quake-4 Reviews

Battlestar Galactica (2003)

Let's Give It a Chance

[9/10 · 12 December 2003]

I liked the original Battlestar Galactica until the stories got too ridiculous (cylon gunslinger episode jumps to mind here). One must remember that the original series appealed a lot to those who like quick action, comic book shoot'em-ups (I did back then). Carrying the book theme one step further, while the original series was more comic book in tone and storyline, this one by comparison is more like literature: it is far more serious, even dark; has more weight in its complexity and issues it addresses; and tries hard at being more technologically "realistic"; therefore, I think it brings more value to the screen. Understandably, for some the show could get boring because of all that relationship building, touchy-feelie nonsense, but that's the point of story building. If you don't create some interest in the characters, then who gives a damn what happens to them. The show suddenly turns into nothing more than a special effects freak show and that gets boring too. Did we all not take interest when the immortal lines "Luke, I AM your father" were spoken -- character development does that. So I think that people who say they hate this thing should try to take a deep breath, back off a little, and give this show a chance to win you over. We might all get pleasantly surprised -- I hope.

Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World (2003)

A Winner

[10/10 · 28 November 2003]

The attention to detail is amazing. The computer generated scenes are flawlessly interwoven making the entire film look incredibly real throughout. Shipboard life is authentically portrayed, at least from all I have read about the age of sail. Battles were very, very authentic looking: the very first battle at the movie's beginning is jaw droppingly brutal. The acting was excellent by all involved. This is what happens when you make a movie based on a very good book. A sequel will be welcomed.

Bowling for Columbine (2002)

Brilliant

[21 August 2003]

The "unemployed critic's" comments are adequate to get a sense of what this film is all about. I thought the film was both disturbing and eye opening. You definitely come to the conclusion that Americans are generally a nation of irrationally scared-out-of-their-minds people who also have lots of guns and ammunition. It is a must see film that should be viewed by all members of the news media, politicians, and the NRA in particular.

About Schmidt (2002)

Incredible Ending

[7/10 · 18 August 2003]

This is the only film I can remember ever seeing where the last 90 seconds of the movie was as powerful as this one was. Half way through the movie, after watching Schmidt struggle through what was left of his messed up life, I almost felt like blowing my own brains out because it was so depressing to watch (although it was often funny too) -- then the last 90 seconds of the film showed up. This movie is worth seeing, but it is really worth seeing even more because of those last damned 90 seconds. I can say no more.

Tears of the Sun (2003)

Nine out of Ten

[8/10 · 8 August 2003]

I avoided seeing this movie for a long time. I hate Special Forces movies because most of the ones I've seen engage in `Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon' daring-do like those Rambo fantasies. But this one is different, really different. This one is gritty, in-your-face, speaks with authority, and tells a great story of compassion that drives the whole thing. The professionalism and skills portrayed in this film just enhances your pride that America can produce professional soldiers of such high caliber. (I suspect real Seal instructors helped in making this one.) Despite what you may think from the trailers, there's little combat in this film, however, when it does occur its incredible to watch because it's really rough. The seal team very quietly taking out a platoon of murderous rebels in a jungle village is what really did it for me (pure silent, quick, and deadly stuff); and the final battle at the film's end - well you know it's fake, you know it is - is damned near nerve racking. Bruce Willis, et al do a really good job. I could have done without the pain-the-ass pretty female doctor crap (why couldn't the doctor be just an ordinary old fart white-haired man), but she finally calms down. I know their were a few goofs, such as the weapons used by the planes in the final scenes (someone saw that, I didn't really notice), but hell, if that's the worst of it, so what? This one is well done, just about at the level of `Saving Private Ryan.'

Gods and Generals (2003)

Disappointing

[19 July 2003]

There is a reason why children know so little about history: it's told dryly and without excitement. Thus Gods and General follows the tradition of all history books in telling an otherwise exciting an important story in the most boring fashion imaginable. I only continued to watch this movie because some of it was filmed just a couple of miles from my house and I wanted to see how my neighborhood looked in a movie. If not for that, it would have been turned off about one third of the way through and returned to the store.

Gods and Generals had the potential of being a masterpiece but it fails on so many levels I can't even begin listing them. Nearly all the dialogue is long (very long), boring blather delivered with such slow mind numbing solemnity that the brain drifts to other thoughts to escape the agony. The movie is excessively maudlin (for the southern side in particular). Scenes suffer from the Heaven's Gate syndrome, that is, most seem to never end, drifting on and on leaving the viewer with little salvation from the tedium.

Interestingly, of all the battles in the Civil War, two stand out as particularly important and gruesome: Gettysburg and Antietam. Gettysburg has already been done quite well, but Gods and Generals chooses not only to ignore Antietam, it doesn't even mention it! That is perhaps because the South didn't do all that well. Some battle scenes are well done, others pathetic. I thought Fredericksburg was particularly well done except for Chamberlain's unbelievable monologue that was not only excessively long but pointless. General Lee is not in the movie very often, but Stonewall Jackson is in it nearly continuously. The movie Gettysburg told a balanced story of both sides struggling in a terrible fight, don't look for that here.

So, basically the movie is meandering, pompous, and self righteous crap excessively crammed with unnaturally spoken drivel about the South's perspective in the war and Jackson's participation in it and very little else.

Beowulf (1999)

Yikes!!!

[2/10 · 19 May 2003]

Whew! After watching this film I am now convinced that I could produce movies more enjoyable and interesting to watch using a camcorder and a few drunken zit-faced teenagers. The dialogue was enough to almost make me wish I was deaf, and the action scenes were just a little more interesting than watching two two-year olds swatting at each other with balloons. The Playmate "actress" (and boy do I use that term loosely) does her "Debbie-Does-Dallas" routine once too often and, despite our viewing of her two obviously greater talents, her dalliances were about as interesting as watching Don Rickles having sex. Please, by all that is holy and just, be merciful to all of us and do not make a Beowulf II!!! In fact, who do I sue to get my rental money back?

The Replacement Killers (1998)

Not Enough Gunfights

[3/10 · 17 May 2003]

This movie, despite what you think it may be about, is really about gunfights. There are more gun battles in this film than there were in the Civil War. Pistols capable of shooting dozens of rounds without reloading, criminals who could not hit their target (even wounding it) despite blazing away with - oh let's say - a billion rounds of ammunition, and a hero that is capable of killing them by the dozens. Did you know that you cannot be shot if you drop and roll? Yes, it's true, the gangster shootout version of duck and cover during an atomic attack. Drop and roll deflects all bullets headed your way. So, if you like gunfights with automatic and semi-automatic weapons, and the only reason your life has meaning is to see gunfights with automatic and semi-automatic weapons, then this, believe me, is the movie for you.

The Transporter (2002)

Unbelievable

[8/10 · 8 May 2003]

This movie was fantasy in the extreme, but as an ex-karate instructor, I must say the fight sequences were downright breathtaking. I enjoyed the film but unfortunately the goofs in continuity were many and some were so blindingly obvious I caught them on the first viewing. However, a somewhat anal-retentive super jock does have some appeal so I'd recommend this movie to anyone who enjoys slam bang action films involving a slightly odd hero.

Signs (2002)

ED Wood Lives!!

[1/10 · 19 January 2003]

Manoj, you don't really have and talent directing. Go into shoes sales and stop trying to be a director, it's over your head. Your talent is closer to Ed Wood. Mel, go back to Australia and have about 15 more babies which you apparently are really go at producing. You reached your top with Braveheart and its been downhill from there. Maybe you can do Moe in a Stooge revival. Watching this movie made death seem a pleasing alternative. I'm thankful I rented the damned thing and didn't spend real money to see it in a theater. This movie is junk, plan and simple.

Star Trek: Nemesis (2002)

Time to stop

[5/10 · 2 January 2003]

After viewing this film I can honestly say it is finally time to stop the series. A child could have developed the plot. Although the self destruct sequence wasn't working on the ship at the moment of truth, believe me, in reality it was on the whole miserable time and went off when the credits came up.

Road to Perdition (2002)

Wow

[9/10 · 15 July 2002]

Without question one of the great films of its type since the "Godfather." You can even see it with a date and they'll, assuming the date is female, will find value in watching it. The scenes are so rich with detail and grittiness. Tom Hanks once again pulls off a great performance. Paul Newman is just wonderful, the old fart's like the Energizer Bunny and still looks like movie star. The story almost seems like something out of Shakespeare. Nicely done.

Planet of the Apes (2001)

Cardia Arrest

[8/10 · 23 November 2001]

Okay, the movie was pretty good. I gave it a high rating for all the obvious reasons, i.e., special effects and makeup. However, it appears that Mark Wahlberg's character, or himself, has massive cardiovascular problems. A little before, and almost constantly after he leaves the ape city where he was a prisoner, he's in a state of shortness of breath. He's gasping for air in nearly every scene, even after he walks a short distance. Take a look for yourself.

The Thomas Crown Affair (1999)

Terrible

[1/10 · 31 January 2000]

I'll go against the popular belief that this was a good movie and say it was awful. My trigger point is Rene Russo's character who is capable of making the most unbelievable and instantaneous leaps in deductive reasoning that she makes Sherlock Holmes' capabilities look like the efforts of a low grade moron. You couldn't have pegged Thomas Crown for the crime much faster than if he left a written confession behind complete with photo I.D. and address where he could be found.

King Kong (1976)

That's It?

[1/10 · 7 December 1999]

Remakes of classics start out in trouble because they have a lot to live up to. This remake succeeded in failing to do just that, improve on the original. The special effects aren't much better than a high school production, and the acting and directing are better left without comment. All the great scenes from the original, i.e, the Kong battles with other creatures (save for one terribly fake snake fight), the battle in the native village, and much of the New York mayhem was eliminated and often replaced with a guy walking around in a monkey suit doing lots of wild arm gestures. The relationship between Kong and the girl is well established many, many times. In the original, Kong's affection for her is exhibited by his willingness to often fight to the death for her. This version uses lots of eye contact and tender moments as if Kong had read "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus". The final fight on top of the World Trade Center is nicely done, and I do think Kong's plunge to his death and final moments are a little better than the original. (The heart-beat sequence is quite unique.) Overall, I feel that a movie, with nearly 40 years of technology development between it and the original, should outdo the original in at least some areas. This one does not. After watching it, one is provoked into asking the question, "That's It?"