Trumpy Reviews

Mulan (1998)

Adequate

[17 May 2000]

I saw this on TV a few days ago. And was pretty pleasantly surprised.

Positives

-Story: I can't really comment too much on the Chinese legend but the story of the movie was pretty compelling. The story of a young woman searching for her place in the world and proving herself a warrior.

-Look: Disney once again created a new look for its cartoons and this one looks pretty nice. The shots of the battle in the snow are rather impressive.

Negatives:

-Music: The music in this movie is ABOMINABLE. Boring, slow, un-catchy. I was begging for the music parts to go by.

-Secondary Characters: Very uninteresting. Especially the soldier characters. They had absolutely no personality to them whatsoever. Even the love interest wasn't that interesting. The Eddie Murphy character was a little better, but seemed too out of place in this type of movie spouting his one-liners.

The Creeping Terror (1964 TV Movie)

Bad bad bad bad bad bad, did I mention bad?

[17 May 2000]

This movie is absolutely horrendous. I don't see how Manos: The Hands of Fate gets picked over this as worst movie ever.

The Music: The most annoying music you could ever imagine. Most of it is stacatto marching band music. It doesn't match what is happening on the screen. Just listening to the music itself is confusing. Then there is the big "rock and roll party" where everybody gets eaten. Just like Mike says, "No wonder the British Invasion was so easy". Everyone at the party is 40 years old or older and ready to fall asleep. Only three people seem to be enjoying themselves: a spaz that thinks he's Jerry Lewis, a woman with a wobbly butt, and another woman with a rather sizable rump.

The Monster: This is probably the least scary monster ever created. The only possible victims that it could eat are paraplegics since it moves so slow. However, the MST3K cast gives the monster a hilarious happy-go-lucky/compulsive eating personality. Probably the most likable character in this movie was the monster. And what is it exactly? A giant bean bag? A living patchwork quilt?

The Narrarator: I don't know why practically the only speaking role in the movie is the narrator. Maybe the director knew how lousy the actors were and replaced their dialogue at the last second with the narrarator. I mean the actors mouth almost exactly what the narrarator says. And then the narrarator goes off on some tangent about the joys of wedded bliss.

The Moral: I guess some sort of religious group made this move cause the message seems to be "don't kiss a girl or else you will both be eaten by a monster". This also spreads to "don't dance to incredibly boring 'rock' music or you'll be eaten by a monster."

The Military: Almost as unbelievable as the monster are the "special" forces sent to save the town. I couldn't help saying aloud during the movie "They are so NOT military". If a bunch of losers riding around in the back of an old pickup is the army, I'd be really afraid.

Bloodlust! (1961)

BOOOOOOORING

[17 May 2000]

Most MST3K movies are mindnumbingly bad. But at that same time they are quirky enough to at least find humorous, like The Creeping Terror or Manos: The Hands of Fate. Some of the movies are fun to watch just to count obvious mistakes, like Skydivers or Red Zone Cuba. However I can find very little to recommend this movie. I only bought it because I get every Rhino release of the show and it was part of a 3-pack.

This movie is so boring and pointless. The teens just walk around the island and house all day long making supposedly witty conversation. It's so laughable seeing the supposedly suave manner of Robert Reed. But at least he pulled off wearing the tight second skin shirt without passing out.

The character Jondor was weird, besides being mute I didn't see any Tor Johnson-like characteristics in him to warrant playing the Igor role. Big, but not big enough; ugly, but not ugly enough, etc.

The characters of Bellow's wife and her lover were just thrown in the mix to explain a few things, but otherwise had no purpose or backstory.

The bottom line is they took everything out of A Most Dangerous Game that made it an appealing story and added teenagers.

Ever After: A Cinderella Story (1998)

If you liked Titanic......

[28 February 2000]

you will like this. All others besides pre-adolescent girls will want to avoid this movie. The lines the actors recite are unbelievably inane. Drew Barrymore doesn't seem believable at all with her breathless dialogue and fake sounding British accent. Her tough-girl act seems really fake too.

Rope (1948)

Good ideas

[16 February 2000]

Rope is one of the better movies that I have added to my library. The first element that caught my attention was the setup. You are given the answer to the mystery at the beginning of the film, but it is one of the characters that has to reach the right conclusion. I had never heard of the Leopold and Loeb murder before, but once I did the concept seemed fascinating. The morbid touch of the location of the body was great.

I enjoyed the work of the actors in this film. The most interesting portrayals are those of the murderer's themselves, especially the contrast in their personalities. Probably my favorite was that of Phillip. It makes you realize what it would be like if you ever decided to commit a crime where you were in extreme danger of getting caught. Brandon just seemed so hammy and obnoxious, but that was probably the intent of Hitchcock and the screenwriters so you would identify with Phillip. The comic relief was very effective too. My favorite was Mrs. Atwater and her ridiculous small talk about horoscopes and celebrities. Also funny, but extremely annoying was that of the landlady (housekeeper?) and her fussyness and not very well hid whispered comments. The only actor that really didn't cut it for me was Jimmy Stewart. He just seemed too out of place, especially as a socialite. His voice and mannerisms don't seem very realistic either, but maybe they were more common in the 40s and 50s. His righteous indignation at the end seems a little forced. I felt that he had done a good job in Vertigo, but in an alternate universe where someone else had taken the job, Vertigo would have been just as good and possibly even better.

It would be impossible not to mention the camerawork. I remember scanning Truffaut's interview with Hitchcock, and he mentioned that Rope was a misguided, failed experiment. I disagree and even if the technique was a gimmick, it was effective. Implementing real time and a single set really places you right into the party yourself, especially the way the camera wanders off into the background giving us extra information. Its like you get to choose to ignore the main action and concentrate on the little things you find interesting yourself, much as in real life.

The Matrix (1999)

Good plot and eyecandy

[23 January 2000]

There were two major Sci-fi flicks this summer. The Matrix and Star Wars: 1. I can't really say which was better, that would be like comparing apples and oranges. Suffice to say, this movie is a ton of fun, and I wish I had seen it in the theater.

First there is the wardrobe. Everyone gets these super-cool outfits. It makes sense that if you can program your appearance, you want to look your best. The downside is that the outfits seem kind of cheesy after a while.

The special effects were amazing. They were effectively used to up the excitement notch from what we're used to in an action film's fights. You actually feel Keanu Reeves is getting punched with tons of force (and considering his questionable talent...maybe not too bad of a thing).

The plot was pretty good I have to admit. Sure we've all heard the story of dream vs. reality and being mere puppets, but The Matrix puts a great twist to it. Don't listen to people that say you have to see it 2 times to understand it. The plot is good, but certainly not complex or deep.

The acting was passable. Fishburne did rather well. Keanu did little more than stare blankly, try to look pretty, and say "whoa". But its cool watching him kick butt. And Carrie Ann Moss.... If real hackers look that good, then I'm a giraffe.

Fantasia 2000 (1999)

Fun Watching

[23 January 2000]

Anyone who sees Fantasia 2000 will have a good time. The film is very accessible and beautiful. I had never been to an IMAX show, and its amazing having your entire field of vision used in the experience.

The pros-Beautiful music and beautiful images Lots of fun Seeing a cartoon based on Al Hirschfeld drawings The cons-Probably the compositions should have been ones not so overused, the ANNOYING, UNFUNNY monologues by actors in between sets. It TOTALLY breaks up the flow of the music

Mars Attacks! (1996)

I Wanted to Laugh, but Couldn't

[9 January 2000]

I am so glad the world has a director like Tim Burton. Peewee's Big Adventure, Edward Scissorhands, Ed Wood, etc. All great works of his unique vision. I had heard bad reviews of this movie so I didn't see it in the theater. A friend of mine kept telling me that he loved this movie. Trusting his judgment we rented Mars Attacks.

What a bad mistake. This film tries way too hard to be wacky and outlandish. Somehow this makes it even more lame and boring. I waited all through the movie for the speed to pick up . I wanted so bad to laugh at one of the jokes, but none of them were funny. This movie proves the point that a movie like Plan 9 From Outer Space can't be purposefully made. If you set out to make a "good" bad movie you inevitably end up with a "bad" bad movie.

The aliens were mildly amusing, but they weren't particularly interesting in the long run. The idea of Tom Jones' singing being the secret weapon probably sounded great on paper, but on the screen failed. Much like the rest of the gags that fall flat on their face.

I'll never have those two hours or so back where I faked laughter not to hurt his feelings. Everyone that loved this film should realize that what they really appreciated was the concept, but not the entire finished product.

Say Anything (1989)

Pleasant Surprise

[5 January 2000]

I was never expecting to enjoy this film as much as I did. I was at home watching TV not too long ago at 3 in the afternoon. Everyone seems to love John Cusack movies and I'd never seen one myself. I didn't know what to expect from the movie as it just unexpectedly popped up. This film was great.

John Cusack is touching and funny as a guy who isn't just one of the guys. A great example of the cliche that "the nice guy finishes last" but in this film he doesn't. His determination to win Diane's affections is impressive.

The father of Diane was well portrayed too. He isn't an unreasoning jealous monster. The relationship between him and his daughter is very realistic. It was hard for me to get the image of his character on "Frasier" out of mind for a while but he did a good job in Say Anything.

Lloyd's love interest was portrayed a little weakly though. The movie sets her up well as a sheltered daughter but doesn't really give her a huge amount of depth.

By the way, I love the comic relief characters. Lloyd's friends are hilarious. One of them wonderfully foreshadows Alanis Morrisette's powerhouse of the woman scorned "You Oughta Know" with the 65 songs she writes about her old boyfriend.

As always in 80s movies, the fashions can steal the show. I wonder if someday we'll see movies like American Pie or Can't Hardly Wait and laugh at what we used to wear, like Tommy Hilfiger, or 1990s wannabe punks, etc.

Galaxy Quest (1999)

Empty Calories

[2 January 2000]

This film had a killer premise going for it. Just imagine if William Shatner actually had to become mankinds savior for the 587th time, except this time for real. That is what kept the movie rolling for me and saved it from mediocrity.

I was pretty impressed with Tim Allen in this movie. I'm glad he can move on from Home Improvement and do something that is actually entertaining.

The problem was that the concept wasn't fully developed. I wouldn't go as far to say this film was a satire. There are probably other films on a similar subject that have transcended the obvious elements of scifi and society.

I'm glad that the aliens were pretty much totally non-human in appearance. I'm sick of the Star Trek "it's too expensive to create convincing aliens, so we'll take an ordinary human and put ridges/patterns on their brain/forehead area" trick.

It was clever for so many sitcom stars to appear in this movie. From: Home Improvement, Victoria's Closet, Stark Raving Mad/Wings, Just Shoot Me. The whole movie had an extreme television feel to it keeping in line with its theme.

Spellbound (1945)

Somewhat of an intro to hitch for me

[2 January 2000]

The first Hitchcock movie I've seen was Vertigo. I was amazed by it and started to look for his other works. I decided to buy either this or Notorious. Spellbound seemed to be right up my alley because of the Psychology angle. The promise of a Salvador Dali art-directed sequence sounded really cool too.

I can't help but say I was disappointed the first time around. The characters had to explain every little detail about how psycho-analysis works. A little bit would have been interesting, but the writers went overkill. There wasn't as much suspense as I had hoped. The Salvador Dali sequence wasn't what I had hoped for. There seemed to be little about it that was dreamlike. I have to agree with another poster that the explanation of the wheel in the dream is the most cockamamie thing I've ever heard.

The second time I saw Spellbound I had much more appreciation. The romance angle became more enjoyable after not expecting so much of a thriller. Ingrid Bergman is absolutely luminous. I really liked her character's mentor. I kept expecting him to say "Do. Or do not. There is no try." You just need to realize that pop-psych was a very new phenomenon. Nowadays we take ideas like Oedipus Complex for granted when we hear about them. Still, the movie has the tendency to sound like a big infomercial for psychoanalysts.

Rushmore (1998)

OR

[23 December 1999]

I was meaning to see this movie for a long time. The very concept presented in preview shows grabbed me. Max Fischer is one of the most fascinating characters in a long time. I've gotten tired of everyman type actors. Is it just me or is Tom Hanks overrated? The actor is boring. Schwartzman, who plays Max, has a very promising career ahead of him. His portrayal of a nerd that is very sure of himself, a welcome breath of fresh air, is dead on. Even though Max would behave like a spoiled brat at times I couldn't help but cheer him on. He's only 15 in the movie for goodness sake.

The shots in this movie are actually pretty gorgeous for a comedy. The numerous close-ups are very effective in conveying about a hundred times more than the words do. This is especially so in showing the quality of Ms. Cross that Max and Herman find irresistable. The lines reveal much as well. With just a few words, Herman shows how much he loathes his spoiled brat kids.

One theme this movie presented that I found interesting was emphasis on grades. Max flunks out of Rushmore but you know that he has the drive to become a success, regardless of pointless rote memorization. Another was that you can learn to live in the real world but not give up goals, no matter how high they are. Such as the way Max resolves his pathetic attempts to win Ms. Cross' love.

By the way, this movie has one of the cheesiest but funniest lines ever:

Max: Nice nurses' outfit you got there

Ms. Cross' boyfriend: They're OR scrubs

Max: O R they?

Final Fantasy VII (1997 Video Game)

2nd Favorite

[11 December 1999]

This game rocked, but I can't bring myself to play it again recently. I don't know why. I guess it's because FFVIII is enhanced in more ways, so I'd rather play it.

Graphics: When they came out, the character design was awesome. The step up to 3D graphics was definitely welcome. It added a ton of variability in what the characters could actually do (except for the Cloud making a T with his arms you see a million times). The backgrounds are the true star. They make the videogame much more interesting visually. In previous installments you were limited to walking around on tiles in a 2d world. FFVII may be essentially 2D but can fake 3D very well. The plain Popeye type characters can be forgiven at the time.

Sound: For the most part I really didn't like the music in this game. It sounds like someone just grabbed a moog synthesizer (whatever they're called) and pounded notes randomly. The exceptions are the final battle theme (adding vocals helped immensely in adding mood) and Aeris' theme.

FMV: These add a lot to the game. I don't feel they have detracted from the game itself one bit. The only complaint is that there is no unity in the way the characters look, like too many corners were cut. Still, they remain epic and grand. Everything is large scale and exciting. My favorite scene, besides the infamous Aeris scene, is when you take off in the Tiny Bronco. It brings you into the game.

Characters: Probably the most bland FF characters besides FFV and earlier. Squall is derided for being a one-dimensional James Dean wannabe. That would make Cloud 1/2 dimensional. After he rejected Tifa and Aeris' advances for the millionth time I ended up thinking that his obsession w/ Sephiroth was more than just revenge. I mean can you explain their extremely large and Freudian swords any other way? The clincher for this theory is Cloud's flashback to his confrontation w/ Seph in the chemical vat. I mean, sometimes a cigar isn't just a cigar. Sephiroth's oedipus rex syndrome with Jenova also makes another fascinating pop psychology observation.

After that digression, the cursing of Barret gets old. I mean, at least toss in different word. Tifa is needy, Aeris is a space cadet, Cait Sith is not really believable (even in a fantasy). I think the corporate board of Shinra was underused.

Look: The first city has a very Blade Runner feel to it. The slick, high-tech world of the haves and the run down slums of the have-nots. The colors of blue and green are used well to emphasize the overall theme of life (opposed to the muted tones emphasizing romance in FFVIII). Midgar (Midgard was the realm humans dwelled in according to Norse mythology between Asgard, home of the gods, and I can't remember the other. Correct me if I'm wrong) is absolutely huge. Too bad none of the other locations have as much atmosphere to them.

Misc: There is no difference between the characters. At least in FFVIII there is a big difference in how you utilize limit breaks.

Knights of the Round materia takes the place of the Vanish-Doom trick of FFVI.

The only armor the character's have are bracelets?

Switching materia is tedious. Especially since swords and armor of different characters accomodate more or fewer materia, so you have to totally rearrange. At least w/ Junctions, it is simple to transfer abilities.

Pokémon: The First Movie - Mewtwo Strikes Back (1998)

Original

[18 October 1999]

I know, I know. I've been ridiculed many times for being a twenty year old and wanting to see this infantile movie. I've heard parents speak among themselves in horror of this terrible demonic Pokeemon thingy. However, I am terribly curious. By chance I had to get up at six in the morning and caught the show. I was hooked. This Japanese show has everything American cartoons don't. An actual sense of weird and wacky humor. Turn on the Saturday cartoons and you'll get the usual uninspired thing. Pokemon is truly funny and weird and doesn't take itself seriously at all. The only cartoons I'd consider watching at all are this and Warner Brothers' Batman series. Pokemon brings me back to the days of good cartoons like Ducktales. It is goofy and stupid but not in a bad way like Power Rangers. If you want your kids to see some hilarious lowbrow humor take them to this movie. Anything would be better than professional wrestling. When this movie arrives in theaters you can count me in along with all the screaming little grade schoolers.

PS: James of Team Rocket is "the man"

Alice in Wonderland (1999 TV Movie)

Tedious

[7 June 1999]

I am not surprised that so many people liked this movie. The special effects were well done. However, everything seemed toned down. I loathed this version just a little less than the pointless musical version made several years back. It totally lacked the madness and whimsy of the book. The whole part about Alice overcoming her stage fright is pointless, preachy, and tedious. The Queen of Hearts should have had a booming assertive voice a la the Disney version. Here she's a high-pitched little twit instead of a foolish but powerful woman. The girl that played Alice was too winsome, timid, and not clever enough. The special effects were just weird and not magical. What was up with the Chesire Cat? The dialogue was maddeningly slow. The book was very talky as well, but it worked in that medium. The story moved just about at a crawl.

I love Alice in Wonderland more than anybody (I must have read it dozens of times) but I could not tolerate this total revamping of the story. Things that shouldn't have been changed were and things that should have been adapted from the book weren't. I could see the moral coming at the end and just had to skip it.

Election (1999)

Vote For This Movie

[8 May 1999]

I just can't believe it. A movie about teenagers that isn't focused on pre-graduation soulsearching, make-overs, or prom night. It's hard to believe but MTV has backed up a movie with a real message to it. Stranger things have happened.

I recently saw "10 Things I Hate About You". I didn't find 10 things to hate about it and it was a fun little romp. The main character in that movie was supposed to be cynical, but this movie is downright blackhearted. I enjoyed the fact that this film skewers all sides it presents to us. Yet while it distances you from the four main players you can still see where they're coming from. I loved the monologues that the four main characters give at different points in the movie. That shows us that all of them are in such denial about what is really going on in their lives. The 1990s are the perfect target of this film. No one seems to ever want to accept that something they have done is wrong.

Matthew Broderick surprised me. He turned 180 degrees from his Ferris character. He plays a high school teacher, Mr. McAllister, living a smothering boring life. His clothes are drab, his wife and even the woman he fantasizes about are all plain. He drives a car not even four clowns could fit into. Did any of my favorite high school teachers regret the life that they chose, seeing their students on to lives that they wish to have themselves?

Reese Witherspoon steals the show as Tracy Flick. A raging hurricane of ambition, resentment, and pride. She even has her own jungle cry theme music whenever someone crosses her. I thought I would dislike her character from reading the reviews but I understood her motivations better after seeing the movie. It's hard not to resent people that get things easily in life while you have to struggle. It's hard to not be truly appreciated for overachieving. She even begins to question whether her goals are even worthwhile. However, she plans to win the student body president election at all costs.

The second candidate, the stereotypical dumb jock is the only character that is pure of heart. You think you would dislike his character but he is just TOO nice of a guy. He cynically shows us that nowadays, it seems you would have to be an idiot in order to have any scruples. His sister Tammy, miffed that her girlfriend left her and hooked up with her brother decides to become the third candidate. She wants to abolish the student government, saying it truly has no purpose. While there is no contest to that, her motivation is questionable.

Just watch this movie to see how events turn out and you won't be disappointed. So many subtle touches were put into this movie. The principal after learning of Tammy's proposal from her speech labels her as a dangerous element and suspends her. Thinking back I'm sure that similar things happened at my high school, corrupt officials manipulated things to suit themselves.

Election deals perfectly with one of the greatest teenager themes of all, infatuation. Infatuation makes the characters so blind that they can't even tell whether their actions are right or wrong. They justify the things that they do under the pretense of "love" and don't realize there are consequences to their actions.

10 Things I Hate About You (1999)

Not a masterpiece, but fun.

[25 April 1999]

I was really not expecting to get anything out of this movie. I am 20 now and don't really want to bother going to see a "teen" movie. I am so tired hearing about Sarah Gellar, Ryan Phillipe, Dawson's Creek, Felicity, and the huge group of folks trying to be the new brat pack (which I am not impressed too much by either).

I was surprised how much fun I had. This is a silly little brainless romp. So what if there are some cliches, like the new guy getting prepped on where certain obligatory cliques hang out and what they do. Also, the actors don't really look and truly act like teenagers The whole was more than the sum of the parts. The colors were bright and the scenery was nice. I would have given anything to have gone to a high school that looks like a castle. The ocean view was gorgeous too.

Kat is a girl that is the obligatory "bitch". She is the Bikini Kill listening, riot girl acting, feminism spouting, girl from hell. I found her portrayal to be a little too predictable. I could see her comebacks coming a mile away. I think this makes sense though. We find out later that this is all just affectation. All teenage "outrageous" behavior can be boiled down to affectation. Kat is tough, but not the cliche she pretends to be.

The ensemble cast is good. They did a pretty good job breaking down all the facets of high school life. The kid from 3rd Rock From the Sun did a good job portraying the most accessible kid, we can understand him the most. My favorite character in the entire movie was the only adult that had a major part. Kat's dad was really funny. His overreactions to his daughters trying to have a life are hilarious and understandable. His character was the closest to being complex.

By now everyone knows that this movie was based on The Taming of the Shrew, which I'll admit is one of the Shakespeare plays that I have never read. You could see it coming through in the classic battle of the sexes. The writers were way to heavyhanded trying to get the original writer of the story across. Padua High? Kat Stratford? Patrick Verona? Why didn't they just have a character named Roman Juliette? High schoolers these days probably need such obviousness though.

All these things put aside I couldn't remain snobby about this movie and left with a smile on my face.

A Bug's Life (1998)

Ho-hum

[20 April 1999]

I was invited to see this movie with my half-sister and her son. I decided to go but I wasn't that crazy about the movie at first. Not to say I was prejudiced from the start. I love kids movies if they are done right and have a little depth to them. I also like special effects movies if there is a worthwhile plot.

Still, I was pretty underwhelmed by this movie. I did not like the characters very much. I love Dave Foley in Newsradio and the casting of him as an ant was pretty straight on. Still there weren't any interesting facets to his character. The smallest princess ant was very annoying. There is also something about the way their faces move. I keep hearing that this film was such a landmark in computer animation. That may be true but the characters still looked like lifeless puppets. That could have been forgiven if the plot was worthwhile. It lagged all the way. The whole idea of a circus of bugs wasn't that interesting. It was just an excuse to bring in some of the more exotic type insects.

I do admit that the movie looked good, but it was all overly pastel and Disney styled. Leave the movie before the "outtakes" start. Outtakes are very tricky. Sometimes they can be funny. Most of the time they are the sort of "you had to be there" type funny. I have never managed to laugh when seeing an outtake of someone forgetting their lines. "Oh, funny, you forgot your lines, ha ha" What's worse, A Bug's Life adds fake outtakes at the end. What a lame idea!

In closing, your kids will love this movie. It's got pretty colors and occasionally breathtaking scenes, but this is all just wallpaper. It lacks energy and imagination. You will be yawning by the second or third time your kid asks to see it.

Teenagers from Outer Space (1959)

Lobsters From Hell!!

[20 April 1999]

I was kind of hoping that the "teenager" element would have been gone into a little more indepth. Sort of a "Rebel Without a Cause" meets "Robot Monster". In a way it kind of does. The "space hooligans" live in an intensely regimented society without families and where the old are put to death (can you say Cold War era?). Derek rebels against his races' plan to use Earth as a pasture for the monstrous Gargons (giant lobsters).

I am also fascinated, as is the other reviewer, by the intensity of Thor(the alien sent to apprehend Derek). Man, does this guy have a chip on his shoulder or what. There has to be a reason that this guy has such a strong drive to destroy Derek.

Call me a dog hater, but I just love the fact that a little rat dog named Sparky gets fried in the outset.

The ending of this movie is a little sentimental but pretty interesting. If you want to see more of Harvey B. Dunn (aka Grandpa) check him out as the birdloving police chief in Ed Wood's Bride of the Monster. I also have heard a rumor that David Love (Derek) is nowhere to be found, and that he really talked the way he did in the movie.

Rebel Without a Cause (1955)

Powerful

[17 April 1999]

I agree with most of the reviewers. This movie is just as powerful as it was 44 years ago. Inside the cheesy braggadocio of an angry gangster is a confused kid. I can't think of a single person that did not feel alienated as a teenager. James Dean represents what every teenager would want to be. Individualistic: has a set of values and sticks to them Brave: engages in activities most of us would never consider (esp. chicky run) Kind: caring to Plato and Judy

James Dean is perfect in his role as Jim Stark. More is said in this movie through gestures than words. One lift of his eyebrow, one syllable can say so much. When he does speak, you know that he believes what he is saying. The shot of Jim rolling out of the speeding car is amazing. I can think of few modern action films that have had me riveted to the seat as I was during the switchblade fight.

Natalie Wood is superb in her role as well. Judy is looking for attention that isn't there. This is perfectly summed up when she says "I love somebody, all this time I was looking for someone to love me, but now I love somebody." She desperately looks for acceptance and acknowledgment in the wrong places because her father does not want to see her as a young woman.

Even though Dennis Hopper's role is rather small, you can see that he knows what he is doing. He portrays in my mind, someone easily pushed around when he tries to fit in. He seems different than the rest of Buzz' gang and even looks more boyish. He timidly tries to interject a comment in front of Buzz and is just brushed off.

I don't think that this movie is strictly an us versus them type of scenario. Trying to take care of Plato and to protect him, Jim realizes that being a parent is not as straightforward as he thought. His parents are more than just caricatures of the nagging wife and emasculated husband. Everyone in the film is confused about how they fit in to the big picture. The movie is simply told in the self centered manner any teenager would view it as. This can account for the sequences which many would see as over the top. I think the central theme of the cosmos presented in the planetarium show demonstrates how teenagers view themselves as the center of the universe. Thus all the scenes concerning each of the three teens conflicts are equally dramatic.

Edtv (1999)

Mediocre and Uninspired at Best

[7 April 1999]

I am in awe of how many people are gushing about this movie. I did not find it particularly bad, but I wish it was. At least that would have made it somewhat interesting. However, I was stuck with this dreary film for way too long. I found that the theme was far too obvious and preachy. People who love this film will get upset when I compare EdTV to The Truman Show. I agree that they are two completely different films handling the subject of mass media in totally different ways. However, I found EdTV much more joyless and lacking in imagination.

Where to start. I could not identify one bit with the main character. We've had Matthew McConaghey forced upon us as the "next big thing." I did not empathize with him at all. I was not impressed with his irritating portrayal of a supposed sensitive, folksy, homespun guy. He simply bored me. I didn't care at all about the contrived subplots about his family either. I thought that the gross out scenes were lame. They seemed like last minute attempts to copy "There's Something About Mary". Especially the gag involving the cat.

I was disappointed with an actress that has proved herself. Jenna Elfman deserved so much more. The script does not capture one ounce of zest for life and instant likability that is evident from "Dharma and Greg". Her character burdens the actress with whininess and a permanent squint.

Ellen Degeneres' character was one of the bright spots. At least she managed some believable spontanaiety.

I hate to say it but if you want a SMART comedy with actual SATIRE check out The Truman Show instead.

Six-String Samurai (1998)

Why do I like it?

[7 April 1999]

This movie has so many faults. But why do I love it so much? First off the position of the bad guys is never really explained. I mean who exactly are the windmill people? What makes Buddy flip around when the kid cries? (Amen to the reviewer who mentioned the kid's psychotic episode inducing moan) Just what exactly happened at the end? The music is great but at certain times does not feel fitting for the situation. Buddy repeats the same lines over and over as if that will make them cooler. (ex. Float away little butterfly, swell, etc.)

However, there is so much to love. The instant Falcon appeared on the screen as Buddy, the kung fu rocker, I was amazed. I kept thinking to myself, "dang, this guy is awesome". The scenery and photography is gorgeous. As to a comment about erotic photography I did notice that there was a similar scene. Buddy and the kid are standing on opposite sand dunes. It looks like a pair of boobs to me, but that's just me.

As for the guy that complains that Death was given a wussy guitar, that seems to be the point to me. Heavy Metal is contrasted with Rockabilly and Surf Guitar. The director obviously prefers the latter, and so do I.

The dubbed voices are cheesy, but that doesn't make it any less cool. I loved the too short segment involving the "windmill god" himself. But what was with that kid who kept saying, "Tag! You're It!" To get all the nuances of the film you probably have to be an anime, hong kong, mad max, Sergio Leone junkie. I liked the fact that the movie was bloodless. It helps to keep the fun factor high.

This movie is just what the world needs. Meteor destroying the Earth, bah! A pale remake of a giant rampaging lizard, forget it. Take a trip back to the fifties when rock was revolutionary.

A Shot in the Dark (1964)

SideSplitting

[7 April 1999]

Peter Sellers is an absolute genius. I was a huge fan of Dr. Strangelove so I decided to try out what I had heard was the best of the Pink Panther series. I wasn't disappointed. Sellers is just so believable. Not for one minute do you believe that he is acting. He doesn't seem anything but clueless.

The music is fantastic. The opening song is beautiful and the main theme is very catchy. I prefer it to the original Pink Panther theme.

The supporting characters hold their own as well. Elke Sommer is absolutely gorgeous as Maria Gambrelli. She's great as straight woman to Sellers. I don't know how she could refrain from laughing in the scenes where Clouseau is coming on to her. She also gives very funny explanations to Clouseau's inquiries with a straight face. Burt Kwouk really steals the show. If you haven't seen the movie yet I won't spoil the surprise for you.

Go rent this movie if you want to laugh until your sides hurt. What ever happened to slapstick this great?

Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Movie (1996)

Rather good. Not in the league of Manos: THoF

[7 March 1999]

Unfortunately, I have never had the chance to see this movie in the theater. I am as obsessed with this show as the other fans but I got into the whole deal rather late. At the video store I thought that the tape of MST3K:the movie was a good deal at only $9. That started my descent into madness. Now I have bought all the tapes of the TV series released by Rhino and compulsively, regularly watch them. So you can see that I am rather a newbie to the series, especially since I can't see it on the SciFi channel cause I don't get cable. However, I can tell that the TV series is far superior. This does not knock the movie in any way. It is just that This Island Earth in not THAT bizarre of a movie. It definitely is not in the hideous league of Robot Monster. I even heard it was one of the best and most realistic alien movies of the 50s(!) and that This Island Earth fans hate MST3K for making fun of it. Still, time has surely made a difference regarding This Island Earth (unlike the timeless classic, 2001: A Space Odyssey). The hero was just to macho and deep-voiced to be believable. The friendly alien is just too goofy. No one even notices the aliens huge foreheads for quite a while. Also, too much was cut from the original movie. If there are any MST3K guys that don't know this listen up! You know that delivery man that gives Joe the packaged Interositer handbook. Guess who that guy is. COLEMAN FRANCIS!! Yes, the incredibly inept actor/director from Red Zone Cuba, an MST3K classic.

The 5,000 Fingers of Dr. T. (1953)

Misleading Title: This isn't a sci-fi flick

[2 March 1999]

It was only by chance that I ever even heard of this movie. I was listening to a show called Over the Edge on Pacifica radio and heard some really cool snippets of songs from the movie. I looked the title up here on the IMDB and ordered it right away.

How can I begin to describe how cool this movie is. Each character is a delight. Bart Collins is a little boy who knows exactly what he's doing. You have to see how goofy he looks when he runs around, especially in his "official Terwilliker beanie." The plumber, Mr. Zabladowski is humorously cynical yet easily taken in. Bart's mom is hilarious as the easily hypnotized captive of Dr. T.("The work for the happy fingers method must go on.") And who can forget the choreographer of chaos, the conductor of cruelty, the lyricist of leers, the pianist de resistance, Dr. Terwilliker himself. Forget all the Disney villains, the wicked witch of the west, etcetera, etcetera. This guy is just soooo deliciously evil. Did Dr. Seuss even notice what a queen this guy is. I mean he's got his own crew of men to dress him in what he himself confesses in a blouse, a bodice, undulating undies, and what not. The entire musical sequence that takes place in the non-piano-playing musicians dungeon resembles a bacchanalian orgy. (Sometimes a trombone is just a trombone) Dr. T even asks the plumber to dance.

Don't forget the set. It is a seemingly endless labyrinth of stairways, hallways, and passages. There's 50 searchlights, destinationless ladders, electrified fence. Something of a cross between Disneyland's Castle and a death camp.

The only qualm I have is that the ending is somewhat of a cop-out. The whole group of 500 kids should have played the happy fingers song at least once.

If you want to see an extremely imaginative, subversive, extremely freudian movie this is your ultimate goal.

Does anyone know why or if a verse in the dungeon elevator song about the household appliances (scalping devices) was omitted? I would also like to know if there is a soundtrack out there somewhere.