The Dick Van Dyke Show (TV Series)
Hustling the Hustler (1962)
Phil Leeds: Blackie Sorrell
Photos
Quotes
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Blackie Sorrell : She knew the way I earned a buck. She knew the whole bit. We got along pretty good. She said to me, "Blackie, you have a choice: Either you can go on hustling as you have been, shaming your family and your friends, or you can marry me and share a wonderful life and my two and a half million dollar inheritance."
Buddy Sorrell : You're kidding.
Blackie Sorrell : [pulling out a photograph] Here's a picture of the two and a half million.
Buddy Sorrell : She got two and a half million?
Blackie Sorrell : That's right.
Buddy Sorrell : And you married her?
Blackie Sorrell : Heh, that's my wife.
Buddy Sorrell : You know, she could be a lot uglier for two and a half million.
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Blackie Sorrell : Just to see you, I came all the way from Brazil.
Buddy Sorrell : Well, I got all the coffee beans I can use.
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Blackie Sorrell : What do I have to do to convince you I'm on the level?
Buddy Sorrell : Leave town.
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Robert 'Rob' Petrie : Are all you Sorrells as funny as Buddy?
Blackie Sorrell : No, uh... My mother was very strict. She said you can't all be funny. One of you has to be handsome. Well...
[strikes a pose and smiles]
Robert 'Rob' Petrie : You made a wise choice.
Blackie Sorrell : Actually we're all handsome in my family, but Buddy just hides it better than I do.
Robert 'Rob' Petrie : I see.
Blackie Sorrell : We're all salesmen, too. Buddy sells jokes and I sell real estate.
Robert 'Rob' Petrie : Hey, you ought to go into business together and sell funny real estate.
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Blackie Sorrell : Oh, do you... do you, uh... do you play pool, Laura?
Laura Petrie : [indicating Rob] Not with this one I don't. He's a real hustler.
Blackie Sorrell : Is he now?
Laura Petrie : You've heard of Minnesota Fats? This is Illinois Skinny.
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Blackie Sorrell : Are you, uh, really as good as she says you are?
Robert 'Rob' Petrie : I'll let my pool cue speak for me. This way, pigeon.
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Blackie Sorrell : Cute wife you have, Rob.
Robert 'Rob' Petrie : No, she's isn't. She just puts that on for company.
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Buddy Sorrell : All right, tell me, what finally made you go straight?
Blackie Sorrell : The love of a good woman.
Buddy Sorrell : Oooooo.
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Buddy Sorrell : All right, wise guy, whadda ya want here?
Blackie Sorrell : Nothing! It's just that I'm getting old and I... I wanna set a few things right before my good looks fade away. You know, nobody believes I was a homely child.