Brüno (2009) Poster

(2009)

Sacha Baron Cohen: Brüno

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Quotes 

  • Brüno : Ich was going to be the biggest Austrian superstar since Hitler.

  • Brüno : Look at the four of us; we are so like the Sex in the City girls!

    Donny : Oh no, we aren't either!

    Brüno : Which one are you, Donny?

    Donny : I ain't any one of them, I'm Donny.

    Brüno : That is such a Samantha thing to say!

  • Brüno : There's a lot of African Americans in Africa!

    African-American Lady : No! There's a lot of Africans in Africa!

    Brüno : That's racist!

  • Drill Sergeant : Your finger's in my alley.

    Brüno : Not yet.

  • Brüno : Ich was going to become famous by solving a world problem! But which one? Clooney's got Darfur, Sting's got the Amazon, and Bono's got AIDS! Luckily, there was still one shithole left to fix: the Middle Earth.

  • Brüno : So you were never gay?

    Pastor Jody Trautwein : [shakes head]  Mh-mh.

    Brüno : It's ironic that you should have amazing blowjob lips.

    Pastor Jody Trautwein : Hmm. Well, these lips were made to praise Jesus.

    Brüno : No, they were made for something else, but you're just not using it for them.

  • Ron Paul : [after Brüno drops his pants]  All right, get out of here! This is ended.

    Ron Paul : [later, in the hallway]  That guy's queerer than the blazes. He took his clothes off. Let's get goin'. He's queer, he's crazy, he put a hit on me and took his clothes off.

    Brüno : [narrating]  I couldn't even schtupp RuPaul.

  • Brüno : [about the baby in his arms]  I swapped him.

    African-American Lady : Swapped the baby for what?

    Brüno : For an iPod.

  • Brüno : Can I give you guys a word of advice? Lose the beards, because your King Osama looks like a kind of dirty wizard or a homeless Santa.

    Self - Terrorist Group Leader, Al-Aqsa Martyrs Brigade : What exactly did he just say?

    Translator : He says that your King Osama looks like a dirty wizard... or a homeless Santa Claus.

    Self - Terrorist Group Leader, Al-Aqsa Martyrs Brigade : [Speaks in Arabic] 

    Translator : Get out. Get out now!

  • Lutz : Because I think that... you're amazing.

    Brüno : Am I going to wake up to find you masturbating over me?

    Lutz : I promise not to wake you.

  • Brüno : [standing naked outside of tent]  Donny, let me in your tent. A bear stole all of my clothes... except for these condoms.

  • Brüno : [referring to a woman's breasts]  You must produce a lot of milk.

  • National Guard Officer : What type of belt is that, candidate? What is that?

    Brüno : D and G.

    National Guard Officer : What is D and G?

    Brüno : Dolce and Gabbana, hello.

  • Brüno : How do you protect yourself from a dildo?

  • Elton John : [singing]  War's just based on hate and fear / Stop fighting, North and South Korea.

    Brüno : [singing]  You're both basically Chinese.

    Chris Martin : [singing]  He's Brüno, dove of peace.

    Snoop Dogg : [rapping]  Hey, yo Brüno, where the bitches at?

  • Brüno : We have chosen your baby to be dressed as a Nazi Officer, pushing a wheelbarrow, with a Jewish baby, into an oven!

  • Brüno : I wouldn't want to wake up and find that I'm torn in my arschenholer.

  • Self - Talkshow Host : And you chose to dress that baby up in a t-shirt that says what?

    Brüno : Gayby.

    Self - Talkshow Host : That's not the baby's name, is it?

    Brüno : No. I gave him like a traditional African name.

    Self - Talkshow Host : So what's the baby's name?

    Brüno : O.J.

  • Brüno : [about his baby, O.J]  I've gotta be honest: he's a real dick magnet.

  • Brüno : Looking up at the stars makes me think of all the hot guys in the world.

  • Brüno : Look me in the eye.

    Angry Swinger : This is a fuckin' swingers' party. OK? If you don't want pussy, if you don't want fuckin'... then quit fuckin' touching me and quit looking at me. I definitely ain't lookin' at you in the eye. OK? I didn't come here for no fuckin' queer shit, OK? I know what you're doin'.

  • PR Consultant : Is there something that you, like, that you believe in, like...

    Brüno : Well, I'm really into issues.

    PR Consultant : Yeah. Global warming's only getting worse, so...

    Brüno : Great!

    PR Consultant : That would be, that's something to get involved now, so... we can just help East, uh, Africa in order to help for our future in order for everyone... that's a beneficial thing to be involved with now.

  • National Guard Officer : By the way, where's your uniform? Go get your uniform on. Do it!

    Brüno : [Brüno returns with a scarf on] 

    National Guard Officer : Oh my god. What's up with the scarf?

    Brüno : That is like... it's my own...

    National Guard Officer : [Interrupts]  Let me introduce you to somebody. Captain Miles!

    Captain Miles : [Walks towards Brüno]  Candidate, what are you doing? Stand into position of attention, candidate!

    National Guard Officer : Do it!

    Captain Miles : Head and eyes straight forwards, candidate!

    National Guard Officer : Do it!

    Captain Miles : Head and eyes straight forward!

    National Guard Officer : Do it!

    Captain Miles : Stand still, candidate!

    National Guard Officer : Do it!

    Captain Miles : That is not part of the uniform, candidate. You need to take that off.

    Brüno : This outfit is to matchy-matchy as it is. And so I was just trying to break it up with some simple horizontal lines.

    Captain Miles : Do you have an attitude, candidate?

    Brüno : No but, sir...!

    National Guard Officer : I think we do...

    Brüno : Sir, she's got an attitude!

    National Guard Officer : Not sir, officer candidate!

    Captain Miles : What?

    National Guard Officer : Did you just call me a she? Get down!

  • Brüno : [after eating numerous pieces of pie]  I'm committing carbicide.

  • Brüno : It's just this bear took my clothes. He took everything apart from these condoms.

  • Dominatrix : What is this? You're gonna dress me like a man?

    Brüno : No, it's just a beard.

  • Hotel Manager : No. This is not what was supposed to be going on in here.

    Brüno : You're telling me, honey. I should be chained to a 6'4" Norwegian with a PhD in sucking dick.

    Hotel Manager : That's not my concern.

    Brüno : Okay, well, listen, one other thing. Can you switch off the television? Because I made a fart, and I am on the verge of buying Mr. Magorium's Wunderbar Emporium.

    Hotel Manager : That's unfortunate.

    Brüno : No, but I refuse to pay for Mr. Magorium's Wunderbar Emporium. I did not press it.

    Hotel Manager : No, I'm afraid we are not gonna be doing that.

  • Brüno : So... if they are nice they are gay, right?

  • Lutz : We're finally together.

    Brüno : Are you mad, Lutz? Last night I was wearing "carb goggles". I had no idea what I was doing. I was high on Ragin' Cajun Potato Skins.

  • Cop : What's going on here?

    Brüno : What does it look like, Paul Blart?

See also

Release Dates | Official Sites | Company Credits | Filming & Production | Technical Specs


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