The Fanglys (Video 2004) Poster

(2004 Video)

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3/10
"Waste not, want not... take it to the skinning shed." Terrible low budget horror film.
poolandrews25 March 2006
Warning: Spoilers
The Fanglys is set in a small Texan town called Layton on the eve of Halloween as the townspeople treat it like the second coming of Christ or something, I mean Halloween isn't that important is it? Anyway, Sheriff Pete (Burton Gilliam) has been called out to yet another murder as local boy Ned (co-associate producer John William Galt) has discovered a body in the local woods. Could it be the Fang Lady (Justin Hamilton)? The central character involved in a local legend about a witch who kills teenagers, who knows? Being the fun sort of guy he is Mark (asisstant director & producer Robert Harvey) convinces his missus Kelly (Laurie Reeves) to ride out to a cemetery that his mate Steven (Josh Gobin) found the night before for a Halloween party. The idea of spending the night in a cemetery in the middle of the woods obviously appeals to Kelly & she agrees, along with Steven & a girl he picked up named Camille (Natalie Woods) & their nerdy friend Jerry (Tim Boswell) they all set out for a night of fun, well as much fun as you can expect to have in an isolated cemetery. However they soon discover that the legend of the Fang Lady is far from the bedtime story many make out...

Edited, executive produced, written & directed by Christopher Abram The Fanglys is a pretty rubbish attempt at a horror film. The script is very predictable, dull & doesn't deliver any sort of entertainment value whatsoever, in the right hands & with a decent budget The Fanglys could have been an effective horror film but as it is it isn't. It moves along at a fair pace but the on-screen 'action' is so poor that it doesn't matter, I don't quite know what else to say other than The Fanglys is a really bad film & I can't see anyone getting any sort of enjoyment out of it. The dialogue is basic, the character's are clichéd & lifeless while as a whole the film seems a lot longer than the 90 minutes running time. There are a few lame attempts at humour which don't sit that well along side the horror elements & what was that retard keeping in that cage? I'd imagine the budget didn't allow the filmmakers to show it. Oh, if you want to know what happens to Jerry at the end then you'll have too keep watching past the end credits as the lame truth is revealed, assuming you can actually make it that far of course (believe me it takes some doing).

Director Abram doesn't do anything special. Abram thinks bathing scenes in neon light is stylish, I can tell him that it isn't when your film is supposed to be set in the woods. There's no atmosphere, scares, tension, excitement or any of the elements that makes a good horror film good. Forget about decent gore, there's a bit when someone eats some skin off an arm & a pitchfork stuck through someones throat.

Apparently The Fanglys had a filming budget of $2,837 which makes it one of the lowest budget films ever to have a commercial release, & to be brutally honest it shows. What about the retarded guy & his false joke shop teeth that look ridiculous? The terrible special effects, the camcorder cinematography & the terrible acting from everyone involved that makes it even more of a pain to sit through.

The Fanglys is straight-to-video crap, it has no redeeming features whatsoever & it's low IMDb user rating score is fully justified, it's one of those films that within half an hour I was looking at the clock & wishing the thing would just finish.
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Surprise me
foreverkraze4 September 2004
After the first 30 minutes I was ready to hit the fast forward to see if by any chance, the film would improve. I love horror films and miss the quality of the old B movies. Although, this movie's production quality was lacking with the poor quality sound & lighting, the cast was excellent. When I took advantage of all the DVD features and learned that the budget spent for this film was half my monthly mortgage, I began to see it differently. I was surprised by this freshmen-to-seasoned cast. Burton Gilliam was wonderful! Robert Harvey made the film worth watching as did Josh Gobin. It was missing some of the key elements in most B movies, and the overall story lacked a complete vision, nevertheless, I would welcome another attempt by Abrams to bring an urban legend to film...and I grew up with a great one...(I would have to insist on Harvey in the casting)...if ya fixed the somewhat sloppy editing, eliminated the over "shadowing" in a few scenes, and improved the audio...the film would be good2go.
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1/10
Awful
chade766 August 2004
I went into this movie with an open mind. I had been too lazy to go to the video store to pick out a movie, and my friend returned with this. I promised him I wouldn't laugh at his choice, but within the first five minutes I told him I would have to take back my promise. We kept watching, just hoping it would get better, but no; a continual mind-rape followed.

This "movie" was probably one of the worse ever committed to film, and surely deserves a place on the IMDb Bottom 100. I really don't know how this got distributed. The lighting was poor. I have seen better acting in elementary school plays. There is really nothing positive to say about it.
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1/10
My new all-time WORST
toronaga28 May 2005
Yes, it's a SBIF (So Bad It's Funny) classic. With a budget running into the tens of dollars, some of the most abysmal acting you have ever seen, and absolutely NO even remotely frightening moments - not even a nanosecond! Camera work was at the elementary school level - one still shot outside a house was obviously hand-held and jiggled crazily. Blood looked like watered-down cherry Koolaid, someone made a trip to the local butcher shop for the "human" bones, and Miss Witch had the cheapest mask Wal-Mart could provide.

Did ANYONE involved look at the final cut and realize what a mess this was? Most of the names in the credits HAVE to be pseudonyms, it would be career suicide to have THIS on your resume. Do yourself a favor and watch Ebert's video of his colonoscopy instead!
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1/10
One of the most awful films I have ever seen!
StolenAway2 May 2006
This film is terrible - honestly. The acting is terrible, the script made me cringe, the effects are completely lousy (which I usually don't mind for older films, but this was made just two years ago), and everything about it just annoys me. A few friends go out on Halloween into the woods and meet a witch and her cannibal son. Of course, before that it has the cliché "You really believe that? Ha ha ha, it's just a story" routine dragged out for a while. The witch's cannibal son was made a retard (I don't know if it was for comedy or to make it creepy, but this film failed at both). It has minimal gore and no nudity, which made a bad film even worse. Heck, the only good thing about this film is the leg eating scene, and even that could of been better.

Honestly, don't even waste your time watching it on cable, and certainly don't consider buying or renting this, else you'll be kicking yourself for wasting time which could of been spent doing something more constructive or entertaining.
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1/10
ROTTEN WORTHLESS "MOVIE"
planet910 September 2004
This is one of the most stupid and worthless movies ever. It really does not qualify for movie status. It is VERY cheap (apparently shot on videotape), horribly acted, and just plain rotten. I could not believe how cheap and inept this piece of crap was. It looked like a home video! I mean I believe a guy I know a few houses down must have dug out his video camera and made this crap in 2 or 3 hours. It is that bad. I noticed the name from whence this came…Asylum…and I will NEVER rent anything with that name on it again!!! When you rent a flick, check to see if it is from this "company." One thing is true though--if you like horribly acted, amateur movies, then you might like this loser. It is absolutely boring and terrible!!! You have been warned!!!
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1/10
Worst Movie Ever!!!!
hehateme_22 May 2005
I had to suffer through this movie three times while I was a zombie extra in the director's new movie After Sundown. The first time that I saw this movie the director was standing next to me and a clearly fake and cheesy looking hand popped out of nowhere and grabbed one of the characters. I could not take it any more I busted out laughing right in front of the guy. The movie has no direction whatsoever and the one thing that could make this movie decent (Female Nudity) was nowhere to be found. I am a fan of low budget horror movies, but this was just too much for me. The worst part was that I had to watch it so many times. Also do not expect the new movie to be any better.
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8/10
Amazing what he did with a $2387.00 budget!
khoekstra9 August 2004
Hey, this movie isn't high art by any means, but he did the whole thing for under $2500.00! Compare this movie to the $40,000 train wreck that is "Sleepless Nights" and you'll have a whole new appreciation for The Fanglys.

The acting is much better than most of the straight to video horror on the shelves these days (see Scarecrow and Scarecrow slayer) and the writing's not bad either. The extras on the DVD are worth it...great outtakes and a cool "making of" featurette.

If cheesy, straight to video horror is what you want, you could do a whole lot worse than The Fanglys.
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7/10
Masterpiece Among Straight to Video Horror Flicks!
wtrkorn80dtex24 June 2004
I heard through a network of independent filmmakers from Dallas that some locals put together a horror movie that resembled Wrong Turn and Texas Chainsaw Massacre. I rented the last copy off the shelf this past Tuesday and I have to give the director and the DP two big thumbs up. They did a good job piecing together a 90 minute film with the controversial content they had to work with. The actors all put on swell performances. However I was quite disappointed that Josh Gobin wasn't butchered alive and there were no sightings of bare boobies. Those are the two most important cardinal rules in the Straight-To-Video Horror Movie Bible, you have to show the naked female anatomy, plus kill the jerk/goofy butter ball. Otherwise, I recommend this movie to audiences who enjoy viewing scary local legends, retarded inbred psycho hicks, and cannibalism. I hope this group of young filmmakers get together and make another one of these gems. But if you make a Fanglys 2, please kill off Gobin in the opening scene, preferably with a meat grinder to the crotch.
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10/10
Cool.
klaymen12319 June 2004
As far as low budget direct to video films go, this is the cream of the crop. Fast paced, frightening, and always keeping a good humor about itself, The Fangly's is surely a direct to video film you will want to go rent. Of course if you aren't into flesh eating cannibals... This film may not be for you. I still recommend to all those who are looking for a good movie to rent on a Friday or Saturday night. The best part about this film is the bad guys. Actually, bad guys is a weak word. Try inbred, cannibalistic hillbillies. They are scary depictions of what some creep backwoods flesh-eaters might look like. Burton Gilliam also delivers a superb performance for the 10 minutes of movie he is in. I like that guy. Anyways I have preached enough. Rent it if you have the chance, It's hardcore.
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10/10
Top 10 of '04
jltimm2431 December 2005
This is a must see. The acting is superb, especially the person who plays the Fanglady (a completely awe inspiring performance). The fact that this movie did not get nominated for best picture is a travesty (on a weaker year it would probably take the Oscar home). I don't want to give the plot away, and its not like there are any words capable of describing its perfection anyway. This is one of those movies that takes more than one viewing to fully comprehend the extensive plot twists and turns.All in all, this is one heck of a movie and one that should not be missed by any so called "movie buff".As the Iliad is to modern literature, The Fanglys will soon be to future film-making.
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Cathy's curse has competition
HorrorFan7227 July 2004
What was right about this movie? Was it the shadows pointing in the wrong direction from the lights in the scene; was it the audio distortion heard on the messed up audio track? Or is it just everything?

What was good about this movie?

Expect a horribly poor implementation of what could be an interesting story.

I don't get it, 20 years ago, with none of the current technology straight to video quality B movies got done. This whole new generation of straight to video, campy horror movies are worse then anything the 70's ever put out.

I think we should coin a new genre called Halloween store videos, based off of the quality of the props.

Just plain disappointing.
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Awesome Cheesy Horror Flick!
swimfairy044 July 2004
I thought it was pretty good for a cheesy horror flick shot on a skimpy budget. They did a really good job casting, and it was really fun to watch. I think it's amazing how creative you HAVE to be when you don't really have the money. Plus, it's more fun that way! I totally suggest you go rent it. However, I think it was perfectly fitting that every one that made it out survived. Um, I happen to know that most of that "butterball" on Josh is muscle, and personally, he was my favorite part of the movie. I hope the do make a sequel, with him as the hero! But seriously, these guys worked really hard on this, and there are enough creepy scenes and cheesy one liners for everyone to enjoy, so....enjoy!
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Not great but fun...except for Mark
filmfan316312 December 2004
It's hard to make a feature length film for $2500...the featurette alone is worth the rental as it gives us an inside look on the challenges of micro-micro budget movie making. The story itself is somewhat good, the acting (especially Mark) was really hard to tolerate. Not sure why he couldn't stick with one choice as an actor. I admire the production crew for their perseverance given the many trials they had to endure. I'm guessing this is the first film they have successfully distributed. Burton Gilliam is fun to watch and I think it's pretty cool he and John Gault would act in this project. Overall, I'd recommend it so long as you take it for what it is. Look forward to their next project.
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Could have been better.
Tejota148214 August 2004
Saw this flick over the week and have to admit, I was kinda feelin' it through the first 30min or so. I thought the whole witch thing was pretty decent and thought we had a brutal witch on our hands...did that happen? Nope. Trying to freak us out (this way never works), they throw a retarded cannibal our way and let him run around lookin' like a idiot the rest of the movie. I don't get it, all these new 'B' horror movies are so worried about cannibalism and all that crap. I thought the witch tale was decent, and that was what I expected from the flick...something decent. If i had gotten that, it would have been 5bucks well spent. It didn't happen. Quick side note, the character Jerry is by far the worst character to ever hit a movie. I mean this dude would not stop crying like a little girl. Really embarrassing. That didn't help this movie in that respect either. I'd try and avoid this mess.
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