Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV Series)
Face My Enemy (2014)
Clark Gregg: Phil Coulson
Photos
Quotes
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[watching May and her Hydra double face off]
Phil Coulson : I can't believe I'm the only one seeing this right now.
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Melinda May : So, what did she do? Fake me. How'd you know it wasn't me?
Phil Coulson : Little things. And she wanted to get coffee.
Melinda May : Ah. Punch her in the face?
Phil Coulson : Yeah.
Melinda May : Good.
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Skye : [Hears a noise over the comms] Wait. What was that?
Phil Coulson : Yeah. That's May.
Skye : Is-is she okay? Is everything okay?
Phil Coulson : Yes. She's laughing. I think the worst of it's over now.
Melinda May : [Walks up to Coulson] My face hurts.
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Phil Coulson : Laser grids. Why's there always laser grids?
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Phil Coulson : Maybe this will sound weird but, how about when this is over, you and I go finally get that cup of coffee we were supposed to get all those years back?
Agent Q : [Disguised as Melinda May] I thought you'd never ask. Once this is over, I'd like that.
Phil Coulson : [Punches her in the face] May hates coffee.
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Phil Coulson : This is fun, right? Isn't this fun? Look -
[Holds up his sleeves]
Phil Coulson : Cufflinks!
Melinda May : I will pay you $500 right now for a pair of flats.
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Brigadier General Glenn Talbot : I did what, now?
Phil Coulson : I know. It's a lot to process.
Brigadier General Glenn Talbot : I mean, a painting, Coulson, and you weren't immediately suspicious it wasn't me?
Phil Coulson : To be fair, we're not that close.
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Melinda May : I assume this all makes you happy.
Phil Coulson : Why would this make me happy?
Melinda May : We failed in our mission. We're outnumbered, trapped, hoping not to get killed. Feels like the old days to me.
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Brigadier General Glenn Talbot : Agent Coulson. Agent May. Seems like you're in a hurry.
Phil Coulson : The caterers ran out of coconut shrimp. There's no reason to stay.
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Phil Coulson : We're blown.
Melinda May : Why?
Phil Coulson : No idea. I think Talbot's still pissed 'cause we kidnapped him that time.
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Lance Hunter : Bridget said Soto's sending out the painting for verification first thing in the morning. She, uh, whispered it in my ear, if you know what I mean.
Phil Coulson : Yes, everybody on the planet knows what you mean, Hunter. Let's focus.
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Melinda May : [laughing while under cover] I must get a picture of us together.
[Turns to Coulson]
Melinda May : Charles. C'mere. Honey, can you take a picture of me and Mr. Soto? It's be such a nice momento of the evening.
Phil Coulson : Oh, yes, that would be nice.
Gabriel Soto : He's... your husband?
Melinda May : [to Soto] We're modern.
[to Coulson]
Melinda May : Charles? Please?
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Phil Coulson : You weren't exactly thrilled when we got assigned that retrieval op in Sausalito that coffee shop, our first mission?
Melinda May : That's because the commander sent us in with no exit plan. I was in the bay for five hours.
Phil Coulson : I fished you out... eventually.
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Alphonso 'Mack' Mackenzie : Sir. Notice the car? 1962 Rolls. Restored it myself.
Phil Coulson : [smiling] I noticed. Still not lettin' you work on Lola.
Alphonso 'Mack' Mackenzie : [smiling back] In time, sir. In time.
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Phil Coulson : This is fun, right?
[to May. They are dressed formally to go under cover]
Phil Coulson : Isn't this fun? Look. Cuff links.
Melinda May : [sternly] I will pay you $500 right now for a pair of flats.
Alphonso 'Mack' Mackenzie : [gravely] Good luck, sir.
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Melinda May : [Referring to Talbot] I'll handle it.
Phil Coulson : May...
Melinda May : Hey, this is the part I do. It'll make up for all the dancing.
Phil Coulson : You liked it.
Melinda May : No, I didn't.
Phil Coulson : A little bit?
Melinda May : A little bit.
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Brigadier General Glenn Talbot : Just to be clear, this is all about a mask that this guy put on and made him look like me?
Phil Coulson : Yeah.
Brigadier General Glenn Talbot : You know, I spent five long months in an enemy war camp. You people make me miss those days. But hey, why don't we keep chatting on this secure line you've hacked so I can draw a bead on your location, and we can get some quality face time?
Phil Coulson : [Hangs up on General Talbot] Some people are better in small doses.
Melinda May : [Chuckles] Meanwhile, now we know Hydra is searching for evidence of the alien writing. That's not good.