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Gov_William_J_LePetomane
Greg Giraldo: 12/10/65 - 9/29/10
James Gandolfini: 9/18/61 - 6/19/13
Philip Seymour Hoffman: 7/23/67 - 2/2/14
Harold Ramis: 11/21/44 - 2/24/14
Jan Hooks: 4/23/57 - 10/9/14
Douche Limbaugh: still alive
Sure there's a God!
Proof that the vast majority of human beings are fuggin' stupid:
1. The George Zimmerman verdict
2. The Casey Anthony verdict
3. The 1995 O.J. Simpson verdict
4. The thousands of drivers I encounter every day
5. The election of Mark Sanford to the U.S. House of Representatives in 2013
6. The re-election of Marion Barry as mayor of D.C.
7. People who pay money to see Adam Sandler movies
8. The re-election of George W. Bush as POTUS
9. The fact that false, so called swift-boat ads full of outright lies had a large part to do with #8
***UPDATE**** You know what? Forget everything you just read. All the proof that's needed can now be summed up in one number: 2016.
Here's a list of TV shows I'm proud to say I've never watched:
Miami Vice
Kate and Allie
Who’s the Boss
St. Elsewhere
L.A. Law
Thirty Something
Cagney and Lacey
Full House
Growing Pains
dallas
Dynasty
Falcon Crest
Knots Landing
Knight Rider
Remington Steele
The A Team
MacGyver
Magnum P.I.
Murphy Brown
Moonlighting
Law and Order
Law and Order, SUV
Law and Order, GTFO
Ally McBeal
The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Beverly Hills, 90210
Melrose Place
NYPD Blue
Quantum Leap
Friends
CSI: Miami
CSI: NY
CSI: Cucamonga
CSI: Bandar Seri Begawan
The Wire
Boston Legal
Supernatural
Mad Men
How I Met Your Mother
Deadwood
Lost
24
Community
Dexter
Friday Night Lights
The Shield
House
Bones
Castle
The Walking Dead
Game of Thrones
Justified
Arrow
Criminal Minds
Blue Bloods
New Girl
Two and a Half Men
Anger Management
Hot in Cleveland
Sons of Anarchy
Grey’s Anatomy
The Mentalist
Dancing with the Stars
The Voice
The Apprentice
stupid *beep* cooking shows
Jersey Shore
Deadliest Catch
Teen Moms
Pawn Stars
Nip/Tuck
Face Off
Extreme Makeover
The Amazing Race
Kate Plus 8
Duck Dynasty
America’s Got Talent
Angel
Spin City
The Drew Carey Show
Psych
Just Shoot Me!
Alias
Entourage
Will & Grace
30 Rock
and
Family Matters
Ratings
Most Recently Rated
Lists
An error has ocurred. Please try againpretty much every movie I've seen, ranked from best to worst.
Reviews
The Life of Emile Zola (1937)
A decent early Best Picture winner
Excellent performance by Paul Muni. Also, the opening scene is remarkably similar to the opening act of La Boheme: penniless writer and penniless painter living together in meager, mid-1800s Parisian living quarters; they're cold and they decide to warm themselves by burning items in their flat; a knock comes at the door - don't answer, it's probably the landlord looking for the rent! (it turns out not to be, but still)
The Tree of Life (2011)
Well, it sure was a movie...I guess
In the immortal words of Taggart from Blazing Saddles: "What in the Wide World of Sports is a-goin' on here?"
Ambitious? Yes. Beautiful, striking imagery? Check. Did some of it sail entirely over my head into the wall behind me? Absolutely.
Even Sean Penn said, "A clearer and more conventional narrative would have helped the film without, in my opinion, lessening its beauty and its impact."
I guess I just didn't really get this one.
On the other hand, a movie with music from John Tavener and Gustav Mahler can't be all bad.
Les Misérables (2012)
One of the greatest films of its decade
Why it's so terrific:
For me, it was the incredible, raw emotion of it. Hathaway and Jackman especially. They just laid waste to those roles.
Plus the whole live-action singing idea was brilliant.
I'm not a huge fan of movie musicals, but this one was extraordinarily well done.
It's earnest almost to its detriment, unapologetically sticking to its medium and I admire that about it.
All Quiet on the Western Front (1930)
Very great for its time
For a while, I was not liking it that much. The exuberance of the young men jumping up in the classroom, eager to go fight, came off as silly. Ditto the scene where the men get revenge on their training officer. After the first half hour, though, there is some tremendously affecting content. The battle scenes are terrific, and then you remind yourself you're watching a 90-year-old film and you're suddenly just awestruck by it. Then of course, the final tragic frames are very memorable.
Avatar (2009)
Monumental technical accomplishment? Sure. However...
It's a pretty amazing film, but it's hurt by the inclusion of corny Braveheart battle speeches, the typical drawn-out final battle between #1 Good Guy and #1 Bad Guy, and the just-a-little-too-perfect/ideal scenario of the creatures coming to the rescue during the conclusive battle scene.
Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid (1969)
Likely my pick for best film of 1969
I could have done without all the "Raindrops keep falling on my head" business, but overall this was a very fun movie, especially the banter between the two leads. They have some great chemistry and some great lines and Newman and Redford both really shine. In fact, I think I may have been more impressed with Redford in this one. He showed a side (a badass, frankly) that I didn't really know he had.
Marty (1955)
A bit on the disappointing side
This one was pretty disappointing to me. I probably need to see it again as well, but it just wasn't very enjoyable. It was almost like a Twilight Zone episode where everyone but the main character, and occasionally him too, have gone mad, berating the titular character for not being married, then berating him for his sudden interest in a girl. And while I think this won an Oscar for screenwriting, I thought the writing was lackluster at times.
Doctor Zhivago (1965)
Another great Lean saga
I had seen most of this movie already over the years, but I think this was actually the first time I sat down and watched it all from beginning to end. I mean, well, it's David Lean, it's Omar Sharif, it's Julie Christie. It's a grand, impressive, epic saga isn't it? I think it sort of suffers, though, from the fact that Bridge On the River Kwai and Lawrence of Arabia are SO fantastic (at least they are to me). Sort of the way I feel Pablo Honey suffers because OK Computer and Kid A are just so fantastic.
A Serious Man (2009)
A must see for Coen-heads
I was pretty pleased with this one. I'd been looking forward to seeing it for some time, and for the most part it delivered. There were many laugh-out-loud moments, great use of music (the Coens are just so damn good at this), and one of the best performances of 2009 from Michael Stuhlbarg in a year filled with great performances by Christoph Waltz, Charlotte Gainsbourg, Clooney, Sam Rockwell and many others. And while I'm usually not too thrilled with "You-decide-what-happens" endings (I'm here to be told a story, so tell me the WHOLE story if you please!), this one didn't bother me quite as much, probably because the movie is so quirky anyway. One last note - I dig the rapid-fire opening credits sequence. Very innovative.
Hunger (2008)
Definitely needs to be seen
The first 30 minutes are painfully slow, with long, purposefully-lingering shots of mundane activities or motionless characters. Then the film suddenly explodes into violence. Those scenes are followed by a 25 minute scene of a discussion between the central character, Bobby Sands, and a priest. And then lastly are the final starvation scenes. Vivid stuff.
Man on Wire (2008)
Worth seeing, but has frustrating omissions
It was good. But two very big disappointments: 1) there was no video/film coverage of his walk! There is for Notre Dame and the Sydney bridge. But not for the WTC? What the hell? 2) I get not wanting to mention 9/11. But we're all left wondering what Petit's reaction was on that horrible day. Why not at least have that as a special feature?
Religulous (2008)
As an atheist, I admire the effort. But...
Maher is a hilarious and very smart dude, and his monologues in the movie are good. But overall, this documentary really missed the mark. My biggest problem was with the editing of the interviews he conducts, which are clearly cut on numerous occasions to make the interviewees look dumb, cutting to reactions that they almost certainly didn't make in response to the things Maher is made to seem as though he just asked or said to them.
Atonement (2007)
One of the best of 2007, which is certainly saying something
The first 50 minutes were absolutely riveting, masterful even. Unfortunately, the 2nd half was much slower. But the performances by pretty much everyone were fantastic. It also had a great score that incorporated a typewriter as in instrument. How *beep* cool is that?
I'm Not There (2007)
Good but flawed
Pretty damn good film which manages not to illuminate, but to further deepen the mystery of Bob Dylan, which may be why it's the only Dylan biography sanctioned by the man himself. I already want to see it again. I may need to own it. "Ballad of a Thin Man" is perhaps the highlight (well, that and the ridiculous Cate Blanchett), though some of it I didn't quite get, like the Richard Gere scenes.
Le fabuleux destin d'Amélie Poulain (2001)
It makes no sense
I scarcely even know where to begin.
Amelie finds Bretodeau and immediately hands over his long forgotten box of childhood relics. No, wait. That's not what happened! Instead, she decides to take the chance that he will stop to answer her call to a public payphone. Brilliant. "You don't understand, she's shy." Not too shy to come right up to the front door and ring the bell of the first person she hopes is Bretodeau, and to ask that gentleman to his face if he is Dominique Bretodeau. And not too shy to approach numerous people in her search for the guy. It makes no sense.
Amelie successfully hooks up Joseph with Georgette (through typically implausible means I should add), but despite the fact that they just banged the crap out of each other in the bathroom, they suddenly start acting like their old suspicious selves again! It makes no sense.
Instead of just handing Nino's photo album back to him, Amelie devises an elaborate scheme to return it (because, you know, she's shy). She has him come to a designated spot at a designated time. But instead of simply handing the album over at said spot, she calls the payphone there, instructing Nino to follow the blue arrows she apparently spray painted (!) on the public sidewalks, which lead him to someone Amelie apparently hired (despite all that shyness) to be a human statue, who points to a coin-operated viewer, which reveals Amelie returning the album to the bag on Nino's motorbike. It makes no sense.
"Again, you don't understand. Her upbringing turned her into a shy introvert." Right, right...not too shy to walk into a porno shop. Not too shy to sneak into people's homes to tamper with their belongings! It makes no sense.
But here's the real kicker: Nino quite obviously notices and even interacts with Amelie at least twice when she passes him in the metro station. He knows who she is, at least by appearance. He is quite familiar with her face. Furthermore, he knows that's her riding through the funhouse! He looks right at her! When he climbs down onto her car, he looks straight into her face! So it makes absolutely no sense that he suddenly appears to not recognize her later at the cafe. It makes no sense.
Oh, and Amelie: congrats! You nabbed a psycho who spends his days crawling around on train station floors and collecting photographs of strangers when he's not feeling up carnival riders in a skull mask or working at the porno shop! But I'm sure he's fine. He's familiar with proverbs.
It makes no sense.
5/10
Paths of Glory (1957)
Disappointing
It could have been so much better. So much more powerful. I was left feeling there were missed opportunities here to really turn this into a great film. My biggest problem: where was the outrage from the protagonists? Everyone just seemed to go along with events, the show trial, etc., without doing much to challenge them.
The Night of the Hunter (1955)
So, so, so very underwhelming
What I liked: The boy who played John was great. Robert Mitchum was great. And the underwater corpse shot was cool (though when they do that shot from above, when the uncle sees the body, it did not work AT ALL. That made the river seem like it was running with the clear blue waters of the Caribbean.). That's about it, folks. What I didn't like: Hoo, boy. Where to start? The main problem was just how painfully OBVIOUS everything was made, the complete lack of subtlety. They might as well have had Mitchum's character stalking about with a cape, and twirling the end of a handlebar mustache. Same goes for the mother-in-law, and Lillian Gish's character, and anyone else deemed righteous and holy: the were practically wearing wings and halos. The look of the river escape scenes: not good. The river and riverside sets just look like sets, nothing more. And that *beep* at the end with Gish essentially sermonizing directly to the camera, "Children are man at his strongest. They abide. They abide and they endur.
North by Northwest (1959)
Frankly, my dear, it's disappointing
What I liked: The acting was good. Some of the dialogue was good. The Mt. Rushmore shots were fun, by and large, and the final shot of the train barreling into a tunnel is just too hilariously suggestive not to like. What I didn't like: well, there sure are a lot of far-fetched a-goin's on, aren't there? Thornhill does precious little objecting in regards to his kidnapping. And attempting to get rid of Kaplan by pouring bourbon down his gullet and crashing a car? That's the best they can do? And Vandamm and company simply commandeer the Townsend manse? Is it that easy to do, to just waltz into the home of UN diplomat and take it over? Thornhill gets on the train to Chicago without a ticket too easily. And why not just do a drive-by while Thornhill is waiting in that Indiana cornfield? Killing him from a plane is easier than that? And the final sequence of switching from the scene with Eve dangling from Mt. Rushmore, to Thornhill pulling Eve up into bed - at first I thought it was awfully hokey. But I can also see another side to it: Hitchcock perhaps snubbing his nose at the usual damsel in distress being saved finale that everyone was expecting. Oh, and the laughter of everyone in that elevator to the line "You aren't really trying to kill my son, are you?" was bizarre and nonsensical.
Sunset Blvd. (1950)
Another really great classic that lives up to the hype
What I liked: the creepy feel of the old mansion during the first half of the film, the final scene of course, the weird incident with the dead monkey and its burial. What I didn't like: some of Swanson's over-the-top acting.
The Third Man (1949)
A really great classic that holds up
What I liked: all those big shadows of moving figures in the streets, there was some good suspense, the very last shot was tremendous, and the zither music but...What I didn't like: they used the zither music WAY TOO MUCH.