Danny SwazZ Reviews

Tarzan (1999)

Not one of Disney's best

[7/10 · 18 August 2001]

I have to say I was quite dissapointed by Tarzan. It just didn't hold up to Disney's standards. Instead of an interesting, original story like in classics such as The Lion King, or Mulan. Tarzan was merely a copy of every "jungle-boy" movie ever made.

I must however hand it to this movie for being the best Tarzan I've ever seen. The music was average, but if nothing else watch it for the spectacular animation.

Overall 7/10, not outrageously terrible but not bewildering.

Double Team (1997)

The king of bad movies makes a half-decent one

[6/10 · 18 August 2001]

Jean Claude Van Dame-Bad-Movies turns up with this HALFWAY decent action movie. Kinda boring at the starting but ends up to have some pretty decent action and maybe a few laughs.

6/10 - Not really worth watching.

Duke Nukem 3D (1996 Video Game)

Well it scared me

[7/10 · 27 July 2001]

When I played this game at 10 years old it scared the heck out of me. But then when I played again in my teenage years I found it to be rather crappy. The effects were good for it's time. But now there are better First-Person Shooters out there. Soldier of Fortune, Quake 3..etc

Vampires (1998)

The goriest movie ever made...

[3/10 · 27 July 2001]

Yeah, just stay away from this glorious piece of crap at all costs. It's movies like this that give vampires a bad name. It depicts them as pale, emotionless bad guys with sharpe teeth. As if it helped that the movie was storyless and revoltingly bloody. I also found it outrageous how 80% of the movie I spent watching Priests and other innocent victims get torn apart in the most grotesque ways. I can usually take blood and gore with an iron stomach. This is a horrible exception.

Other than some pretty tense moments at the end, there is nothing to suffer through this filth for. I give it a 3 out of a possible 10.

Super Mario Bros. (1993)

Does it get any worst?

[2/10 · 27 July 2001]

Seriously, has there ever been a movie this bad? It will forever hinder video game to movie conversions in the future. Heck, this movie is so bad it gives the Super Mario video games (which are awesome) a bad freaking name.

Aside from being goofy and horribly written, it sucked! Did I mention it sucked? The only good effect in the whole film was the cool jumping around jet packy things Mario and Lupi used. But they didn't even keep them! This movie suffers from poor direction, poor acting, poor everything. And I'm proud to say it takes a humble spot in my 10 Ten Worst Movies of all time list.

Bless the Child (2000)

I gave it an 8/10

[8/10 · 22 April 2001]

Bless the Child is about a 6 year old girl born under a star so she has special powers, and she is destined to lead many to God. However there is a satanic cult out to turn her to the "dark side", if you will. It was a pretty good movie, it had to do with God, angels, the devil. Quite frankly I liked it.

Gladiator (2000)

The best movie I've ever seen!

[10/10 · 26 March 2001]

From the beginning battle scene I knew I was in for an awesome movie. Gladiator tops my list as the best movie I have ever seen, or at least second best. It has everything from great story, to great acting, to amazing fighting sequences. I was on the edge of my seat the whole time!

At the time of this movie, Gladiator has won 'Best Picture' and 'Best Actor' Russle Crowe, and other academy awards which I feel it really deserves.

If you haven't seen this movie, then go get it now!

The Matrix (1999)

AWESOME!!

[10/10 · 26 March 2001]

You have never seen anything like this before! I didn't know what I was in for when I watched Matrix. I certainly didn't expect the best movie ever made! Matrix is incredible, awesome original storyline, great characters, and I can not even say enough about the awesome effects!

Nuff said! I gave this movie a 10/10, go see it now!

Blade Runner (1982)

How did this cr*p manage an 8.8?!

[1/10 · 26 March 2001]

After watching the trailer I knew it would be bad. But seeing the rave reviews and incredible rating it got here on imdb I decided to give it a try. How I made it to the end of this movie I do not know. It ranks as number 1 on my list of Top 10 WORST movies ever made, and I've seen lots of bad movies. To begin with, the setting was dark and gothic, the horrible music sure didn't help either. As for story... what story?!?! Retired Blade runner hunts down 5 replicants and shoots them dead. Amazing storyline isn't it?

It was a horrible movie! I don't know what else I can say, my only advice to you is to steer clear of this junk. There are so many better movies out there!

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly (1966)

Possibly the best western ever made

[10/10 · 26 March 2001]

It's more than 30 years old and still The Good the Bad and the Ugly still managed to get a 10/10 on my list. It was awesome and funny from beginning to end. It's a rip roaring adventure you must see at least once in your life.

The Lair of the White Worm (1988)

Horrible

[1/10 · 28 January 2001]

Terrible movie, with goofy music and the kind of wacked out scenes you'd expect to see in a bad dream. I thought the movie sounded good when I heard it had something to do with vampires and such. It turned out to be a long, boring movie that wrecked the rest of my evening, if you know what I mean.

Don't watch this movie. Expecially when there is so much more better things out there.

The Blue Lagoon (1980)

I wish I was shipwrecked...

[10/10 · 28 January 2001]

Amazing movie. Blue Lagoon tells the story of 2 cousins shipwrecked as little children and grow up on a lush, green, perfect island. The movie goes through the whole process of growing up in an interesting and detailed way. Including a good sound score and perfect scenery. Sure, some of the dialogue was pretty corny, but otherwise the acting was superb. Very well written plot, made we wish I had gotten shipwrecked as a little kid...heh

After watching this movie, most other movies just looked like crap. Thats just how good it was. See for youself.

Virtual Combat (1995 Video)

Watch only if you like torturing your mind

[2/10 · 8 August 2000]

So pathetic its not even funny. From the first scene in the movie I knew I was in for a bad time. Thank goodness I only saw this movie on tv. The story line was terrible, not to mention the acting. It was horrid. Very unreal and unusual things happened in this move such as. The lady sticks a whip under the door and whips the guy a little and he just hands over the keys. I'm like, GET REAL. The creators lousy attempt to make a futuristic city even deepened my dislike for the film. To tell you the truth the only good thing in this movie at all was the fighting, which was in itself pretty lame. All I could ask myself when watching this movie was "when is it gonna go off!"