Doug Walker: Nostalgia Critic

Quotes 

• Nostalgia Critic : The only bigger insult than having a bad actor in a bad movie is having a good actor in a bad movie. Enter Raul Julia as the villain, M. Bison. Raul Julia was one of the most charismatic actors who ever lived and was taken from us a million times too early. In fact, it was rumored that Raul Julia did this as his last film because it was something his children really wanted him to do. Well thank you, you little brats. He lived long enough to see the destruction of his entire career. Top notch!

  [disclaimer appears:] 

  Nostalgia Critic : Warning: this is clearly for satirical purposes. Raul Julia kicks ass and I'm sure his family kicks ass.

• Nostalgia Critic : If somebody gave me a choice between sitting through these movies again or being crucified, I'd say, 'bring on the nail gun. There's a lumber sale at Home Depot's.'

• Nostalgia Critic : But luckily all that violence and gore had absolutely no disturbing side effects on our otherwise decent childhoods.

  [drinks from a skull and fires his gun in the air] 

  Nostalgia Critic : I'm sorry, I have to do that every twelve minutes.