krauss : You will learn to obey me, follow protocol and stay focused at all times.

  Hellboy : Oh, that word - "fock-yused"? Yeah, with your accent, I wouldn't use it that much.

• Johann Krauss : [as the destroyed Golden soldiers reform themselves]  Well, I'm out of ideas.

  Hellboy : I've got one.

• Johann Krauss : Screw the clearance, we will take that plane!