'Allo 'Allo! (TV Series)

The Gateau from the Chateau (1985)

Richard Marner: Colonel Kurt von Strohm

Photos 

Quotes 

• [Colonel von Strohm compliments Madame Edith] 

  Col. Von Strom : Champagne for the handsome Captain and the beautiful singer!

  René : [puzzled]  The Colonel is drunk early this evening.

• [Von Klinkerhoffen has ordered the Colonel to woo Madame Edith] 

  Col. Von Strom : How can I put this? I don't fancy her.

  Gen. Von Klinkerhoffen : Colonel, how can *I* put it? How do you fancy the Russian Front?

  Capt. Hans Geering : She's a good cook.

  Col. Von Strom : [starting to smile]  Oh, yes. I'd forgotten that.

• Capt. Hans Geering : The chemist gave me a pill containing all his best poisons. You take it with a glass of wine. One drink and, all is quite on the western front.

  Col. Von Strom : Are you sure it will work?

  Capt. Hans Geering : Yes, I told him it was for you.

• Col. Von Strom : Play your cards right and you'll be up stairs

  [with Edith] 

  Col. Von Strom : before the bottles finished.

  Capt. Hans Geering : [yells across to the bar]  Make it a magnum!

• Col. Von Strom : [discussing the General]  So far, he has only discovered the tip of the iceberg.

  Capt. Hans Geering : You haven't stolen a whole iceberg, have you?

• Gen. Von Klinkerhoffen : ...you will therefore, at once, pay attention to this lady

  [Edith Artois] 

  Gen. Von Klinkerhoffen : and if possible make her your mistress.

  Col. Von Strom : General, how can I put it? I don't fancy her.

  Gen. Von Klinkerhoffen : Coronel, how can I put it? How do you fancy the Russian Front?

  Capt. Hans Geering : She's a good cook

  Col. Von Strom : I'd forgotten that!

• Col. Von Strom : One of the first things you learn at Military Accadamy is never to tell a General when he has a chicken on his head.

• Gen. Von Klinkerhoffen : [General von Klinkerhoffen lights the candles on the cake with a bomb, Captain Geering stands up]  were are you going?

  Capt. Hans Geering : To the little boys room, the Coronel also wants to go to the little boys room.

  Col. Von Strom : No, I do not.

  Capt. Hans Geering : Yes you do.

  Col. Von Strom : No, I do not!

  Capt. Hans Geering : Coronel.

  [whispers to Colonel von Strom] 

  Col. Von Strom : Yes I do!