Star Trek: The Next Generation (TV Series)

The Schizoid Man (1989)

William Morgan Sheppard: Dr. Ira Graves

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Quotes 

• Dr. Ira Graves : [examining Data]  Looks like Soong's work.

  Lt. Cmdr. Data : Quite correct, sir. Did you know Dr. Soong?

  Dr. Ira Graves : Know him? I taught him everything he knows. You could say that I was the father of his work.

  [laughs] 

  Dr. Ira Graves : Which, uh, kinda makes me your grandfather, doesn't it, sonny?

• Lt. Cmdr. Data : I have noticed, Grandpa, that you keep repeating the same notes of a musical phrase I am unfamiliar with.

  Dr. Ira Graves : Oh, it's a, it's an ancient little tune called "If I Only Had a Heart" - a plaintive lament sung by a mechanical man who longs to be human. It's his only wish.

• Dr. Ira Graves : I'm an incredible man, possessing a... an iron will and nerves of steel - two traits that have helped me become the genius I am today as well as the lady killer I was in days gone by.

  Lt. Cmdr. Data : You condone homicide, sir?

• Dr. Ira Graves : Well, well, well, what have we got here? Another lovely specimen of womanhood.

  Counselor Deanna Troi : I thought you didn't like people.

  Dr. Ira Graves : Women aren't people - they're women.

• Dr. Ira Graves : I feel pity for you. Your existence must be a kind of walking purgatory - neither dead nor alive. Never really *feeling* anything. Just existing. Just existing.

  [he retches] 

  Dr. Ira Graves : Oh, listen to me. A dying man takes the time to mourn a man who will never know death.

• Dr. Ira Graves : Stories often have happy endings. It's life that throws you for a loop.

• Lt. Selar, M.D. : [on Dr. Graves' condition]  What symptoms have you noticed?

  Kareen Brianon : He has pain, shortness of breath, irritability...

  Dr. Ira Graves : Ridiculous! I'm as healthy as a Rigellian ox.

  Kareen Brianon : He's not himself, believe me. His temper is completely out of control.

  Dr. Ira Graves : [vehemently]  NONSENSE!

• Lt. Selar, M.D. : I am a doctor. Lieutenant Selar.

  Dr. Ira Graves : Uh, no offense, but I don't want you touching me in any way. It's no secret that I don't like people much, and I like doctors even less.

  Counselor Deanna Troi : That's funny. I thought most doctors *were* people.

  Dr. Ira Graves : Then you're wrong. Ask any patient.