Black Christmas (2006)

Lacey Chabert: Dana

Photos 

Quotes 

• [after seeing a sex tape of Kyle cheating on her with Megan] 

  Kelli Presely : [crying]  Get out! Get the fuck out! Am I gonna show up on there? Isn't sex enough, Kyle? You need little visual trophies to get your thrill?

  Kyle : [shouting]  Why don't you shut the fuck up?

  Dana Mathis : Hey, hey, hey!

  Ms. Barbara MacHenry : Go, Kyle, now!

  [Lauren rushes to the bathroom and vomits] 

  Kyle : Kelli, I really like you. A lot. I don't blame you for hating me. But I wasn't dealing, I wasn't knocking over 7-11s. I didn't hurt anybody.

  [begins to walk away] 

  Dana Mathis : Yeah, Merry Christmas, asshole.

  Kyle : Fuck all you bitches.

• Dana Mathis : Eve, you crazy bitch, I can see your breath.

• Ms. Barbara MacHenry : Didn't I see Clair earlier?

  Kelli Presely : Isn't she upstairs writing a card to her sister?

  Melissa Kitt : No, I think her sister picked her up earlier. Remember, this is the occasion for Clair and her sister and her mom to bury the hatchet and rediscover each other.

  Dana Mathis : I'd like to bury the hatchet with my sister... right in her head.

• [fiddling with the electric box, trying to get the power back on] 

  Dana Mathis : Oh shit. The main breaker is underneath the house.

  [Leigh looks at her] 

  Dana Mathis : What? I'm not the totally helpless daddy's girl these bitches make me out to be.

  Leigh Colvin : Okay, then go outside and turn the power on.

  Dana Mathis : Are you high? I'm not going outside, it's freezing!

  Leigh Colvin : It'll take two seconds, you know where the power is, I'll keep looking for Clair

  Dana Mathis : Ugh, fine.

• Dana Mathis : Oh shit, the main breaker's underneath the house. What? I'm not the totally helpless daddy's girl these bitches make me out to be!

  Leigh Colvin : OK, Then go outside and turn the power on.

  Dana Mathis : Are you high? I'm not going outside, it's freezing!

  Leigh Colvin : It'll take two seconds, you know where the power is and I'll keep looking for Clair.

  Dana Mathis : Oh fine!

• [from trailer] 

  Dana Mathis : Can't we just get on with this thing?

  Ms. Barbara MacHenry : We have to open Billy's present first!

  Heather : I'm really not okay with this. Buying a present for a serial killer?

  Ms. Barbara MacHenry : Billy lived here.

  [all but Heather laugh] 

• Ms. Barbara MacHenry : Who hasn't gotten a gift yet? Oh, Lauren.

  Dana Mathis : Just give her a shot of tequila, and wish her happy holidays.

  [Dana hands Lauren a drink, who is already obviously drunk] 

  Melissa Kitt : Happy Holidays!

  [Lauren downs the shot of tequila, then takes a drink of her wine] 

  Melissa Kitt : Okay, I know this is supposed to be the whole "Secret Santa" thing, but, I know that Clair drew your name.

  Lauren Hanon : Oh, yeah, she get me anything good?

  Melissa Kitt : Oh yeah... it's a music box. It plays "Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairies".

  Lauren Hanon : Oh, fuck no. I'm already startin' to see the Sugar Plum Fairies, I don't need to hear the little fuckers too!

  Ms. Barbara MacHenry : Language, language!

• Ms. Barbara MacHenry : [Searching for Billy's present under the christmas tree]  Billy! Billy! Girls, I can't find Billy's present under the tree here. Come on, girls, we can't start the secret santa without Billy's present! Hello? Who drew Billy's name?

  Melissa Kitt : Um, Ms. Mac, it's a secret santa.

  Dana Mathis : [Doing her nails]  Can we just get on with this thing? So I can party for a few days before having to deal with the family on Christmas.

  Melissa Kitt : Have you looked outside? It's raining hail the size of Yao's ballsack!

  Dana Mathis : It'll stop. The party gods wouldn't allow me to be here alone during Christmas break.

  Kelli Presely : Oh, I'll be here, Dana.

  [Disapointed] 

  Kelli Presely : Yeah, they're makin' me work next week.

  Melissa Kitt : That sucks, everyone should be home for Christmas.

  Ms. Barbara MacHenry : All right, all right, who's not here?

  Kelli Presely : Um, like everybody.

  Ms. Barbara MacHenry : Chelsea?

  Kelli Presely : She went home this morning.

• Ms. Barbara MacHenry : [after finding out Leigh was a legacy]  You're a legacy? What year?

  Leigh Colvin : Ninety-two... Ninety three... I don't know, I started late, I quit early...

  Ms. Barbara MacHenry : Nineteen-ninety three... I became housemother here; I don't remember you.

  Leigh Colvin : ...I mean, this was supposed to be such a big fucking weekend, excuse my language, but I drove all the way up here in this shitty, shitty weather, after blowing off a weekend with a cardiologist and...

  Dana Mathis : [interrupts Leigh]  I love your coat.

• Heather : Call the police!

  Lauren Hanon : Please. The police are gonna do shit about one wack job phone call.

  Dana Mathis : Just dial *69.

  Melissa Kitt : That just calls him back unless there's something you need him to clarify.

  Melissa Kitt : [checks caller ID; the phone reads Clark Crosby]  Caller ID says Clair's cell.

  Heather : [looking at Lauren]  You really shouldn't provoke someone like that.

  Lauren Hanon : What would you know about dealing with anyone other than your NASCAR daddy?

  Heather : I'm goin' home.

  Lauren Hanon : [Heather walks through Melissa and Lauren, bumping Lauren's shoulder]  Yeah, yeah. Run to daddy!

  Heather : [turns around]  At least my family wants me to come home.

  Kelli Presely : You guys. Come on. It's like, Christmas time.

  Ms. Barbara MacHenry : Yeah. Come on, Heather. What about your present?

  Heather : [turns, continues walking]  Give it to Billy.

  Heather : [turns back around and Eve appears in front of her; she gasps]